BEHOLD: Q. E. II

Despite a weak economy and Detroit devoid of jobs, oil is trading north of $80. Think how lucky we are, to enjoy such prices, even though we have RECORD supplies of oil. Correct me if I am wrong, but don’t we have more oil now than at any time in the history of the world? To think, should this economy “come back,” oil will trade north of $400. Actually, if oil did trade up to $400, I’d enjoy it a great deal, as it would force all of you blue collar losers off the road, leaving it for the rich only—a gentleman’s pastime of sorts.

Once the rich are left on the roads, driving will become a privilege and an honour, once again—as it was intended by God. People will tip their hats to one another, as they ferry their respective families to far away park grounds, where picnics will take place. Granted, it might cost $500 just to fill up a tank; but it will be money well spent.

Additionally, airplane usage will be reserved for the wealthy, as fat fuckers with 10k in their 401k’s will be “X’d” out of the whole ordeal.

Frankly, thinking about the future of big oil gives me goose bumps. I might just buy a few oil stocks today, just for the novelty. Or, after seeing EDMC and LLNW rip higher, I might buy a Goldman Sachs holding, or two. I have the full list inside The PPT. Just to name a few: H, CVI, NPD, CIE, KAR…

Seeing the futures, we are set to rally at the open. It makes no sense, small boy, to ponder about these things, as the Federal Reserve has more punches for your scrotum. They do not care about dollars or family trips to the park. All they care about is QE II. They have QE on their brains, 24/7. When their wives ask them to throw out the trash, I am 100% certain they reply: “QE II, bitch. Throw that shit out yourself, ho.”

To be honest, I can’t wait for QE II. By the way, when rates start going up, how will the Fed unwind all of that paper they are buying? Wait, I know: QE III.

If you rubes like wine, you will enjoy his show.

Little by little, the chairs are being removed from the floor. Soon enough, the music will end you will be left sitting on the floor, with tin cup, without coin. What you are witnessing today is classic end of the quarter bullshit, as money managers dress their respective windows with all of the finest shit. We haven’t seen this type of volatility in awhile. If you are long NFLX and made 30% this month (LOL!), you have to lock that shit in. At the same time, you have funds who are cash heavy dying to get in the game.

A few things that interest me, aside from perpetually higher equity prices:

FXY fishtails higher daily, much to the chagrin of the Bank of Japan and Japanese exporters.

TLT is rock steady, as retail money floods into bonds.

Banks have been weak all month long, despite the mega-charged, QE2, rally.

The market is controlled, once again, by the minute by minute fluctuations of the dollar.

Gold is the new reserve currency (rolls eyes)

No one seems to be concerned with weak European growth, following continent wide austerity programs.

Why do people think devaluing the dollar will lead to prosperity? Did it work for Japan? Furthermore, are we seeing inflation or purposeful currency devaluation on behalf of the Federal Reserve? Remember, Japan’s currency went down forever, amidst bone rattling deflation.

In short, ignore today’s volatility. It means nothing. Some of you think the market is going to new highs, based upon technicals and other stuff, ideas totally devoid of logic and reason. Others think the market will crash, due to the inexecutable, improbable and impractical U.S. policies that aim to print money, in order to solve deep rooted economic problems. The rest of you don’t know what the fuck is going on and have opted for the luxuries of cash. One thing is for certain: the animals in the zoo are running and in charge of the nuclear arsenal.

Feel lucky?

At the end of this quarter, my gains stand at about 27%. I am currently long large amounts of VXX, despite you motherfuckers panning it daily. I am short AEM. I am long large quantities of TLT and have been buying FXY. I have some longs left, but nothing meaningful.

For the love of homosexual dogs and criminal enterprises, I am positioned for a pullback.

Ireland bailed out their big stupid bank with monopoly money. That bailout, when scaled up to our size, is worth 4 trillion dollars. Had that news come out 2 months ago, the Irish would be throwing fire bombs in Dublin, trying to kill off their government. No, none of that would be had in the gentrified month of September, 2010. Instead, we get rallies upon rallies.

