Off to See Dunkirk Again

I had a rather uneventful afternoon of meetings, bookended by snacks. I started off the day with the darkest, most thickest, coffee you’ve ever seen in your life. I dubbed it ‘the most evil cup of Joe these northern lands have ever seen’ before sipping it.

I had an early lunch, which consisted of a dozen veggie sushi rolls — and then it dawned on me: I really, truly, don’t care about dietary restrictions, animals, or even debilitating illnesses. Then why on earth am I punishing myself to fetter out my days as a lowly weak vegan? Already I am able to see the effects of a meatless diet. My bench has been halved, my gut doubled, and my overall health is very meek and meager — a ham and egger lifestyle if I’ve ever seen one. I shot over to the local grocer, being all rebellious and shit, and purchased a gateway meat: tuna steaks and some smoked salmon.

When I got home, I ate half the package of salmon, which was marinated in herbs and vodka. I then made myself a faggot milkshake of chocolate almond milk, banana, and a spoonful of peanut butter.

I saw Dunkirk for the first time in theaters the other day and was dumbfounded by it. As many of you know, I consider myself to be a foremost expert in the cinema arts, having dedicated two full years of frantic viewership of all the greats — consuming information on a scale that could only be described as ‘industrial.’

Dunkirk was, by far, the finest war film ever made.

What it lacked in gripping dialogue, it made up for, and more, in an atmospheric setting which is without peer.

I am heading out to see it again soon, just to confirm what I thought I had witnessed the other night: a once in a generation display of cinematic greatness.

The futures are opening soon. I’m expecting MOAR gains and have a general idea what I’ll be doing next week. My health is still poor, and my head is whirring with a drunken dizziness that only stops when I sleep.

No one cares about the national anthem, unless you live down south — where true patriotism lives. The ironic part about southern patriotism is that they’re loyal to a flag and a nation that laid waste to their people during the civil war.

Psyops had a profound effect on them.

Post President Trump’s public shaming of those NFL players ‘taking the knee’ during the anthem — now everyone is taking the knee. There’s some MLB player who was born inside of a base taking the knee, as well as the entire Pittsburgh Steelers team opting out of the whole business.

I’m sure there’s more — but I really don’t care that much about it.

Let’s craft a new anthem, and hire Hans Zimmer to write it. I favor this score, haunting tunes juxtaposed with a little time bomb ticking action.

Off to run some chores. See you later, gator.

You’re eating dinner with your lovely family. There’s a giant turkey in the middle of the table, perfectly brown, adorned with edible flowers. The incandescent light bulbs warmly light the room at dusk, setting a pleasant mood in an otherwise normal late Sunday afternoon.

“Margaret, will you please pass the dairy free butter?”

“Certainly, dear. Is there anything else that I could do for you?”

You hear a subtle, yet distinctive, knock on the front door — almost like little birds pecking away at the heavy teak. You place your dinner napkin on the right side of your plate, and walk towards the front door. Almost reaching the doorknob, you look back at your wife for a moment who has an oddly blank look upon her face, as if she was frozen in time — when the entire door is kicked off its hinges, with the force of a Rhinosaurus, crashing into your 14th century Chinese pottery that was once the mantle piece of your entrance foyer.

In comes a man of extreme bulk and brawn, a terrible looking visage is scribbled upon his face by a maker who could only emanate from hell itself.

Your wife, scared for her life and the kids, makes a quick escape with little Johnny and Gretchen, out the back door — leaving you all alone with this beast.

He grabs you by the collar, points his colt 45 pistol right into your nose. You could smell the gunpowder distinctly and get the sense the gun had recently been used to kill.

He says, “listen to me very quietly.”

“Yes, what is it, anything. Do you want money? I have some upstairs in the safe.”

“I don’t want your money, or your fancy things.”

“Well, what do you want? Name it.”

“I want your best stock pick and I want it right now.”

Go.

The problem with American politics is that the people demand to be entertained, as they feverishly engorge themselves with Nando, cheesed doodles, along with any number of strong narcotics and booze. More or less, much of America is populated by varmints, both new and old, perverted, slobbish people who festoon their living quarters with degeneracy and live out villainous lives.

Here’s Trump weighing in on NFL kneelers and how owners should deal with them.

Totally normal. pic.twitter.com/IHivq78IDF

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) September 23, 2017

Here is the full outburst.

The President has now entered the red zone in politics, messing with her favorite pastime — fool’s ball. Will this latest gambit pay off? Or, will an assault on the CIA’s favorite deflection be his downfall?

