Come See Me Do Something Stupid — Like Buy a Stock Back 27 Points Higher From Where I Sold It Last

On July 26th, 2018, I sold APPF a touch over $67, booking a 3 point profit. The trade languished and took 9 days to complete, far too long for a top hatted gent such as myself.

Fast forward to today, I stepped in and bought APPF, the same stock that offered me little bounty last go around, for $90.35. I did so because I’m interested in $100 rolls now. I’d buy TEAM too, but felt this one would be more comical, considering how much lower I sold it.

Why should I care if the stock is higher from where I sold it? I couldn’t care two fucks about, one way or another.

With today’s hundy roll purchases, I am truly out of cash, in the streets, broke — fucked forked radish.

I had identified GWRE two days ago sub $100 and said it would trade to $106 in short order. It did exactly that today. I am buying UBNT now — because it too will run to $106 in short order. If it doesn’t, I’ll literally cut my own head off — gladly too.

After I executed the UBNT order, I was informed that one of my dogs went missing — the really dumb one. I’m not allowed to call the dog dumb, of course, because it might hurt her feelings. It seems only I know that the dog is, in fact, too god damned dumb to understand what anyone is saying to her, let alone an insult like the word ‘dumb’.

After a good ten minutes looking for her in my fenced in yard, I started to think she dug under the fence and into the brush beyond. As a pup, she had done this before — forcing me to give chase in the tick infested tall grass — dodging over large branches and stepping in deep sticky mud.

Then I heard her bark — but it sounded from within the woodshed. With the door being shut, I knew she was stuck underneath. I hemmed and hawed in a flaccid attempt to cajole her to come out — but she couldn’t muster the cognitive skills to pivot around and crawl out from under. Instead, she barked and barked and barked, and hit her head on the wood beams above. Frantically, I grabbed some tools and began digging a deep hole at the foot of the shed — falling victim to a wide array of insects gnawing at my slippered feet and bare legs.

The dirt was too thick and I tried option B — destroy the plywood from inside. I grabbed a hammer and produced a hole in it, only to be told that the noise I had made might be injurious to the poor dog, who must’ve been stuck beneath because of intellectual prowess, perhaps there to save another animal from this plight.

I stood there, filthy in mud and itching from the spiders, the ticks, and the mosquitoes, and figured I’d grab a drill and I’d produce small holes in the plywood and then pry it open with a fucking clawhammer. As I stepped onto the deck to go inside the house, our wonderful dog had figured out an escape rout and was very safe, albeit very dirty and definitely still dumb.

After a dog bath and gentle blow drying and paper toweling, she then proceeded to belly skate throughout the house in an attempt to fully dry.

FML, seriously.

NOTE: I am long PETQ — because dogs are better and more important than humans.

This isn’t an opinion based upon a gut feeling. Only rusticate rubes base their investment ideas on such folly. I will present some statistical facts now, courtesy of Exodus.

The overall tech sector isn’t expensive on a price to sales scale.

The best performing industry in tech, Application Software, isn’t expensive either.

Lastly, and it’s important that you understand this, the SAAS sector is growing in excess of 15% per annum. Very soon, Wall Street will begin pricing in very predictable 2019-2020 sales expectations in an industry roaring with growth.

If you’re not buying stocks — you are the biggest fool in the world. Might as well become a beer salesman and drink yourselves into oblivion.

I woke up this morning and decided upon a very masculine breakfast — because I’m a man and that’s what men do.

I whipped out my french press, violently boiled some water, tossed some coffee beans into a grinder and produced some ground coffee. I then took said coffee and placed it inside the french press and then splashed some water inside of it and let it brew for exactly 6 minutes.

Looking around the kitchen for something to eat — I grabbed the first thing I saw — a banana. I then took some leftover bacon that my kids had left 15 minutes prior and some crunchy peanut butter in the pantry and slathered some on the banana, and then sprinkling bacon atop of it like the Salt Bae — only much cooler and with more grace.

I then took my black coffee and my banana mess and sat down and began to write this stupid post.

Early going, futures are higher. Pot stocks look strong, based on this news.

Tilray receives necessary regulatory permits in Canada and Germany to export medical cannabis flower for distribution to German patients (104.95)

The export of Tilray’s whole flower medical cannabis products will make Tilray the first and only medical cannabis company with a differentiated product offering of both full-spectrum oils and whole flower, including some of the highest potency products available in the German medical market. More details on how patients in Germany can access Tilray’s whole flower products will be released later this year.

The BOE left rates at 0.75% and Turkey hiked to 24%.

Any questions?

Good. Now let me eat my banana.

Chinese stocks have never been more distressed than now. This includes the financial crisis, the Chinese currency crisis and everything else in between. This oscillator in Exodus measures stress levels for all Chinese stocks and the implications can be staggering.