I just got back to the office, as I was out all day conducting business—if you must know. Looking at the market now, I see nothing was missed. Big rally. Failed rally. False breakdown. Get your popcorn ready.

NFLX, JCP, JWN, IVN, BIDU, CNH and LINTA all popped more than 30% in September. MCP and FNSR soared more than 50%. Folks, the market is as gay as a three legged statue of Liberace, with all of them diamonds and shit on it. Do not pretend to understand; just move on.

As for me, I managed to miss out on one of the coolest melt ups in the history of the stock market. I did take some bullets to the chest, through VXX/TZA positions. However, for the most part, damage was contained due to asset allocation weightings. Going into October, I carry the same bullshit that gave spastic strokes in September (full position sheet inside The PPT). Some of you call it madness. I consider my dedication to be religious. Don’t fuck with my religion, else I’ll go Ireland on your candy asses.

This guy is pretty good. Always objective, unlike most of you bullshitters.

What’s your number?

Do not be silly, small pleb. The market is not going lower, nor the shares of NFLX—ever. Thanks to QE2, the Taliban has surrendered and Osama Bin Laden killed himself, via rpg to the face. Fighting the BEARDED CLAM is simply too hard. The world, as we know it, has changed forever. Remember, stock prices are always attractive, no matter the price. FFIV, AKAM, CRM, AAPL, BIDU and friends will bring about a new renaissance, not seen since the go-go days of the late 90’s.

I know some of you were annoyed by some breaking news story, regarding JPM and fraud. Please, ignore all stories, as QE2 is about to commence. For the record, QE2 does not like when you sell securities.

As for me, I am plagued with a disruptive mental disorder. Therefore, I cannot and will not be held responsible for my own actions, which are many. Thus, I initiated a long position in FXY, with the hopes and prayers that the great country of Japan will capitulate and swim in its own feces. Aside from that, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve given up trading stocks. I’ve been waiting for some semblance of a retreat, much to chagrin of my daily account balances.

Oil spiked today, as well as small cap equities. Prepare for the continuation of “September Surge,” first thing tomorrow morning.

Top picks: psychotropics

I’ve come to embrace this melt-up and now find myself rooting against myself. Life simply isn’t fulfilling without NFLX, FFIV, CRM, CMG and AMZN trading higher. I want the highest prices possible, for all stocks, particularly those with PE ratios north of 40. If you find yourself catching pinless hand grenades inside of a murderhole, resurrect yourself and transform into an asshole dip buyer. It’s pretty simple. Join the party and piss on those who think the market is expensive.

With the Bearded Clam on your side, you can’t lose. No point in “fighting the Fed,” while there are plenty of easier fuckers to fight.

Looking at today’s tape, I see nothing but green pastures, littered with daises and lavender. For some oddball reason, banks are trading down this morning. However, from what I gather, banks are no long used in America. Therefore, the market can go up without them.

Haters drinking haterade.

In closing, life is all about HPQ ripping out your long position at a 55% premium. Don’t hate the player; hate the game.

I am happy to report, “The Fly” has won the honor of being named “Best Blogger of the Year Award,” by the good folks over at Blogger Institute For Finance (B.I.F.F.) Naturally, the process was democratic, with the BIFF delegates casting anonymous ballots, choosing from 99 finance bloggers, worldwide.

Here are some of the results:

1. “The Fly” (iBankCoin) 77%

2. Big Picture (10%)

3. Zero Hedge (8%)

.

.

.

56. HOWARD LINDZON (1/2%)

.

.

.

99. Reformed Broker (1/32%)

Once again, congratulations to “The Fly” for winning this years BIFF award.

If I hear any more shit, regarding “The September Surge,” I will find you and split your head in four parts. I’ll go QCOM 4 for 1 on your asses, without regard for personal injury. The market is simply testing my staying power, by way of perpetual, yet insidious, daily melt ups. Little does Mother Market know, “The Fly” can hold his breath a long, long time. I’m the type of guy that is willing to die for a cause, providing it is a cause only reserved for a gentleman. From my vantage point, this is a most distinguished task, one that cannot and will not be underwritten by the likes of you.