My personal opinion, not that it should mean more than anyone else’s, is that the President shouldn’t get up on stages, stumping for people with the last name ‘Strange’ — calling for multi-millionaire fools-ball players to be fired for kneeling during the anthem. Instead, he should’ve dispatched an Anthony Scaramucci type figure onto the public, cursing, using terms like ‘fughetiboutit’, to discuss this very important matter. This jester could’ve said all of the things Trump said, AND MORE, without sapping the office of the Presidency from whatever semblance of dignity it had left in it. For the sake of the nation, and for our cherished institutions, being back the court jester. We’ve already brought back other fine institutions, like family monarch and the aristocracy, feudal lords, and clandestine forms of slavery — why not this?

It feels good being back in the saddle, throwing bowling balls at you misfits in the alley, blocking the pastoral backdrop. I booked the gains in XIV, segued them over to BEDU — because the Chinese are good at school. By the end of the trading session, my gains redoubled and redoubled again.

Here's me responding to the closing price of my $BEDU position. pic.twitter.com/m9hKhKdyXj

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) September 22, 2017

You can try to stop this train that I’ve created for myself — but it will only get you killed. Like a frozen rope dangling from a broken crane — you’re entirely useless.

I’ve had good times around these parts for a decade plus. During that time I’ve been gracious to all of my readers, offering treats and special stories for their entertainment. All of that has ended today. From now on, you’re my entertainment. I will now watch you make fools out of yourselves trying to stop me — a train traveling at speeds that defy the laws of physics.

You saw the markets march higher throughout the session. Bears are about to get their dicks cut off again, for the third time over the past year. They keep getting their penises reattached, only to be grabbed up and mugged again, placed inside the dick guillotine for expeditious chopping.

“The Fly” is heading out now — with money bags in tow.

I don’t think about Snapchat too often. I kind of chalked them up to the social media misfits, piled in with YELP, TWTR, GRPN and ANGI. My 20 year old son has been a great barometer of SNAP’s grasp on the minds of the youth and he’s been using it a lot less — opting more for Instagram. My youngest aren’t allowed to ever download the app, as I deem it now tantamount to contracting brain cancer during the school year.

Over the past week, SNAP’s shares have tumbled by another 10%. Over the past six month’s, SNAP has done nothing but pile losses atop of losses — down 37% over that period.

When does the stock become cheap?

At the present p/s valuations, it’s trading 27x sales. Is that cheap?

FB is 15x and TWTR is 5x, so I’m guessing no.

What if SNAP got cut in half again? That’d bring the PS down to around 13x present year. If we extrapolate their growth rate one year out, we can place their FPS at around 7x.

At $7, SNAP would be cheap, compared to FB, but still at a premium to TWTR. I suppose that’s fair, since TWTR is a poorly run company by zealots who lack zeal.

If forced to guess the bottom, I’d say somewhere between $7-10, based off current revenue estimates.

Now if you’re long SNAP here, why is that? Are you merely throwing mashed potatoes at the ceiling, hoping they don’t fall on your head? Just because a stock is hated, that doesn’t mean it’s a buy. You can’t invest based upon the actions of others. To suggest that Joe Schmo is a ‘contrary indicator’, therefore making your decision to counter him justified is plain stupid and would never be tolerated by any regulators.

Other than that, give me a few good catalysts that would make me want to own SNAP.

Why the hell not? You people are plowing money like mules into some fictitious digital currency that tracks every second of your life through something called ‘the blockchain.’ Why the fuck can’t I try my hand at a little CHINESE FUCKERY?

With the proceeds from my austere investment in XIV, I shoveled shit into my bedroom and now sleep with ticker symbol BEDU.

I am in bed with Chinese schooling, Bright Schools to be exact.

The way I figure, the Chinese are pretty darn good at school. This company seems to be adequate in ripping people off — offering parents false hope. Look at some of their recent graduates. They’re going to good foreign university.

The chart screams ‘where’s the condom’? This fucker is exploding with joy, doubling since it IPOd a short while ago. This thing is going up like a fucking song.

It’s pretty thinly traded. I can invite a few friends and neighbors over to the house today and push this thing up a few dollars between a few of us if I wanted to. My bet is for MOAR fuckery, MOAR gains, illogically pursuing greatness in the form of Chinese schools.

Here’s the description.

