Good Morning, I Killed Ten Bees IN MY HOUSE This Morning

How are you?

I couldn’t sleep much last night, mulling over the sundry of new plagues that plague me. I ordered a pressure switch that is needed for my washer. I will soon attempt to fix the washer myself, which will likely lead to my electrocution or drowning.

While ordering this part this morning, I swatted 10 bees before I had my first cup of coffee. This is STANDARD PROCEDURE at House Fly now — as the bees have nested nicely inside my laundry room door and make it a point to stop by to be fucking murdered by my own hand. I don’t know how they’re getting it. I siliconed it from the outside and taped the door shit, sealed the fuck up; but, alas, they still find their way in. I even unloaded an entire can of Raid on their stupid bee heads and they just sort of laughed at it and pretended like nothing happened.

It looks like futures are higher, so that’s good news. I’m a bit distracted today, but will be scouring the market, scouring mind you, for new, young, opportunity.

My house is still being swarmed by bees. The fuckers have made a nest in the door outside and are finding their way into the laundry room and wreaking motherfucking havoc. I’ve been in the room slapping the shit out of them with a swatter, daring them to sting me. With the other hand, I’ve been vacuuming them into my handheld, laughing the entire fucking time.

Also, my piece of shit Kenmore washer machine broke, just in time to find out my warranty just expired. Every year a major appliance breaks — because they suck and they’re made in dog-eating motherfucking China.

I have three options with the machine.

1. Attempt to fix it myself, which will undoubtedly end in disaster. I am a useless wrench in the house.
2. Call a repairFAG to the house to rip me off for $300.
3. Buy a new piece of shit washer machine for $1,000.

Finally, something is dead in the woods adjacent to my house — maybe a deer, maybe a human. The grass is tall and the wildlife is wild, so I haven’t the inclination to find out what’s going on. All I know is the outdoors are uninhabitable near my house, as the stench of rotting flesh perfumes the sky with its rancid motherfucking decay.

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Live by the Sharpe, die by it.

Futures are lower this evening on more good and fun trade war news.

With the extra funds raised by these taxes, I hope Trump uses them to completely destroy Asia.

In case you’re wondering how high Sharpe stocks did today, lo and behold this fucked up fuckery.

High Sharpe’s hammered.

Low Sharpe’s, consisting of thousands of stocks, nothing.

Need a quick life hack to rotate out of stocks getting drilled? Low Sharpes.

I sold this last week for a loss. I just bought it back higher — because of the rumblings of newly minted cannabis laced iced-t, or something to that effect. This isn’t the next NFLX, but a trade, mind you, one forged in hell and spawned out into the public for mass consumption.

I rarely every squash a tax loss, but I think this gaps higher tomorrow. If I’m wrong, I’ll literally cut off my own head in the public square.

Cheers!

What the fuck are you scared of, losing a little money? Our beloved leader has told us ‘trade wars are good, and easy to win’. Why don’t you believe him and buy more?

After the close, it’s allegedly reported by the FAKE NEWS media that Trump will unleash another broadside into the helm of the Chinese nation. Without the US consumer, China will revert back to the rice paddies to live out the rest of history in irrelevancy. If they do not like it, we can always send our aircraft carriers there to teach them a lesson.

Truth be told, everything about this market is wrong — but we edge higher regardless. The time for panic is now. But the time for buying dips is soon. Be ready for a leg lower, followed by frenzied purchases by once famous hedge fund managers attempting to recapture a former glory.

As sad as it is and as gloomy as the truth stands firm, we cannot repeat the past. The things you did yesterday will forever be catalogued in the annuls of time and the things you’re doing now are forging a path to the future. You can choose to trailblaze ahead, changing with the times, or you can stand there watching others whir by, contemplating the halcyon days when your life was golden, flawless, and without malice.

If you’re interested in buying dips, you have to make a few assumption, the most important is the market will not change. The market we’ve enjoyed the past 3 months will continue and the dips will be shallow and the shorts weak. If, by change, the shorts gain verve and press the market’s stress points lower than recent history, plenty of dips buys will be castrated. Best way to hedge against this is to respect stops.

For me, NEWR embodies everything I want in a dip. It was running hot, now it’s cool. The algos in Exodus have it at oversold and the track record is splendid. If “this time is different”, NEWR will cascade lower and dips buys will be frayed by the fires. However, if this dip is transient, which we have no reason to believe it isn’t, NEWR is a buy around $100 back up towards $108.

Figure out what you might want to buy now and then execute orders without worrying about the downside. The time to worry about the downside is after you’ve purchased your stocks, not before.

