CNBC is an Ass

Asshole Charlie Gasparino strikes again!

I just blew out of my [[WB]] for a 2 cent gain. Next thing you know, some greasy meatball thrower is spreading fucking rumors about Jamie “the street magician” Dimon being interesting in buying the company, “for a hefty premium.” As a result, the stock gapped higher.

This fucker is all about helping people get liquid. No fucking way WB gets bought out. And, if it does, no way will they receive a “hefty premium.”

Fucking egregious. Someone put that man in prison.

I bought 5,000 [[REW]] @ $58.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy REW because of this post, your boss will take steroids and throw a barbell at you. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 10,000 shares of [[HRB]] @ $22. And, I shorted 10,000 [[CSE]] @ $13.65. And, I shorted 5,000 [[CYN]] @ $42.

Disclaimer: If you short HRB, CYN or CSE because of this post, the collective IQ on CNBC will drop another 50%. And, you may lose money.

I sold 20,000 [[WB]] @ $17.37

This is a tricky time for the markets, On one hand, we seem to be heading down the shit pipe. On the other, buying stocks when sentiment is weak is usually a great time to catch a swing.

Due to an erroneous downgrade, [[FTK]] is trading lower. This, my friends, is what I call a buying opportunity. With oil shooting higher, I like my chances being long [[RIG]], [[ARD]], [[PCZ]] and [[DO]].

Some banks are bucking the downtrend, namely [[UB]], [[HCBK]], [[BOH]], [[HBAN]] and [[CMA]]. Conversely, big losses can be found in all of the brokers and select regionals, like [[EWBC]], [[FTBK]] and [[STI]].

If you must be invested, stay long energy and short everything else. The next big leg down is likely to be found in tech. The financials have been murdered and may bounce soon. In short, having an oversized cash position is not a bad idea.

If you have big gains, like “The Fly,” it makes little sense to press your bets here.

As we are told everyday, China and India are on fire, man. They’re just buying everything in sight. They cannot be stopped by price, supply or inflation. As we are told, ‘they are the future.’

China

India

If this is what runaway expansion does for their markets, I’d hate to see what contraction will do. I’ll stick with good ol’ boring US of A and its stupid fucking consumer driven playground of the nescient.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlmMQOpG14o 450 300]

More Mr. Mortgage fun.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Drxbr6N8Ro 450 300]

The market was looking for an excuse to rally. When [[BBT]] reaffirmed their 7% dividend, a short squeeze ensued. As you know by now, these rallies are to be sold. BBT is being reckless with capital. With demand for capital at a premium, why waste it via dividend? They can use that money to vulture around, buying quality assets on the cheap.

Something has to be said about managers who constantly focus on share price, instead of the underlying businesses. I mean, what the fuck are these guys smoking?

Time after time, these CEO’s end up looking like jackasses, via their erroneous share buybacks and lofty dividends. When will they realize, this is a fight for survival, not nice charts?

In other news, into this squeeze, I bought a block of [[WB]], as a hedge. If the market continues up, I believe it will print $20. Also, I might buy some [[MIDD]] here. The stock has been brutalized, beyond recognition.

For the most part, I am keeping my long exposure limited to a few stocks, for management purposes. I need to be able to blow out of them quickly, considering my bias is for further market weakness.

At the present, [[FTK]] is my largest position, with [[RIG]] not far behind.

My short positions are numerous, particularly in the regional banking space. Into this rally, I will look to sell more [[EWBC]], [[WTFC]], [[CSE]] and [[PACW]]. And, I may initiate short positions in [[CYN]], [[TCB]], [[SNV]] and [[FTBK]].

Be patient.

NOTE: “The Fly” is now up 50%, year to date.

I bought 20,000 [[WB]] @ $17.35.

Disclaimer: If you buy WB because of this post, you will find a roach in your coffee. And, you may lose money.