As of February 28, 2017, the Company had six international schools, which focus on internationally-accredited curricula and offer extracurricular activities and programs; 11 bilingual schools, which provide government-mandated curricula and developing students’ English proficiency; and 34 bilingual kindergartens, including 11 that deliver international curricula. As of February 28, 2017, the Company operated 51 schools.

Near term, my price target is $30. My urinal shadows, however, they think it breaks to $50 by November.

After doing some charting, I noticed that the spread between ‘lazy river sauntering’ vs ‘Nuclear War with N. Korea’ had blown out to record highs. With the VIX under $10, and me being up nice in XIV, I found little honor in holding over the weekend.

Booked the trade. It was a good one. Moving on.

JP Morgan’s Dimon doubled down on his criticism of bitcoin and other cryptos, all but promising it would end badly and suggesting that once it became a threat to governments, people would go to jail for aiding and abetting it.

Jamie Dimon's latest message for Bitcoinfags. You're going to jail. #BTC #ETH pic.twitter.com/OEqJKEvqL8

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) September 22, 2017

“It’s creating something out of nothing that to me is worth nothing,” he said. “It will end badly.”

Here is the full clip.

Naturally, he’s not against the blockchain, which is an oppressive government’s wet dream — being able to track every fucking transaction digitally. I don’t know how so many people got duped into believing the blockchain equated more freedom, when in fact every god damned thing is documented. Personally, I prefer to use cash — backed by the full faith and credit of the US military apparatus. The idea of storing my value in a currency that was created out of thin air and could be hacked and stolen by crafty Russians is beyond the pale for me.

Bitcoin is -5.2%, Etherum -6.7% and Bitcoin cash is -10.5%.

Often times, I’m in a rush and do not have time to prepare ‘good coffee’. There are very few things in life more rewarding than a good cup of coffee — the ephemeral experience of flavor, at the right temperature, that can literally change moods.

In recent years, I’ve become a student of coffee and could barista at any coffee house in America, having read a few books on the subject, toiling away in the kitchen to find what works best for me. A new challenge for me was being able to enjoy latte-type coffee without using dairy. The coconut creme in Trader Joe’s has the right consistency and sweetness to substitute milk, one of my favorite beverages on earth which is now explicitly banned — according to my new vegan religion.

I’ll run through my process, quickly — as I am dying to write about Jamie Dimon’s latest salvo at the bitcoin community.

Select the bean you like.

Personally, I like a dark roast, French mostly. I do not like the lighter roasts because they’re very acidic, fruity and have too much caffeine. Remember, the lighter the roast, the stronger the coffee. Most people believe darker roasts equate to more caffeine; but they’re wrong. During the roasting process, the darker the beans get, the more caffeine gets burned off.

Try to avoid ground coffee.

There is nothing better than grinding your own beans. If forced to use ground, be sure to store is in an air tight container or just drink the stuff as fast as possible. Do not sully yourselves with ground coffee, for the love of God. Also, when grinding the beans, do not grind for more than 3 seconds at a time. The heat from the blades can burn the beans and ruin your coffee.

Temperature

There are fanatics who take a thermometer to boiling water and the heating of the milk. Those people are lunatics. For the record, I haven’t done this in over 6 months. Bring the water to a ‘rolling boil’ for French Press brewed coffee. If doing a pour over, boil it a little longer — since the temperature will be reduced by the exposure to air. There are no other forms of coffee brewing that are acceptable.

Milk/Coffee blend

If you’re working with espresso, 1/4th espresso, 3/4ths milk make a latte. For a cappuccino, 50/50 split. If you do not have a high end espresso machine, buy one of those old school stove top ones that are found in every household in Italy. They might not produce crema — but they do make good espresso. For the record, I’ve produced crema using one — truly a rare feat. Back to the milk. Buy a frother that heats up the milk. They’re pretty cheap and bring the milk to the right temperature. If you’re doing it on the stove, you’ll ruin your pots or you’ll probably burn the milk, all but ruining an otherwise good cup of coffee.

Microbubbles

For a good latte or Cafe Au Lait, you need to properly froth the milk to create ‘micro-bubbles.’ This is the texture needed to lather in a thick, almost glue-like, milky substance into the black. If you’re winging it with cheap equipment, simply pour the milk into a french press and jerk it for solid 15 seconds, or until the volume of the liquid doubles.

Pour

After brewing in the French press for 6 minutes, fill half a cup of coffee and the other half with frothed milk, which you patiently left to sit for a few minutes. You do not need sugar, since the frothed milk is sweet and you’re not a 5 year child in need of sweets.

Drink and enjoy.