Might I suggest a sandwich recipe?

Very well.

Take two pieces of white bread and place some ham and sliced gruyere on them. In a bowl, whip up an egg and heavy cream. Take a skillet and melt some butter in it, but not too hot unless the butter has been clarified. This will prevent browning. Take sandwich and dip it into the batter on both side and fry until brown.

If you want, take a poached or sunnyside over egg and dollop it on top.

Voila — thank me later.

Stocks are weak and all of the good companies are trading down. This could be the first of many down days, so you might as well sit back and enjoy the show. It seems only pot and dog food stocks are working for me today, with both CGC and PETQ green. I have cash, but it isn’t burning a hole in my hand. I am pleasantly amused by the catastrophe that is QTT and have opted to read some East of Eden while markets figure out what to do next.

I sold APPN for a 1.2% loss and NTNX for a 6.5% loss. I am feeling better seeing both NIO and QTT getting bludgeoned to death this morning. This is an important lesson for you all — respect those -10% stops. You should never let a loss exceed 10%, ever.

Bear in mind, I haven’t always been this stringent with losses. It’s something I’ve developed in recent years and feel that if I cannot control the amount of money that I lose in a stock, I shouldn’t be trading at all. Might as well do long term stuff only and dollar cost average. But since I like to trash, the swashbuckling adventure of it all, I respect my stops with biblical adherence.

With my 25% cash, I am tempted to hedge, but then I remembered trade wars are fun and easy to win. Seeing that gold and silver are leading, I doubt the market is in much trouble here. Sure, rates are elevated above 3.1% and the world is ending, but it really isn’t.

I’ll control my losses on the way down and keep a close eye on some great SAAS stocks that ran by me; but other than that, I very much doubt I’ll adopt a bearish position, especially since only losers short stocks.

If you’re taking 100% of your investable money and trading it, you’re a god damned idiot. No one can keep hot forever and eventually mood swings and basic human err will cause you to underperform. More importantly, the lifestyle of having to rely upon swing trades during rough tapes is absolutely depressing. You cannot expect to live a long time while trading stocks for a living. I’m sure my life has been greatly curtailed by my time in money management, which is why I’ve chosen to remain out, in spite of leaving a great deal of money in fees to be had.

Below is my Quant fund for September. The idea behind the Quant is to set parameters, based on fundamental analysis and some technicals, to automate a portfolio that will outperform the market. It is not designed to crush the market, although at times it does, but instead perform with the market and a little big better. Truth be told, it’s an experiment in progress and I believe it can be improved, as anything can always be improved, and I encourage all Exodus members to create their own quantitative methods themselves — using the tools I’ve given them and Gods good grace.

The portfolio is higher by 2.5% over the past two weeks, whilst the SPY is barely up. For a diversified portfolio of fundamentally sound companies, this is outrageous outperformance.

For the October portfolio and heading into Q4, I might adjust the Quant. Although I’ve refrained from doing so throughout the year, mainly to be consistent and transparent, I’ve concluded there might be a few tweaks worthy of meddling to increase the rate of return into the best months of the year.

I can’t tell a lie — my entire weekend was ruined by those fucking Chinese trades gone wrong. To blow off some steam, I went for a real long fucking bicycle ride this afternoon. I waited until the sun was at its peak and I made sure to go without any water. As I cycled and cycled as hard as I could, I only wished the entire trip could be uphill.

I ventured off into the Mercer Meadows park and gandered at the Pole Farm, the birth of modern telecommunications. Then I spit on the ground and cycled some more — thru the trees and into hazardous tall grass and rocks and dead trees — all child’s play for my bicycle. There was hardly anyone there — specifically because the entire park is open to hunters now who run around with their pistols and arrows, in search of game.

On the way back home I went mostly downhill, which meant 3rd gear as fast as I could muster, through the lights and whizzing past the slow people with their dogs. I had a drink of beer to recover and started to cook some food, cod and oven roasted lemon-pepper potatoes.

The beer batter was good — but the temperature of my oil was too low and the fish came out soggy. The potatoes were undercooked and my meal was less than milquetoast.

Now I’m drinking a cafe Americano, trying to get into an optimistic mood before bed, which will be in about 4 hours. I have a lot of reading to do — East of Eden, a western masterpiece of monumental importance.

I can see now this post was a gigantic mistake and a waste of time. I offered little entertainment, zero financial insight, and hardly anything that can help you other than to feel better about yourselves because I’m so miserable.

Futures are lower, but no one believes that’ll stick. I have high hopes for CGC, but nothing else, at least not now.

Cheers to a better tomorrow.