I reckon, you are far better off obtaining the friendship of a Mr. James Cramer, than emailing “The Fly” with money management requests. For the last time, small plebs, “The Fly” is not accepting new money. Moreover, even if “The Fly” was down to his last nickel, he’d never accept clients from the internets. Let it be known. Let it be archived: I have my own fucking money. Fuck you very much.

Back to the subject of perpetual mark-ups: do you think that it bothers me? On the surface, it vexes me to the point I am stroking out, like a fucking retard on a life endangering insane roller-coaster ride, doing loops. However, deep down, I don’t give a fuck. Next thing you know, POOF, “The Fly” is in Mexico City doing shots, hanging out with first rate idiots. This stock market business that you speak of is simply child’s play. My near term focus is to raise enough private capital to sink my enemies, simply out of spite. You do not know what I speak of; therefore, I will say no more.

At the end of the day, the market is all about pricing and timing. Sometimes my pricing is off. Other times my timing is off. On Jupiter’s stone and the eyes of my future great grandchildren, your pricing is completely and utterly wrong.

Good night to you and farewell.

Dollar/SPY (intra-day)

That pretty much says it all.  The dollar fell hard and the indices ripped higher. Breadth went from horrid to terrific. If you slept in today, long equities, you woke up to more of the same. Unbeknownst  to you,  AAPL was down 15 at the bell. Here is my specific issue with chasing this rally:

The market is going up on the back of technology shares. Agreed? For the most part, oil and banks have been quiet to weak. There has been strength in the industrial names. But, for the most part, tech has stolen the show.

SYMBOL    FPE    P/S
BIDU    49.00    55.00
VMW    38.00    18.00
ARMH    24.00    17.00
FFIV    20.00    13.00
AMT    49.00    12.00
CRM    75.00    12.00
AKAM    15.00    11.00
RHT    35.00    10.00
CTXS    20.00    8.00
MELI    44.00    19.00
CAVM    54.00    13.00
APKT    25.00    17.00
NETL    23.00    10.00
ARUN    23.00    10.00

Essentially, if I was to buy into nasdaq related stocks now, I will be ignoring the lessons learned 10 years ago, during the dot com bubble of 2000. Am I exaggerating? Absolutely not. Unlike 1999-2000, this economy cannot support those exorbitant valuations. You cannot make gold from shit, no matter how hard you try. We are priced for perfection. Should we deviate from perfection, you will see the floor removed from bids and share prices will plummet.

When will this happen?

No idea. I read some report, from the blowhards at Goldman,  calling for S&P 740 by 2011. To me, that’s fucking laughable, on a hysterical trend. But, it’s worth noting, Wall Street is hurting right now. I know you are seeing something different. But, where this shit all starts, people are about to lose their jobs again. What Wall Street needs are some frothy ipo’s, in order to showcase our shit to the public again. It’s not surprising to read Joe Public has pulled all of his money out of the stock market, in exchange for the mattress. This shit is too hard, unless of course you have the proclivity to be one directional in nature. I mean, if you are permanently bullish, you are absolutely killing the market right now. On the flipside of that coin, those same people will end up bearing the brunt of the future pullback, if that shit ever happens.

At the end of the day, clearing all the smoke and shattering all of the mirrors, I am simply asking for better valuations, before allocating fresh capital. Is that too much to ask? What would my excuse be, if the market suddenly dropped 1,000 points from current levels, caught long the above stocks? I suppose I could tell my clients “hey, those stocks were awesome, just prior to their demise.” The bottom line, as much as it pains me to miss out on the fun, I have a fiduciary responsibility to be cautious, when valuations get out of whack. Moreover, with year to date gains close to 28% (down from 40%), I am better off waiting, than playing with the proverbial nuclear tipped Jack in the Box.