NEVER AGAIN!

I can’t do the sour grapes thing anymore, for I will become what I loathe most. Yes, the market is manipulated. That shit did not just happen today. I am sure the market has always been manipulated. What’s important to note, however, is the sudden absence of the shadows near my favorite urinal. I am not sure if they went on vacation (likely to Paris) or moved out; but they’re not there anymore.

I’m pretty much amazed/stunned by today’s turn around. We went from a frown, all very sad and gloomy, and we turned it upside down.

As I speak, traders on the NYSE are doing lines of blow off vintage Beatles records and the executive producer of CNBC is jacking off to his intra-day ratings. Back at the banks, as evidenced by MS, executives are pondering what the fuck all the fuss is about, as their trading turrets have been sucking dick for months. Nonetheless, rainbows and gay giraffes descend on Wall Street, thanks to the Bearded Clam and his trusty sidekick, Prezident O’Bama.

Never again will America need to endure a recession, for they have been made illegal. Never again will 401k and 403(b) participants fear their monthly statements. Never again will Americans need to work or pay for their mortgages (okay, just a little sour grapes).

In other news, it appears RARE EARTH plays, MCP and REE, are taking the day off. What a shame. Look forward to their Earth, as opposed to the shit you walk on, to be back in play—first thing tomorrow morning.

I will do a market wrap up later aka whenever the fuck I get around to it.

Wow, there is no doubt that robots are fucking with this market. Some of you can pull up some intra-day charts and see what the fuck I am talking about. Following really, really weak economic data, the markets began to drop. The dollar was firm, gold was weak, treasuries were great, breadth was horrible. Basically, it looked like a down day in the making.

Then, out of nowhere, the dollar plunged, gold soared and breadth improved dramatically. Believe me, I watch this shit like a hawk and it NEVER changes this quickly, without news. I’d rather not devolve this conversation any further by declaring “the market is rigged.” However, it certainly is fishy.

Right away, high beta stocks are responding to the buy programs, pushing shares of FFIV, VMW and AKAM higher. God and Santa Claus know how much I hate AKAM.

Bottom line: if you asked me 15 minutes ago “can we rally today?” I’d say “fuck no, go get me a coffee.” However, the way things are lining up now: absolutely.

Indignant malcontents.

I have been blogging stocks for over 4 years, gifting you dick suckers with coin making ideas/ family style entertainment. In exchange for my graciousness, you pepper these holy grounds with backward commentary.

Over the past 4 years, my investment style has evolved tremendously. Long ago, I was something of a gunslinger, like you. I’d rattle off 50 trades per day, which in turn led to sky rocketing blood pressure and a temperament that made Archie Bunker look like a nice guy. Times have changed.

I’m much more focused on mean reversion, asset allocation and beating the livers out of conventional wisdom, instead of following the herd. If you are interested in being in a herd, get the fuck off my site, for I loathe people who are unable to think out of the box.

JBL warned. They are the largest maker of CSCO routers, being a very large contract manufacturer. And, KBH warned: big fucking deal.

Ultimately, the market will bend to fundamentals. You just need staying power and clever asset allocation to make it through the process.

One final note: Japanese intervention is failing.

Do not confuse the shit you read here, on this Godly site, to true investor sentiment. I hear a lot of “well, everyone is bearish, so we must go up” jargon. First of all, that’s an idiotic statement. Secondly, it’s a fucking lie. Take iBC as a cross-section of investor sentiment. Basically, everyone but me and Gio, who has been AWOL for weeks, has been bullish on this tape. Granted, HOLLY-Woodshedder and Chess are somewhat cautious, but not nearly as bearshittery as HORATIO CLAWHAMMER aka “The Fly.”

It’s important to know who you are and avoid fighting it. I am HORATIO CLAWHAMMER and I am here to bash in your skulls.

As an aside, I’d like to punch the livers out of all tech stocks, trading with p/s ratios above 10. Seriously, fuckface, these valuations WILL NOT last: I fucking guarantee it.

Having said that, never heed my advice. Instead, seek the counsel of your local fucktarded money manager, as he will goose step alongside all of the other little lemmings, all the way to Dow 14,000. As for me, I upped my TLT exposure to 25% of assets today.

I spit on your person. I spit on your future graves.

Signed

H.C.

