FUCK OFF

Happy Saturday lads.

There aren’t many people that I truly hate. These guys — fuckheads from San Francisco, Adam Bowen and James Monsees, took a product that was reviled for ruining lives and causing cancer and turned it into something cool — by targeting kids with a chic device that spit out flavored tobacco. The end result, a brand new generation of kids are addicted to nicotine. Upwards of 80% of high schoolers have vaped, and 50% of middle schoolers. My kids tell me that numbers seem legit and I believe them.

But they’re sorry — so please pardon them.

Juul CEO Kevin Burns said he would tell parents whose children are addicted to Juul’s e-cigarettes, “I’m sorry.”

Former FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb blames a teen vaping “epidemic” on Juul.

CNBC investigates the e-cigarette debate in a documentary called “Vaporized: America’s E-cigarette Addiction.”

Juul is 35% owned by Altria and now scheming to raise $10b, mostly overseas. Present valuation is upwards of $45 billion. Out goes big tobacco — in comes BIG VAPE. All of the doctors say vaping is SAFU, sponsored of course by BIG VAPE. This is like the 1950s with those commercials showing the preferred cigarettes for Doctors.

We won’t know the health affects until 10-20 years from now. Does it cause heart disease, cancer, and other debilitating ailments? STAY TUNED!

But they’re sorry.

Everyone is a genius. We’re all masterful traders who can teach others to become rich using a specific set of rules to trade well into the millions. The idea that the market could trade lower again is simply folly. Quite literally, nothing can stop the progress train, not you, not me, and certainly not China.

Who the fuck needs China anyhow?

Trade wars are good for stocks and the Fed is sucking Nasdaq dick all the way to Dow 50,000.

This is, more or less, a license to steal. Massive inflation is just around the bend. Stocks are going to flag higher Zimbabwe style and the dollar is going to dump the fuck out — rendering European exporters defenseless and weak.

This is the Trump Doctrine, gaudy and gauche ebullience, dripping in ornamental gold design, festooned with flowery and brightly rich colorful words, cocaine’d out of its fucking mind in an endless whir of decadence that will blind detractors and make everyone else feel like they’re living in a fucking harem.

Have a degenerate weekend.

I sold SQ for a +2.55% overnight win. I’ve had a dozen or more wins of the overnight varietal in recent weeks. Truthfully, I am grateful for this market being so cooperative. That being said, no one is picking the overnights like me.

Absolutely fucking no one.

Never say never — but if everything remains on the current trajectory, China is going to be the largest consumer of coffee in a decade. The country, thanks to their millennials, are tossing away their tea kettles in favor of French Presses — in droves.

In the early 2000’s, Starbucks sought to infect China with their brand of coffee addiction and it worked. The ancillary effects were a crop of domestic brands popping up to compete with Starbucks — similar to what we have here now with the artisan coffee shops. Back in the 90s, there were practically zero artisan coffee shops in America. If you wanted some fucking coffee — you either went to SBUX, Dunkin Donuts, or some local store — like a bagel shop.

Coffee is on track to overtake tea as China’s drink of choice. According to Coffee Business Intelligence, China’s coffee consumption growth rate is about 20 percent—2 percent higher than the global growth rate. Of those coffee consumers, millennials in China’s growing middle class demographic comprise an overwhelming 75 percent. Considering that China’s middle class is set to double to 600 million people by 2022, there is huge potential for China’s coffee market to grow even further.

“It’s so amazing how the coffee culture in China changed in the past 10 years,” marvels Charlie Gu, self-described coffee enthusiast and CEO of marketing agency Kollective Influence. “Back then, people didn’t even know how to make coffee—Chinese people were only exposed to instant coffee from Nestle.”

Ever since Starbucks opened its first storefront in Beijing in 1999, the number of coffee shops in China has ballooned. Starbucks alone currently has 3,400 outlets in China (the country is Starbucks’ second-largest market, after the United States) and plans to have 6,000 stores by 2022. Luckin Coffee, a Chinese company that launched operations only in January 2018 but already is Starbucks’ main competitor in China, has seen explosive growth, thanks to its strategy of cheap and fast coffee delivery: Luckin currently operates in 21 Chinese cities and 1,400 outlets, with plans to grow to 6,000 stores by 2020. China’s coffee industry offers plenty of opportunities for growth, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Here’s a freebie: buy China’s Starfucks, ticker LK, and never sell it. As the demographics improve, so will the profits for China’s largest independent coffee merchant.

This is next level tiered bullshit, almost makes you pine for the days of Bush the Idiot.

