Dividends Equal Death to Shareholders

As you know, my “Five Reverse Horseman” of financial freedom are straight up money makers: [[FED]], [[CORS]], [[FHN]], [[DSL]] and [[PACW]].

In addition, recent bets against Chinese-American lenders have panned out with idiotic precision, avenging those who deny “The Fly” of robster, via [[CATY]], [[EWBC]].

Even small bets against funny ticker symbols, like [[WTFC]], work with robot slaves.

Now it’s time to bet against banks who have the audacity to pay out dividends. How fucking dare they?

Recent moves to eliminate dividends in [[KEY]] and [[FITB]] have resulted in quick deaths for those who are long in their retirement accounts. It is my belief, we will see a lot more of dividend slashing, to go with dilutive financing.

My new short list includes:

Now go play with your fucking charts.

What’s wrong with [[BBT]]?

Let’s count the ways.

BB&T is a financial holding company headquartered in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. BB&T conducts its operations primarily through its subsidiary Branch Banking and Trust Company (“Branch Bank”), which has branches in North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Georgia, West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Florida, Alabama, Indiana and Washington, D.C. Branch Bank provides a wide range of banking services to individuals and businesses, and offers a variety of loans to businesses and consumers.

During the first quarter of 2008, BB&T continued to experience challenges in the residential real estate markets and broader financial markets. These challenges resulted in significant credit deterioration during the quarter. Management expects further increases in nonperforming assets and charge-offs going forward, but continues to believe that those issues will be manageable.

BB&T emphasizes commercial lending to small and medium-sized businesses, consumer lending, mortgage lending and specialized lending with an overall goal of maximizing the profitability of the loan portfolio, maintaining strong asset quality and achieving an equal mix of consumer and commercial loans. For the first quarter of 2008, average total loans were $92.7 billion, an increase of $7.8 billion, or 9.2%, compared to the same period in 2007.

The following table provides a breakdown of BB&T’s loan portfolio as of March 31, 2008 and December 31, 2007.

NOTE: At the time of this post, “The Fly” was short BBT.

Apparently, we were offline again. I had Vincezo fixing the servers with a hammer and screwdriver. He was saying some shit about a few loose screws. Nonetheless, for now, the site is operational. I know this must be of great inconvenience to you, not being able to “learn up” from “The Fly” on a minute by minute basis.

Tough fucking luck. Deal with it.

As for the markets:

I am making “extreme coin” on all of my bank shorts, especially [[CSE]] and [[BBT]]. Look at BBT’s balance sheet and come back here, with a straight face, and tell me they’re not fucked. I’ll punch your fucking eyebrows off for less.

Things do not feel right. The banks are dropping so fast, it’s alarming.

Look at [[JPM]], [[STI]], [[RF]], [[CMA]], [[FITB]], [[WFSL]], [[MS]], [[LM]], [[C]] and [[BAC]]. With all this carnage in the banks, I’ll be shocked to see the market hold up here. I’m selling with both hands.

Right now, aside from iBC server problems, I am  selling short [[EWBC]], [[WTFC]], BBT and CSE with impunity—based on valuation. Also,  as always, I like [[FTK]] and [[RIG]] here.

“The computer is a moron”.

–Peter Drucker

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I sold short 30,000 [[EWBC]] @ $8.65, 5,000 [[CSE]] @ $14.70 and 5,000 [[SNV]] @ $8.80.

Disclaimer: If you sell short the above names, Bernanke will lower rates to 0%. And, you may lose money.

As you know, this Godly site was down all day, due to an unseemly event. Apparently, Vincezo (iBC’s 2nd tier IT guy) took an early lunch and left his bowl of pasta and gravy on the iBC servers. In addition, he left an open bottle of red vino on the adjacent shelf, directly above our server. In an odd twist of fuckery, the wine bottle fell off the shelf, onto the bowl of pasta and sauce, making a fucking mockery of our technology— effectively short circuiting our servers.

I’ll have you know, Vincenzo has been fined and told to never bring gravy into the cold room again.

In other news, I covered my entire [[CATY]] short, for a quick 13% profit, overnight. And, I sold out most of my stupid [[UB]] position.

In addition, I initiated a short position in [[EWBC]]. Those fuckers deserve to be drilled. I see the stock hitting high 4’s, by July 4th.

It looks like the market is trying to rally here, with financials paring losses. I will not buy into this crock o’ shit. Instead, I will sell short more, at higher prices—God willing.

Finally, I heard another rumor about [[MVIS]] yesterday. But, I refuse to share it, since this “source” has sucked balls, for about 1 year and counting.

Top picks: [[FTK]], short [[EWBC]]

I sold 10,000 [[UB]] @ $42.60.

I covered my [[CATY]] short, buying 5,000 @ $11.79.

This is getting ridiculous already.

By the way, the floods in the mid-west will adversely affect the numbers out of both [[LNN]] and [[VMI]]. I forgot to tell you about that yesterday.

Thus far, the banks are being blow-the-fuck-out, partly thanks to [[FITB]] (nice call Jakegint). However, as you know, the problem is much bigger than that. Even great banks, like [[UB]], are being hit.

The good news is, my new short positions in [[CATY]], [[WTFC]] and [[PACW]] are working like whores of the night.

The bad news is, my stupid UB position is being jelly knocked. For now, I will hold it and endure the losses, like a fucking man.

Some quick ideas:

Get long [[RIG]], it’s ripping.

In addition, I like all of my bank shorts here, especially “The Five Reverse Horseman” of death and financial Armageddon, via [[FED]], [[DSL]], [[CORS]], [[FHN]] and [[PACW]].