iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,853 Blog Posts

YOU’VE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE BY GUNPOINT, FORCED TO GIVE ONE STOCK PICK

You’re eating dinner with your lovely family. There’s a giant turkey in the middle of the table, perfectly brown, adorned with edible flowers. The incandescent light bulbs warmly light the room at dusk, setting a pleasant mood in an otherwise normal late Sunday afternoon.

“Margaret, will you please pass the dairy free butter?”

“Certainly, dear. Is there anything else that I could do for you?”

You hear a subtle, yet distinctive, knock on the front door — almost like little birds pecking away at the heavy teak. You place your dinner napkin on the right side of your plate, and walk towards the front door. Almost reaching the doorknob, you look back at your wife for a moment who has an oddly blank look upon her face, as if she was frozen in time — when the entire door is kicked off its hinges, with the force of a Rhinosaurus, crashing into your 14th century Chinese pottery that was once the mantle piece of your entrance foyer.

In comes a man of extreme bulk and brawn, a terrible looking visage is scribbled upon his face by a maker who could only emanate from hell itself.

Your wife, scared for her life and the kids, makes a quick escape with little Johnny and Gretchen, out the back door — leaving you all alone with this beast.

He grabs you by the collar, points his colt 45 pistol right into your nose. You could smell the gunpowder distinctly and get the sense the gun had recently been used to kill.

He says, “listen to me very quietly.”

“Yes, what is it, anything. Do you want money? I have some upstairs in the safe.”

“I don’t want your money, or your fancy things.”

“Well, what do you want? Name it.”

“I want your best stock pick and I want it right now.”

Go.

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45 comments

  1. The Maven

    Smith and Wesson?

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  2. dmfracer

    I hate stocks. But would go with $AMZN.

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  3. dmfracer

    Or $RACE for something more original. If Ferrari leverages their brand and does some more normal people cars they will double again. (Think Porsche Cayenne and Macan.)

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  4. moosh

    I knew it, already thinking about your turducken on that great and gloriously thankful day.

    Obviously, I would tell that faggot to buy CMG and to eat there every day as a matter of fact

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  5. wordofmaoth

    DWDP

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  6. ironbird

    When throwing ice dice. One should not speak up. But with that damn gun. Possibly Autos with the Harvey fraud used car psyop happening. All used cars have been flooded in Houston and will be sold to you.

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  7. salda

    $EXAS
    Cologuard is the first noninvasive screening test for colorectal cancer that analyzes both stool DNA and blood biomarkers and has been proven to find 92 percent of cancers and 69 percent of the most advanced precancerous polyps in average risk patients. Cologuard, which is available through healthcare providers, offers people 50 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer an easy-to-use screening test they can do in the privacy of their own home.

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  8. rahagar

    BABA and BZUN a close second

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  9. top-o-the-mark

    Dear husband, just a little more TLT to get us through silly season, don’t you think?
    Signed,
    Your fake wife, Margaret

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  10. soupbone

    BP

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  11. green machine

    GRMN

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  12. goldwing

    NTNX.

    your not providing a time frame doesn’t make it easy. Assume hot .45 caliber lead in ear within 24 hrs.

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  13. badduck

    $DRYS of course. Fuck is wrong with you people.

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  14. felonyfinance

    $NAK. Gonna be my first 100 bagger

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  15. metalleg

    First I would say, “Heckler is that you? No? Bennyhill?”

    Then, if it was confident that I ruled them both out, I would say to the gunman, “if you shoot me, you’ll never get that stock pick you are so desperate for so I suggest you put the gun down. Then, I would quickly reach down to my holster to grab my smart phone, tap the iBankCoin icon on my home screen and hand him my phone.

    I would finish the episode by saying, “you don’t need to do this. You need Exodus.”

    And they all lived happily ever after.

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  16. itinerant

    Trades: X or ATI if they hit oversold levels next week.
    Long term: EGO, company is making progress with permitting European projects.
    I think we could see European equities out perform for the next few years and gold is likely to stay in its current range for the next couple years.
    Short: Considering a few semiconductor equipment manufacturers.

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  17. tmmdn0

    XIV.
    Very disappointed to see that you sold your position, Dr. Fly.
    I’ve been trading this thing exclusively for some time now. It’s obvious to me that the FED and monetary authorities from other countries will absolutely keep equity markets elevated forever. This is job #1.
    Do you think the FED is going to let the multitudinous government and corporate pension funds go broke? They will absolutely continue to buy /TF and /ES every fucking morning and night until little rocket man puts us out of our misery.
    XIV is going to 100 and beyond. Just buy on the next dip and hold, hold, hold.

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  18. bob smith

    As unpopular as my pick is, it is gonna make me a loot. TAHO. Easy double if gold stays where it’s at. If gold goes up, it’s a 5 bagger… minimum.

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  19. 99 lead balloons

    EDV a gold miner in west africa. just announced a new mine.

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  20. nial

    Did you just watch The Friends of Eddie Coyle?

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  21. wolfdaddy

    OLED- $1000 in a few years as this tech becomes mainstream

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  22. aj

    $ADBE

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  23. no_logic

    $FMSA

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  24. dp909rev

    $MGTI, the crypto craze is just getting started.

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  25. sweetbillyv

    GILD needs to rip!

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  26. prometheus

    Olde Fly favourite: MVIS – cash in bank, no debt, three new engines, two new Chinese smartphones (Voga V & Qualper) with built-in laser projectors, increased institutional ownership.

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  27. masteroneass

    Too easy. 3M

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  28. fxtradepro

    PYPL

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  29. bigtymer8

    $FIVE

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  30. lesurgeon

    Short term I choose. $YY
    With Little bit of time, I choose $HA, if I can get it a little closer to $35.
    Long term. $DIS

    Now, Can we fix the fucking App already? I had to log onto desktop just to see what was going on…

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  31. bushwacker2

    $SHOP, because some things never change.

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  32. heckler

    I still like YUMC. How can serving KFC and actual burritos not make shitloads of grubby Chinese water at their little yellow mouths?

    If I lived in a trash heap industrial wasteland prison factory that would probably be the best part of my day.

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  33. ferd

    SSNLF

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  34. cancel19

    $ARNA buy it, store it away and thank me later.

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  35. mrcharlie

    KTOS with CORT a close second:)

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  36. awanka

    I like AAPL here.

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  37. momsen92

    BABA BIDU TCEHY
    One of these will return 10000% in 10 years (maybe all 3)

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