PANIC

Crash mode sequence initiated. This is the part when everyone gets sold on the idea that we really are gonna crash — because the new, oh, it’s so damned bad.

20% cash, lamenting a little for buying retail earlier today. Mistakes will be made, and often, in tapes like this.

Maxine Waters is going to be in charge of bank oversight. She’s a damned idiot. Trump’s trade war. Slowing growth in EM. Dollar. Crashing oil. Parabolic natural gas. Bitcoin is dead.

This is 2018.

Pray for warmer climes.

I have to be honest with you. I’m exhausted trading these fucking cloud stocks, chasing them into the sewer pipes, getting bit by rats, soiling myself for a few random pieces of silver. I want to live fat off the land, like Jeff Macke. That’s a person to look up to, simply living the American dream off the Pacific coast, getting heavy off tacos and hammed burgers, making coin, uninterrupted, in Santa Claus inspired plays.

An ordinary day for Jeff is moseying down to the local Target, which his father literally created, and see how things are placed — all nice and clean American living.

I want to be like Jeff. Ergo, effective immediately, I AM JEFF.

I sold out of this fucking bullshit LABU. It gave me nightmares and I hated it. I lost 12% in the damned thing. I also sold out of DOCU, another bowser.

With my cash reserves, which were 50% before I trans-morphed into Jeff, I bought CROX, OLLI, ROST, CVS, ZBRA, and DECK. Now my cash is 20% and I feel really good and my spirits are up and I’m rooting for consumers to spend their money.

To celebrate, I am heading over to WMT to look at their Xmas decorations.

DEVELOPING…

Be them.

Force harsh restrictions on vendors of heating oil. Brainwash Americans into believing natural gas is safe, in spite of it blowing up people’s homes and the exploration for it is toxic AF.

People love natural gas because coal is evil. Shit it dirt cheap and America is the Saudi Arabia of natural gas.

Big oil panics and shits their pantaloons.

Prices spike after Hurricane Katrina. Natural gas providers like CHK are the new shit. Exxon sucks.

Price collapses, natty gets clown punched lower for the next decade. CEO and founder of CHK crashes himself into a fucking brick wall and dies. NOT A SUICIDE!

Meanwhile, Exxon sops up natural gas properties like a motherfucker. They buy XTO for $41 billion.

Over in Europe, gas prices are expensive as shit and they get most of their supply from evil Russia.

Formulate a god damned plan.

Over in the US, people are formulating, figuring out ways to liquify our over-abundance of gas, in order to export it overseas. The very thing that keeps our prices low will be eliminated by this one invention.

We did it.

Cheniere makes first LNG shipment in 2016.

Build more homes. Put those fucking natural gas pipes in. Heating oil the fuck out.

Over in Europe, more hand wringing. Russia is so evil, we shouldn’t buy gas from them anymore. Problem is, we’ll all freeze to death.

Formulate a plan. We can get that fucking natural gas from Qatar — problem is Syria is in the god damned way.

Ah ha! DESTROY IT, take it over, and then build pipeline.

Plan fails. Gosh darn it.

LNG shipments from US really picking up steam. Every speculator in energy markets are short natural gas. Kill them via squeeze. Remove supply via LNG and bury them.

Ongoing.

What a bad trade. I had purchased TLRY the other day at $112 and it went to $140 the very same day. I didn’t sit there — I presided. Me and my big long face, presiding — gazing down on everyone, smugly, and chiefly. I walked with purpose and punched those in the mouth that had it coming. I was part of a drug cartel, an investor mind you, and I was seeking to destroy others who bet against me.

Yesterday earnings came out and they sold a lot of kilos, but it wasn’t enough. I just sold the stock for a 9.5% loss. Now I’m downtrodden and reminiscent of the days when I knew it all, the man with the long face kicking dirt at everyone else.

Markets are up, but they’re weak. I’m ~45% cash and feel like I need more. I feel like my stocks aren’t enough and that I either need to change them or add more. This is the type of thinking that gets people in trouble. The constant desire to do something is flawed thinking. Sometimes it is what it is — a bad day. Sometimes you should just eat a sandwich.

The good news my quant portfolio is +70bps.That’s where I keep most of my money. The bad news, I own DOCU, LABU, TMF, OKTA, and MOS — which are all down. My only saving grace, god damn it, is SOXL and even that is being a poor sport. This might be one of those days when everyone else is jumping rope in the sun, dressed clean and well, while I’m on the fence with my ripped jeans and mud stained shirt hating on everyone else for being beautiful and happy.

Long faced man signing out for now.

