This Is Getting Ridiculous Already

Go ahead, mention Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and see if you make it out of this blog alive, chuckles.

There is no need for discussion.

Cheers to those who made money today.

Break open the barnyard doors you hillbillies; we’re gonna have us a party, celebrating the demise of America!!!! Yeeee-hawwww.

For real, my Foreign index is at a new high, up nearly 20% in a week.

I am aware of numerous communication tactics that can coerce the readers of this blog to listen to me, ever so quietly. I have aligned myself with men, who adorn themselves with cotton, silk and most definitely cashmere. One year ago today, “Dr. Fly” was hanging out with abject neerdowells, who ate food from garbage canisters, dressed in burlap suits, waiting for the planet to crash into the Sun. However, because my profession dictates nothing less than perfection, I calibrated my “calculator brain” to adapt to the actions of the most sinister of men the world has ever known: The Federal Reserve.

Going with my “sinister Federal Reserve” thesis, the following basic material stocks must be monitored closely, and bought outright, providing they gain further mojo:

Global Industries, Ltd. [[GLBL]] , Stillwater Mining Company [[SWC]] , Century Aluminum Company [[CENX]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ATP Oil & Gas Corporation [[ATPG]] and Superior Well Services, Inc. [[SWSI]] .

As for gold, I like asset management firm U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , who specializes in commodities, especially gold. It’s worth noting, one of their largest positions is [[JAG]] . It goes without saying, the more money U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] raises under its management, the more shares of [[JAG]] they will accumulate. Think, young man, think.

Finally, I am tentative about going “all in,” after running scared from the market a week ago. Nonetheless, with year to date gains upwards of 85%, I can afford errors, as long as they are not catastrophic. The lion share of my dollars are going towards $100 roll plays, like W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] , Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] and maybe Companhia de Bebidas das Americas (ADR) [[ABV]] or Siemens AG (ADR) [[SI]] .

Giving into God’s will, I allocated some capital today, buying U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , [[MWW]] and a little Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] for the $100 rollski. I tried to time the top, by way of being a coward with a 60% cash position. However, that didn’t work. So, instead of doing that, I have decided to grab a long sword and charge the fields of Sterling, with my fellow compatriots, in order defeat the English and sack York. Seriously, this market is on demon drugs, chockablock of liquidity and 100% joy.

Listen you, I’ll be cursing in no time (10,500) at all, which will coincide, to the exact second, with the disappearance of words like “chockablock” or “darn” from my daily diatribes against people that are stupid. Poof, just like that, you’re a f****** C********* again.

At any rate, despite putting some coin back into the market, I really hope and pray for a pullback. On any dip, for the love of God, I will buy stocks.

Bottom line: Once again, Einstein, we are in a LONG ONLY market. Failure to adhere to these laws will result in the onset of a manic-depressive personality disorder, accompanied by very harsh bankruptcy proceedings—in addition to a divorce.

Be well

I bought 22,000 U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , north of $13.55 And, I bought 5,000 [[MWW]] , north of $14.90.

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 Bio-Rad Laboratories, Inc. [[BIO]] , north of $99.50 for $100 roll

NOTE: Here is some background info on GROW.

(Chinese Professor crying (like a woman) over U.S. Dollar carry-trade)

China is complaining about the U.S. dollar carry trade.

It’s sort of ironic that the King of all currency manipulators is bemoaning our rightful place in the world as leader of the carry trade, master and commander of all things fiat.

Many of you worry about the carry trade, when, in fact, you should be embracing it, as if it was a winning lottery ticket— because it is!!!  The dollar can weaken to Bernanke’s delight, providing the good folks from Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. [[WMT]] keep the pantries of the proletariat stacked  with cheap goods. After all, we have our trading partners by the short hairs. All they need to do is shut up, manufacture “stuff” and finance our debt—indeud! Due to artificially low rates, coupled with an exceedingly weak currency, money shifters are borrowing dollars, in order to buy “things” (stocks, junk bonds, art, collectibles) and “stuff” (oil, wheat, sugar, corn, copper, gold) with it. Unlike the infamous “yen carry trade,” the dollar is supremely liquid and makes for a better weapon to combat any suggestion or hint of deflation. We are spend thrifts and we will not have it any other way.

