Oprah Always Wins: Weight Watchers Is No Exception

In what will go down as the quarter where it all changed, Weight Watchers International is laying waste to shorts after posting a modest earnings beat. WTW has a huge short float, way up at 74.87% according to Exodus. These bastard short sellers are up against Oprah “give me a 10% stake” Winfrey, and according to this vanilla Reuters article, said bearshitters doubled down on shorts after the Oprah news.

These drunken degenerates are rage betting against media juggernaut Oprah, who took $49 million personal dollars and procured stock certificates in a business that targets women ages 22-40. Like really mutha fucka?  You think you have a chance?  Their blindness is not even a tragedy.

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Speculate where you specialize and the moment someone bigger than you bets the other way get out. I imagine some pencil-dicked hedge fund manager sitting atop his cloud of spreadsheets declaring the value of Weight Watchers “absurdly expensive” relative to stupid shit Nutrasystem. He has posters of Brett Favre on his office walls, wearing Wrangler jeans whilst children wrestle him to the ground.

Fuck that guy and his pervert office. Oprah is going to nail his loins to the wall.

Weight watchers goes higher.