Yes, it’s as if I am living through the dot com era once again. Although the movements are not as violent, the pervasive moves higher in tech stocks reminds me of the days when I’d trade CSCO, at a time when it had a 500 billion dollar market cap. After all, it was the “new economy” with limitless ceilings. Here we are, 10 years later, and NFLX, AMZN, AAPL, CRM, FFIV, VMW, BIDU and let’s not forget everyone’s favorite burrito stock CMG are defying the basic laws of gravity. If you are trading momentum, inside of a bullshit 5 figure Zeeco account, you should have no problem getting out of these time bombs—when the collapse begins. However, if you are managing money, professionally, you are out of your fucking minds buying tech up here. Contrary to popular belief, NOTHING is guaranteed, not even from the Federal Reserve.

That’s the new bullshit, circling around town: The Fed has a put on the market.

I’d rather not discuss it.

This morning’s bad breadth market has improved, led by gains in tech. CRE and banks are still weak, so I am not too enthused. It’s one heck of a bull run and you are probably better off reading the missives of one of iBC’s more optimistic bloggers, providing you are into trading. “The Fly” has a line in the sand and will not cross it, no matter what.

I do like the action in TLT and it is very indicative of the true nature of this economy, much more so than the price to sales ratio of FFIV.

It’s not enough for me to pan the market, day in and day out. I must do more, in a way that cannot fucktard myself into murderholes, a la 135% “Venus Fly Trap” trading. I’ve been buying TLT rather aggressively, as it is the least aggressive way to bet against equities. One way of another, through hook or crook, yields will fall. My good pal Scott Bleier likes to say “we are Japan.” I could not agree more.

See folks, it’s time to do “The Hugh Hendry” again and piss on all of those who own TBT. Do it with vigor and tenacity. As for me, well, I’m just an olde fashioned type of guy, who opts out of chasing rallies, fueled by fucktarded money managers (Tepper). I couldn’t care less about his performance data, especially since my own data is better. In other words, Tepper can fuck a horse after a divorce, as far as I am concerned.

Vortex trading dictates or mandates the following:

Bullish on bonds
Bullish on the dollar
Bearish on Commodities (ex Gold)
Bearish on Equities

I could go on; but that pretty much sums it up. In the past, gold went lower when deflationary scares hit the market. However, the nature of gold has morphed. It is now acting like a reserve currency. With that type of status, it’s very hard to be a gold bear, for any significant length of time.

So far, breadth is poor, especially in CRE. Also, certain banks are trading like asshats, especially MTG and MFG. I like the pin action is some heavily shorted names, like ATPG. But, for the most part, I am uber bearish on this market. This market distresses me. I am taking measures to bring it down.

In response to U.S. pressures to force China to revalue the yuan, China countered with adding “anti-dumping” duties on U.S. chicken feet, anywhere from 50-100%. As of now, there are no restrictions on human fetus soup.

As many of you ham and eggers chew on granola bars, on this splendid evening, Asian markets are advancing. It’s like a chain reaction of abject stupidity, which is also reinforced by many of you simple IRA types. Your lifestyle is in line with your thinking. Therefore, I do not expect you to understand me or agree with my assertions.

On November 12th, iBC will celebrate its third anniversary. By then, I expect many of you to be under my shoe, once again, as God always has a way of blessing me, while punishing my enemies.

As the clock ticks, the set up is ripening. There has never been a time, in all of my years investing, that I have been 100% certain about my positioning. Needless to say, I am 10,000% (anything more than 100% is simply annoying, no?) certain, as I write this. Perhaps it can be chalked up to a disruptive mental disorder, one that I am unaware of. Or, I know exactly what I am doing and why.

As I close out this blog post, “The Fly” has great plans for himself and is plotting out another dramatic career move, as his evolution quickens. In case you are wondering, YES, he will leave you in the dust: but that’s because, to a large degree, you’re entirely wourthless [sic]. So sorry.

You didn’t think I could forget about today or this week and get drunk like the rest of you losers, did you? I have nothing to celebrate.

I am not going to give opinions in this post. Instead, I will offer up some statistical facts, for your perusal, and to confuse you a little bit.

Man, the dollar sucks. It’s getting fucking killed right? Over the past two weeks it’s down 4.21%. Whoa, holy fucknuts. Wait a second, year to date it’s only down a whopping 0.48%. Hmmm.

Next.

Gold is this years winner, up 18.05%. Hey, do you want to know the only asset class that is outperforming gold, aside from silver (+26%)? How about TLT? BINGO. Correct. TLT is up 18.38%, ytd.

Copper? Nah, only up 5.5%.

Financials? Up 1.88%

Oil? I mean, with the dollar tanking to the tune of 0.48% this year, oil must be up huge. Nope. Down 14.99%, which is leagues better than natty—down more than 36%.

How about SPY? Well, it’s up 9.4% over the past month, the biggest gain in 71 years. However, for the year, I’m afraid it’s barely up 4%.