The downside to this trade idea is the stocks in the sector are wrought with pain and upside resistance. The upside is sheer fucking lunacy.

My favorite ideas are JG, BILI, IQ, and HUYA — the usual.

The top ranked in Exodus are CEO, SECO, SNP, ZLAB, and BILI.

Top chicoms by Sharpe: HLG, GDS, FANH, and BGNE.

When I was an idiot stockbroker in NYC, we used to buy stocks on the cusp of breaking the magical $100 plane — because once it did it would almost immediately ‘roll’ to $106. It was dubbed the “Hundred Dollar Roll.”

I’d like to take credit for this vernacular on Wall Street, as I know I invented it. However, I am sure there are some of you fucktards out there who believe you did. Whatever the reason, this seems to work again and again.

Yesterday I bought GWRE under $100 and today I sold it for almost $103. It was, quite honestly, the easiest money I ever made — literally stealing money from men in wheeled chairs who are also sleeping.

Yesterday I had the idea of only buying stocks at $95+ heading towards $100 just to prove a point to you. Then I remembered I have nothing to prove and that would be unwise.

With the proceeds, I bought BE. That stock is poised and destined for higher prices. If it doesn’t I’ll retire from blogging and run throughout the green fields of Romania naked.

I had a real life discussion with a person about dogs and how she thought they were ‘better’ than humans. She pointed out all of the horrible things humans did and then juxtaposed it against dogs running with their tongues hanging out, slobbering against the green fields in search of joy. I then described a world without humans and tried to convey the point that dogs, mind you, haven’t invented the wheel yet and that they were ‘stupid animals’, albeit sweet and charming.

This debate led to me being described as a modern day Hitler, a hater of animals and for that, ironically, I should be killed. I then said “dogs are inherently very stupid and cannot treat the flu with antibiotics — because they haven’t set up an Institute of Science yet.”

This comment was once against met with revulsion, because dogs are cute, fluffy, and interesting creatures to pet when we have idle time.

There’s a small company named PET IQ and the ticker symbol is PETQ and they profit off the ‘humanization’ of dogs — because animals are more important than humans and deserve to rule over the planet in order to save it from the scourge of mankind.

As an aside, once humans die off, dogs will be too stupid to make dog food — so PETQ will go bankrupt.

I just booked a 10.1% profit on CLF, a stock I had purchased on September the 5th, 2018. If you annualize that return you can plainly see why I consider myself to be the greatest trader alive. There isn’t anyone remotely close in this galaxy.

With the proceeds, I intend to clean up my act and buy something environmentally friendly, such as a plastics company or maybe something to do with semis, or software, or nothing at all. They do say abstinence is the best form of birth control. You can’t fuck yourself if you don’t partake in the game, believe me.

The Nasdaq is soft and Jamie Dimon is smarter than Trump. All is good in the world and if you follow my trades closely, and very quietly, you too can be a great trader.

I used the balance of my cash reserves to catch a falling knife, executing an order to buy JG. It’s a foolish thing to do in September, especially with the Chinese stocks barreling lower. But they’re at the ass-end of the trading range and I don’t give a shit.

In the midst of all the confusion, supernatural storms racing towards N. Carolina’s research triangle, Le Fly is doing okay long his pastiche of colorful stocks. My K and CLX are behaving defensive and CLF is ushering in a new era of blackened coal to be placed inside every home.

My GWRE is hundy rolling to $106, and life is fine.

This JG trade will work — because it’s new and also because any semblance of treaty talks with N. Korea will be inferred to be bullish on China trade talks.

There are a handful of really good moments of enjoyment in this life. One of them is taste, the ritualistic moments when a person can sit down and really enjoy the food in front of him. Some of you lean sideways into retardation, gobbling down greasy foods like beer swilling idiots. Others only eat dietary foods, salads, steamed fish, veggies — fuck yourselves.

Le Fly has experienced all forms of diets, from gluten free, to vegan, to pescatarian, dairy free, to zero carb horseshit. Without question, the very best diet is one without restrictions — eat what you want when you want it. If this entails wolfing down an entire pumpkin pie during the Fall, so be it. As fate should have it, I’ve been partaking in such a task this week.

Being the only gent at House Fly who cares for the wonderful flavors of Autumn in a pie, I find myself diving into it more and more — dumping a trowels worth of whipped cream atop of it. Truth be told, I view pumpkin pie as a dealbreaker of sorts, the singular food item that can forever link me to you or vice versa. Persons who do not enjoy it are forever tarnished in my mind — relegated to the trash heap of society.

Here’s an interesting question.

Do you eat your pumpkin pie with milk or coffee? Personally, I could go either way. Dairy free non-milkFAGS get the rope, so don’t step to me with your almond or cashew shit.