I am not a fan of Bitcoin and other Cryptocurrencies, which are not money, and whose value is highly volatile and based on thin air. Unregulated Crypto Assets can facilitate unlawful behavior, including drug trade and other illegal activity….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 12, 2019

….Similarly, Facebook Libra’s “virtual currency” will have little standing or dependability. If Facebook and other companies want to become a bank, they must seek a new Banking Charter and become subject to all Banking Regulations, just like other Banks, both National…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 12, 2019

…and International. We have only one real currency in the USA, and it is stronger than ever, both dependable and reliable. It is by far the most dominant currency anywhere in the World, and it will always stay that way. It is called the United States Dollar!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 12, 2019

Bearish for BTC, FB and bullish on GS in that order.

The Dow is at 27 fucking thousand. I remember being in a boiler room in the late 90s when it broke 7,000 and we were all jerking off to it and slapping each other in the faces for it — smiling and dialing for dollars. Back in 2009, when the world was ending, the down hit 6,400 and we were, once again, laughing and spitting out the window onto the plebs below.

Now we’re all grown up and the market is 20 thousand fucking points higher. Everyone is rich, yet yields are still super fucking low and the Fed is gonna cut rates.

Here is my next point.

There is zero relationship between interest rates and inflation. As a matter of fact, there is zero relationship between employment and inflation. As a matter of fact, there isn’t any inflation…EVER.

That being said, you can go enjoy yourselves now. Find solace in knowing lots of $15 per hr jobs are out there for you and the jeans on your ass cost the same now than in the 1980’s.

On the verge of a nervous collapse.

I’ve been traveling in my broken car all day — because the other one is being used and everyone in my family needed a ride at the same exact time.

“Why the fuck are you riding in a car with serious engine damage?”

Answer: Because it’s a massive job and I’m moving soon. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to pay someone $6k to do something and then move 500 miles away. These fucking mechanics are prone to err — because they’re fucking morons.

On the issue of morons.

I don’t know how I was BAMBOOZLED into buying not one, but TWO, fucking dogs. These fucking things do nothing but eat and shit and piss all day. They’ve ruined most of my furniture and expensive AF area rugs. They run in the FUCKING YARD all day and chase rabbits and birds, bringing in dead squirrels and shit into my laundry room. They carry tics and pass those FUCKING tics onto members of the family and give them Lyme disease. Then members of the FUCKING family have to take antibiotics for the rest of their FUCKING lives in order to keep the lyme at bay. Then the FUCKING dogs bark all day long, at leaves, squirrels, people who pass the house, and rarely give you a FUCKING moment of peace.

I often find myself hoping they’d just run away and fuck off. Sure, they’re nice animals and they’re innocent enough and maybe I’m just a dreadfully impatient person. I don’t know. But one thing is for certain, the dreadfully impatient person in a house of 5 should not have sole responsibility of the FUCKING annoying AF animals.

Nasdaq is fading. Today is a good FUCKING day to book gains.

I was King Alpha Vegan for a week, having had bought BYND at $156 with the intent of selling it higher. Indeed I did that this morning — booking the gain and spitting hamburger meat into the faces of all Vegans as I exited the trade.

I also took profits in WELL and O, +4.5%, +3.2%, respectfully.

I’m 8 for the last 9 and I have several other good trades on the books. But I’m feeling like now is the time to reduce exposure, wait and see, as I drift into the hazy hot months of toil and tumult — packing and boxing and lifting heavy items for the duration of summer 2019.

Futures are indicating another +100. Everything else is strong but shitcoins. If you sold here and came back in September, you’d be an idiot — but not the worst type of idiot. The worst type of idiot are the one’s who sold in May in order to ‘take the summer off.’ Markets have been red-hot and one should expect the air to come out of it — even just a little.

This morning I was awoken by municipal trucks backing up and dumping rocks in my culd-e-sac. Then some other trucks came by and picked up said rocks, again backing up with that very loud beeping sound. After that, some crew members chatted up outside my house with their fucking hard hatted big mouths — laughing and having a gay time.

Now there are some more trucks coming with large planks of wood — because they’re digging up all of the sewers in the neighborhood…just because.

I was going to pop champagne corks into the faces of my new southern neighbors. Now it appears I will be forced to gnaw off my arm limbs, in order to hold up my end of the bargain — which was to eat off my own arm on Instagram live if BTC didn’t break record highs this year.

During today’s testimony, Powell said Facebook’s planned crypto was a giant piece of shit and it was a threat.

In testimony to Congress, the Fed chair said Facebook’s proposal raised “serious concerns regarding privacy, money laundering, consumer protection and financial stability” that will need to be “thoroughly and publicly addressed” before the social media giant could go forward with the project.

Powell added that it is not the central bank’s intention to discourage financial innovation. “We just want it to take place in a safe and sound way,” he said.

Bottom line: BTC is down more than 10% for the day and the crypto-fags are getting BOGGED the fuck out. What are we gonna do!!!!?