iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,419 Blog Posts

WINSHIP RAINS DOWN UPON YOU LIKE A STORM OF ONE THOUSAND HURRICANES

It feels good being back in the saddle, throwing bowling balls at you misfits in the alley, blocking the pastoral backdrop. I booked the gains in XIV, segued them over to BEDU — because the Chinese are good at school. By the end of the trading session, my gains redoubled and redoubled again.

You can try to stop this train that I’ve created for myself — but it will only get you killed. Like a frozen rope dangling from a broken crane — you’re entirely useless.

I’ve had good times around these parts for a decade plus. During that time I’ve been gracious to all of my readers, offering treats and special stories for their entertainment. All of that has ended today. From now on, you’re my entertainment. I will now watch you make fools out of yourselves trying to stop me — a train traveling at speeds that defy the laws of physics.

You saw the markets march higher throughout the session. Bears are about to get their dicks cut off again, for the third time over the past year. They keep getting their penises reattached, only to be grabbed up and mugged again, placed inside the dick guillotine for expeditious chopping.

“The Fly” is heading out now — with money bags in tow.

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9 comments

  1. cancel19

    Wow! Nice trades there Dr. Fly.

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    • Dr. Fly

      Would tell a lion ‘nice eat’, after seeing him devour a weak zebra?

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      • acehood

        Lions eat meat.

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        • Dr. Fly

          Yes, lions are also fucking idiots and have yet to invent the wheel.

          Humans are the true apex alpha predator. I would skin you alive and then rob your refrigerator of all its carrots had you said that to my face.

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          • uglyflint

            Too much cough syrup and cold flu medication. I could knock you over with my Johnnie Walker Black Label breath.

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  2. moneybagz

    #FakeNews

    I’m not in tow.

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  3. moosh

    All that and remaining a humanitarian. Impressive sir fly. Any scrub vegetarian off the street would have taken the FIZZ dranks too and watch the human lion wannabe die a very long slow parched death

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  4. heaterman

    Herr Fly, the IBC app on my phone has ceased functioning.
    I deleted and have searched for the official version to no avail. A handful of google related garbage related to your site is all that appears on a duckgo scan of the webs.
    Could you share the correct address?

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  5. heaterman

    Going back to J D’s comment on crypto’s here
    “It’s creating something out of nothing that to me is worth nothing,” he said. “It will end badly.”

    That sounds like every other fiat currency in existence.
    Difference being, BitCoin et.al., have no guns.

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