Tomorrow Will Be a Punch Your Face Off Rally

This is what life is all about. Work really hard with really smart people, make a fortune, enjoy the summers amidst champagne cocktails and views of the ocean.

There isn’t a better stock trader in the entire world than me, believe me. You’d be wise to align yourself with a space alien magician (SAM), such as myself.

Futures are sharply higher and my mood is light and gay (no homo). I ingested 5gs of creatine and have been drinking water all afternoon long. I’ll be heading to the gym before midnight, in order to lift and rip apart my muscles, so bigger ones can replace them.

Tomorrow morning, I have to do a few errands, and then it’s all stock market for me — blue skies and purple dinosaurs. Nothing can stop me. You’ll see.

Fuck the stock Gods.

It was a good bounce day, but let’s not make a mountain out of a molehill. I took losses in ARRY and bought UXIN, which went straight down on me. My hedges, SRTY and LABD, closed lower — and my SPOT had a bad day. Other than that, everything was green and I made a lot of coin in HUBS, ZEN and a sundry of other stocks.

Let’s put the rally into perspective. It’s a blip on the screen.

I’m positioned for a rally, with just 10% of my money short and 5% cash. With the amount of high beta software stocks I’m holding now, the hedges are almost meaningless.

Over in my Quant, it was higher by 85bps. We’re heading into the birthday of America. I find it incredibly hard to believe we fade here, into a weekend filled with bottled rockets and Budweiser can parties.

Markets are really strong today and it’s business as usual in SAAS land. The past two weeks have been somewhat ruinous for the sector, following what was perhaps the single best run in years. But now we’ve come to a cross in the roads and you all have to decide where stocks go next.

Here is my SAAS watchlist in Exodus. Many of these stocks I’ve been buying, including ZUO. I just bought that shit like 10 minutes ago.

Even after today’s lift, the average loss of 13% over the past two weeks, making this sector buyable for anyone in search of dips.

On a separate note, I’m keeping my hedges in place — just in case.

Cash is down to just 5%.

Markets are doing precisely what I expected. My LABD is sprinting higher and more or less my longs are okay. So, capturing the spirit of all of the Wall Street gamblers before me, I stepped in and bought some UXIN.

UXIN is a piece of shit Chinese IPO that just came public; and because it was priced during a very bad day in the markets, it didn’t get to stretch its legs. Ergo, I stepped in and bought some today.

Is it possible that this too could lead to a disastrous drawdown?

Not possible.

Also, I am now down to just 10% cash, perhaps a foolhardy position all things considered. But I have those SRTY and LABD hedges working overtime for me. Nothing is able to stop me, frankly, so don’t even try to get in my way.

I absolutely love this job. I’m like a financial detective trying to solve cases every day. If you’ve been doing this shit long enough, you know all of the scenarios and the motivations of the people you’re investigating.

Case in point: futures were up last night and I knew it meant absolutely nothing. Why? Because greedy investors got caught flat footed, leveraged to the hilt, and now they’re being liquidated. Simultaneously, the cynics amongst you always demand major flush outs before heading back higher. It’s just one of those nonsensical things that Wall Street believes in, sort of like hoping to get cancer first, before making a full recovery from the common cold.

So now you have all of these technicians and strategists prancing around Wall Street advising clients to remain defensive until some major showdown between the bulls and the bears takes place, leaving scores dead on the battlefield of speculation.

Meanwhile, I’ll be here watching the whole thing unfold, throwing roasted almonds at them.

This is what I’m going to do today, so listen to me very quietly.

I am going to book profits on my fucking inverse ETFs and then I’m going to take said cash and leave it there, drink a fuckload of coffee, eat a few sandwiches, laugh and make fun of everyone on the internets. And then, once the smoke clears and the last pleb is liquidated from his margined positions, I am going to buy the blood and profit from the pain of others.

I’m conflicted, as you can tell by the headline. On one hand, it is my utmost desire to see stocks die and the country burn 10,000 deaths for being so gravely stupid. All of the people who’ve presided over the ruinous fiscal malfeasance should be drawn and quartered.

On the other, I want the melody to continue and the waltz to commence. I enjoy the rarified air and the perfumed scents of the finer people; and I laugh and mock those on the outside looking in, as they peer into our world with murder in their eyes. During a different part of my life, I was on the outside looking in. I too wanted to kill and maim all of you — but now I’m beholden to nothing but the bottom line, and of course the confines of iBC and Exodus and the people who are loyal to me.

That said, the recent drawdown has been severe, almost deleterious, for the tech sector.

A few things to consider.

The Application Software overbought/oversold oscillator is very oversold now, implying the SAAS sector is overdue a bounce.

The overall market indicator IS NOT oversold, implying we might have further to fall.

The recent losses in the tech sector have definitely produced some margin calls. Because of this, any rallies should be suspect for about a week. These rallies will be used to liquidate positions and that could lead to a series of frustrating failed rallies, circa 2014.

Nasdaq futures are +20 now and that means absolutely nothing.

The 2-10 yield curve is flat as shit now, just 32 bps. Meanwhile, the Trump-world trade war resumes, uninterrupted, all the while oil careens higher at a time when it’s supposed to drop.

These negative drop backs, coupled with the overheated nature of the small capped rally, has led us here — absolute bloodshed and carnage, and also more bloodshed.

I lost gobs of money in CBLK, DOCU, MDB, and HUBS. I even lost money in the old man stocks I bought today. Everything was lower and the pin action was so dreary, I ended up diving into both SRTY and LABD as a hedge against my rapidly declining stocks.

Into tomorrow, I am 15% cash, hedged with SRTY, LABD, 3 old man stocks, and a partridge and a pear tree.

Completely fucked.

Meanwhile VIXfags rejoice. The world is upside down.

It’s bloody murder out there — massive reversal in market has people leaning sideways and heading down hard. I added another hedge here, buying LABD — because fuck biotech. One of my stocks just got FDA approval and the shares still went lower.

Nothing can stop the prophecy of the Four Horsemen now. It’s all hands on deck. Raise some cash and/or hedge your positions, else you’ll be scrubbing the bathroom floors soon — after you shit your pantaloons.

They barely beat on the top and bottom lines.

National Beverage reports FY18 EPS $3.19 vs $3.16 single analyst estimate; revs +18% to $976 mln vs $975.52 mln Capital IQ Consensus

Is the La Croix infused rally over for FIZZ, or are sellers retarded for absconding with their shares? It should be noted, I sold at $106, like a gentlemen of extreme quality.

It’s also noteworthy to see valuations are at reasonably high levels, not too absurd.

Shares are enduring broken elevator trading action, as are most momo names. Today is a rueful day for stock longs. Men who bought “up stocks” are ten times dumber today than yesterday.

Markets are in spiral mode here and I feel like a fucking serial killer in on my tail, trying to murder me and my stocks. I broke loose of BOX today, a crowd favorite, at an 11.5% loss. All of the stocks I bought yesterday are lower, DOCU sharply lower.

There isn’t much recourse for me, other than to sell and raise cash or hedge. I did a little of both, in addition to buying 3 old man stocks; but those aren’t holding up either.

I hedged some of my longs with a SRTY long position. Truth is, everything I do is futile. Markets are destined to drop and fall hard, amidst rumors of trade wars and actual trade wars.

The Nasdaq is -60 and I am 20% cash. I suppose I’ll stick around and wait for Exodus to flash OS, before getting really aggressive. Until then, I remain a prisoner in these downward spiraling stocks, hoping for perdition to end.