Material stocks? +3.9%.

Do you get my drift?

We might spring board higher and close out the year with spectacular gains or reverse lower and clown rape everyone, including David Tepper (if I see you at Short Hills mall, you’re catching a pizza slice to the mustache). But it’s important to take a step back sometimes, block out the noise, and see what is really working here. It’s easy to get caught up in emotionally charged, catalyst driven markets. But, if you take a look at things from a longer time frame, the true trend crystallizes. Is money really fleeing the dollar because of inflation fears? If that was the case, wouldn’t it be down more, ytd? Gold is awesome, but so is LQD, JNK and TLT.

Investors have been chasing yield. Maybe that will change. Perhaps the economy will rebound and banks will soar 50% from here. However, we already had the monster run in 2009. That was the easy money, just like 2003. To me, I view 2010 like 2004, the year after the big rally. During 2004 and 2005, we pretty much traded flat, as the market consolidated its gains. Looking at the year to date stats, and blocking out the last two weeks, that’s exactly what we have been doing.

Just a little late night perspective for you dick sucking ball jugglers.

Okay, I don’t want to ruin your experience by revealing spoilers, so I will be vague with my review. All in all, it was a solid movie, with lots of high points. The movie is heavy on nostalgia, cliches and a bit preachy. Aside from Gekko’s daughter, the acting was solid across the board, especially the performance of Josh Brolin. Of course Gekko was good; but not as good as the original. You can only tolerate so many one liners, without thinking this man is a fortune cookie with legs and arms.

The plot was good, although scattered. Oliver Stone definitely missed out on a huge opportunity to nail a stake into the Wall Street elite. Instead of showing real, tangible, causalities of the credit crisis, they opted to gloss over it and show glamor. Go see the movie and we can talk more later.

As for this tape:

I am surprised we are not up 900 points today. To think we are up a mere 200 on absolutely no news is disheartening. Very nice, we live in a wonderful country. This is a short squeeze of epic proportions and I need to acknowledge some people who nailed this move. You know my style, piss on everyone else while touting my own grandeur. Well, I missed this move, for 3 weeks now. Instead of capturing easy money, I’ve fought hard to preserve. It’s a long story, my plight and all; and frankly, who gives a shit?

Spydercrusher, Ragin Cajun, Scott Bleier Jakegint, ChessnWine <—-These fuckers nailed this market. If you're not reading all of the bloggers on iBC, you are missing out.

Enough about them, let's talk about me again. I am two minutes from leaving the office. As it stands now, I am about 20% VXX, 14% TLT, 20% long, 5% short and about 41% cash. And, as you know, I am all in TZA in my personal aggressive accounts. It's a loser of a day; but I have immense staying power. For managed accounts, my beta is relatively low, so there is no panic. However, let's call a spade a spade, this fucking strategy has been bleeding for weeks. I can only take looking at the ship take on water for so long, before I am forced to buy a new boat.

Bottom line: I am not capitulating. Wall Street 2 is a solid production, albeit unrealistic. Congratulations to those of you who nailed this move.

I’m going to put aside my bias, since that is redundant and boring, and throw out a few names that are worth looking at.

Tech stocks are now being viewed as “imminent m&a” targets. The deal flow is plentiful and investors are positioning for more deals. Some potential take over plays, in the tech space, include: VCLK, ARMH, ATHR, CRNT, ADTN, CY, CRUS, MRVL, RAX etc. Frankly, there are a lot of names out there being talked about as takeover plays. Recently, my interests have been in the “rare earth” space, thanks to “The Devil.” As you know, this is an industry that is dominated by China. However, there are a few names that trade here, specifically MCP, REE, both worth a look.

Regardless of the market strength, I do not like the banks. I do not like how they are trading and definitely do not like their business models. So, forget about them.

If you need to be long, the industrials, chemicals and commodities are where it’s at. I am talking EMN, IR, MT, FCX, EMR, MTW (interesting and cheap) etc. The big cap, big business, multi-national names is where value can be found, as well as growth. Ideally, I’d like to buy these names on a pullback. I even went through the trouble of creating a Growth at a Reasonable Price (GARP) portfolio, inside The PPT. However, due to this gorilla run, I’ve been unable to allocate funds. I am stubborn like that.

All in all, today’s a big day, with near perfect breadth. Typically, the market is sort of boring from 10am-3pm, as the robots take siestas during those hours. So, if we are going to see a push higher from here, it will happen in the last hour of trade. In my opinion, if you missed this move, it’s sort of too late and pre-mature (if that makes any sense) to buy now. You are much better off stepping in around 2-3pm, if you are dying to get in.