Providing the dollar does not rally, commodity and equity markets will enjoy the splendor of speculative capital in search of a new home. As we all know by now, leaving it in cash is simply the wrong thing to do. If this relationship continues and the Fed is successful at keeping the game going, domestic and foreign real estate markets will be flooded with capital, causing rapid price appreciation, a boom of sorts—effectively bailing out underwater mortgage players and CDO lovers.

Now if things go awry and the dollar carry trade is unwound, well then, we’re just screwed. However, until that happens, let’s party like it’s 1927 or 2006, shall we? Pop champagne bottles and start eating colossal servings of carpaccio (trust me, you’ll like it). Let us remember, if the Fed didn’t inflate like a mother-you-know-what, by now, we’d be killing each other in streets for small overcooked pieces of bison meat.

Enjoy it while you can. God willing, by the time it unwinds, I will be residing in my permanent resting place: inside an egregious pineapple coffin.

I have no interest in chasing this rally, aside form my Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] purchase. So you understand where I am coming from, Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] is the Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] of coffee.

All in all, it was a great week for the bulls—and at the same time—a horrific one for the bears dressed in potato sack-like burlap bags.

Into the bell, I was rich. After the bell, I am still rich.

Any questions?

Top picks: Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , W.W. Grainger, Inc. [[GWW]] and [[ENTR]]

NOTE: Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] posts earnings next week, Tuesday. God speed.

NOTE II: For you Hugh Hendry lovers, ZH has his latest market letter to his partners.

I initiated a position in Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , buying 5,000 under $68.40.

Disclaimer: If you buy GMCR because of this post, someone will accidentally, spill a hot pot of coffee on your face. And, you may lose money.

We made changes to The PPT algorithms yesterday, which pushed the Overall hybrid score down to 2.24. And yet here we are, one day later, up 100 points. Hence the term applies: “The PPT” wins all the time, even when it’s not supposed to.

“The Fly” has been out all day, discussing the important matters of opera vs gangster rap and the effects they have on the “working class.” However, fast forward 1 hour from that, here I am talking to you, “the working class.” How ironic, no?

I am missing out on this rally, due to my “Simple Jack” 60% cash position. But do not fear for me, since I have the patience of an elephant. To be clear, it’s not like I am not making money today, with 40% of my capital long. However, I am making money “lite,” in a rather cowardly manner, which is something that I am not proud of. I am shamed.

The bears are a stupid class of people. All they do is philosophize over the economy and how the world will look like in 25 years, when America is under military command by greedy prison factory inventors from China. I spit on them, from 15 yards away.

With my money, I will buy something.

Stay tuned.

A leg down that is. I am not talking about an ordinary leg, of course. I mean gay opera dramatic crescendo type of finale, taking the air from your lungs and the teeth from your mouth.

Nah, just kidding.

But for real, if you don’t have at least 20% cash on the sidelines, you’re gonna be shining my shoes. I will Fedex them to you for proper servicing.

I have no stock recommendations for you tonight, mainly due to the fact that I am driving around in my space ship. You know, like a kid, I am going for a joyride, with every intention of throwing tomatoes at the pedestrians down below. In other news, I know someone who fell victim to a cow biting him in the face. How about that?

At any rate, don’t let cows bite you in the face and do not let this market sack you of your coin. Quit doing that, you fragile ham and eggers. Also, you should be pressing your rights with the upper class of your local social scene, by way of obnoxious looks and murderous glances, whenever someone says “hello” or “do you have the time?” You are far too important to partake in “small talk.” Save that sort of jargon for the birds and the southern tea party losers.

America is great, because we can do all sorts of egregious stuff.

Off to see about a large mug of Earl Grey tea.