CAPSTONE PROGRAMME FAQs

What is the Capstone Programme designed to do?

It’s a rigorous and personalized service, conducted thru screen share technology, to coach, mentor, and educate members on a wide variety of financial topics. Focused mostly around structuring portfolios and trading for short term profits, Capstone endeavors to drill into members core competencies to help them become better investors.

Who is “The Fly” and will anyone else be involved with the educational aspects of the service?

“The Fly” is the founder of iBankCoin and popular market intelligence platform Exodus. He was a professional financial adviser for 18 years and is an avid collector of tears from his enemies. Much could be said about him, but first and foremost, he is the voice of a generation for finance and is read and enjoyed by only the very smartest and best people, believe me. Members of the Distinguished tier of Capstone will have access to “The Fly’s” rolodex, including iBankCoin staff and those loyal to their standard.

What topics will be covered?

This of course is a moving target, depending on customer requests. But this is what we have so far.

Identifying trends
Intra-day moves
Follow through
When to sell/buy
Averaging down vs up
Contrarian bets
Structuring portfolios, long/short term
Setting goals
Conference calls
What to look for in earnings reports
Calling up IR
Charts, price memory, algos
Value investing/value traps
Multiple expansion vs contraction
Economic cycle
Bonds/equities — when to buy
Dividend stocks
Quantitative models
Rotation
Cash is a position
Playing earnings/earnings misses
Catalyst driven trades
Executing trades/ limits vs market orders — pre-makret, after hours
Defensive stocks
ETFs
China
Retail landscape
Mega Caps/FAANG
GARP
Options/Futures
Technical vs fundamental analysis
Fads/Euphoria
Dystopian landscape
Managing moods/healthy habits
Shorting stocks
SHARPE
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Hot sectors and why
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Online resources — information

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Dependent upon schedule availability, yes. We have two tiers of the service, 1 and 3 hours per month. Theoretically, you can spend those hours in one sitting or throughout the month.

What if I only want one or two sessions?

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Can I “save time” for future use?

Members buy time and can allocate said time based on scheduling at iBankCoin and their discretion. If a member doesn’t feel the need to use their time during a given month, but doesn’t want to lose their place in the service, they can of course schedule saved time for future use.

What if I want to schedule a call, but do not have access to a computer?

We can do telephone too.

Can I get investment advice on my portfolio?

No. This is not designed to be investment advice. The Capstone Programme endeavors to teach members to learn how to invest on their own, without the assistance of financial advisors. We will consider our work a success when you cancel because you’re 100% confident to take on the market without trepidation.

There are zero reasons to buy. Looking at WTI -8% and all of the news, I am shaken to my core — literally shaken. However, I have large balls and truly do not care about losing all of my money. If I was poor and destitute, I’d still be miserable, so what’s the difference?

I bought some ROKU now — because the MUH chart and because I want some exposure to beaten down tech. All of these charts look the same. The mean reversion trade has died. I should know, being the owner of a system that has mean reversion tools. HOWEVER, we’re smart people, very wise, and filled with innovation. There is a hunger in us to create ways and systems to profit from this action. I will see to it that I win, one way or another. For now, the dollar is a hugely important to the sentiment of the market. This is why I’m still long TMF.

Hopium is a strong drug, an aphrodisiac even. Let’s see how we close and god willing tomorrow will bring greater fortunes. We are watching NVDA very closely and I’ll be monitoring the parade of data coming out of China soon. EM is important, but the stability in FX and commodity markets might be the tail that is wagging the dog.

Nevertheless, barreling into Turkey Day, I remain stoically optimistic for a bounce.

This shit is drifting in the wind now. WTI is off by a staggering 6% now.

One or two things come to mind with crude.

Price action is rigged. Some sort of deal with Trump and Saudi Arabia was reached due to Wapo journalist killing. But that might be a stretch.

Or, China is slowing much faster than we previously expected. There is no third option. Choose.

Interestingly, crude stocks are only down by 1-3%, as if this collapse isn’t happening now.

How did I miss this? Peter Navarro, director of trade and industrial policy, went fucking apeshit the other day over Wall Street’s meddling into Chinese trade relations, calling them ‘unregistered foreign agents.’

He went on about their interference and how it doesn’t serve the interests of the country. He even blamed Goldman Sachs and the globalists for the opioid crisis — saying because jobs were shipped overseas — people became fucking junkies.

No wonder why stocks have been getting hit.

Kudlow just offered a rebuttal to those comments, saying “He was not speaking for the president, nor was he speaking for the administration. “His remarks were way off base. They were not authorized by anybody. I actually think he did the president a great disservice.”