AUDIBLE: Preparing for a Crash

I am sensing a major flush out into the bell. No one will want to stay long into a potential Greek default, early next week. I misjudged the timing on these events, thinking we had more time to boil the dog. Sadly, time has run out and the dog is readying to be served, apple in mouth. Of  course this is a mortifying visualization for you dog lovers, which is why I wrote it. The world is forced to eat dog sandwiches and no one wants them.

Are you going to have yours with olive oil or kraut?

Into the blood, I sold out of FL, TBT, TNA calls, TBT +calls, half of CLF, half of VMW. My current cash position is 60%. Also, going against my better judgement, I took the proceeds from my options trades gone bad and tossed them into TZA calls, short duration, at the money.

Even though I had these visions in my head, promoting Gorilla rallies and Rick Ross songs amidst celebratory executions, things didn’t go my way. I wish they would have; but the market sucks dick. So, instead of dying inside these coffins, I opted to raise cash and hedge my personal account.

Naturally, I will keep WNR and GSVC; but everything else is subject to sale. However, I will not be initiating short positions down at these levels. The risk-reward simply isn’t there, especially due to the lunatic style volatility. It is better, in my opinion, to wait this out and buy a crash, should we be so lucky enough to get one.

UPDATE: I bought 20,000 TLT
UPDATE II: I sold out of CLF and VMW, raising cash to 70%.

Germany said they are preparing to shield their banks from a Greek default. They are priming the markets for this eventuality, in my opinion. There is no way this news gets out without those “original buttfuckers” defaulting, sometime soon. I am rethinking my bounce scenario, as the fucking market dives lower. I hate making hard decisions on Friday’s, whilst the market drops like a stone. You know, it’s fucking tiring having to deal with +300 then -300 every other day. I fucking hate everyone in charge and would love to sell all stocks shorts with impunity. However, the next thing you know, the same fuckers will unveil some psychopath plan that will buoy the markets 500 in a day.

Nevertheless, I am likely to raise some cash today.

Fucking Europe is messing with my mojo again. The Chief economist of the ECB resigns and world markets plunge? Pardon me, but that guy was a fucktard and a hawk. Stark is out and someone with gorilla cocaine in his pocket will be in. This is not a reason to sell stocks. But then again, you fuckers sell stocks when someone sneezes sideways.

My options are getting battle axed to the head. However, my WNR is standing tall, despite deviants trying to chop it down. At the present, WNR represents 30% of my holdings and I intend to bash the fucking brains in of those who are betting against me. Believe me, it’s not paranoia when people are really out to get you.

The bottom line: today’s sell off is fraudulent. It is based around lies, purported by people wearing burlap hoodies and florescent green pants made from velcro.

Shares of OPEN plunged today on news that GOOG bought Zagat. Okay, let’s think about this for a second. Zagat makes their money through selling high brow reviews of restaurants. Often times, they annihilate eateries with scathing reviews. Now they want to get into the reservation business!? Pardon me, but they have a serious conflict of interest and cannot be taken as a serious competitor to OPEN, with GOOG or not.  How the fuck are they going to offer reservations to shitholes they pan? They would take payment from restaurants, and in return, their “analysts” would give rave reviews for client accounts just like S&P did during the housing bubble. There is no way Zagat moves in on Opentable’s territory. They are embedded as an industry leader and no one gives a fuck about Urbanspoon either.

Back to Zagat. As far as I am concerned, they’ve been irrelevant for three years now, ever since Yelp entered the market. Why would I want to read the review of just one asshole from Zagat, when I could read 100’s from regular people, without agendas, on Yelp for free?

Google is the new Microsoft, making all sorts of fucked up decisions. They are Johnny come lately to nearly every new business initiative and should stick to what they do best, search. Android is their X-Box and they should get ahead of the curve by issuing a large divided. Within two years, growth at GOOG will stagger and the share price will lag.

Whether OPEN is a buy here is anyone’s guess. It is certainly intriguing at these levels. However, I’d like to see some share price stability first.

Here is the train disaster better known as Obama’s jobs speech.

I have never heard Obama sound so fucking canned, ever. This speech was right off the teleprompter. Not one word came from his heart, which is why no one respects him. He isn’t leading because he does not have it in him to inspire people to act. After seeing this piece of offal mail in tonight’s speech, I am taking back my previous promise that I’d vote for him again if  I didn’t like the GOP candidate. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck that. I’d rather vote for Mr. Potato Head than give this guy the keys to the White House, so his Mother in-law walk around the historic mansion in her fucking pajamas, for another 4 years.

The speech was a bust. The world is stupid. Our only hope is Rick Ross’s beard right now. Nothing more. Nothing less.

UPDATE: Here is the speech.

We gave back about half of yesterday’s gains, coinciding with my daily performance. I have some exposure here, with 70% of my book long, 30% cash. The reversal was sharp, following my “GET ON THE FUCKING MAGIC CARPET” post. Obviously, investors, worldwide, saw that as the tipping point that caused a domino, a cascade of sorts, type of selling.

Bob Pisani is downplaying today’s sell off as “nothing more than a jog in the sewer.” However, I think today sucked dick.

Should 0bama propose a large ($400billy) stimulus plan, the bulls will rip the faces off the bears tomorrow, in hilarious clown-like fashion. On the other hand, should he go all teleprompter on us, we’re gonna fucking crash through the floor boards, wiping out my COCAINE, RICK ROSS, GORILLA account inside of 15 minutes.

Nevertheless, my big chips are riding WNR (no homo). Today’s 1.6% decline is nothing more than a pebble amongst crashing boulders. Let’s not get too dramatic over this situation. Instead, let’s  focus on how we can dispatch Alf to hades.

NOTE: For PPT members only, tomorrow will be the last day to get a free trial for 12631. If you’ve been on the fence, this is your last chance to get a free look. We do not give trials often and will not be doing another one for at least 6 months.

Fucking great. I am on the road and can only laugh at my idiotic “Obama to the rescue” post now. Since I posted my magic carpet shit, the market is down 150 points, in a straight line. Sometimes you get unlucky and others times you are cursed.

Nevertheless, in the big scheme of things, we still have half of yesterday’s gains intact. But, THE MARKET MUSTN’T fall much lower from here, else it’s cascade time, yet again.

We are walking a very tenuous rope and there isn’t much in the way of a “fuck you, you’re dead” sell off.

For now, I am holding, but watching closely.

You fuckers doubted “The Obama” and will now pay the price for it.  Obama, with all of his might and power, will produce 1 billion jobs tonight, ushering in a new era of prosperity and dominance for America throughout the universe. Our spaceships will crush Russian satellites for sport and laser beam their spaceships to boast,  then drop space junk on the fucking Iranians out of arrogance.

I see a lot of you lunatics talking about my WNR and how the magical number of $18 is of some importance. No it isn’t you idiots. The number 18 is no more important than the number 999. Get off the fucking crack pipe and avoid talking about my positions as if they were your own.

Remember, when you come to iBC, you better respect the things that I say, else it’s off with your mustache. I’ve been very patient with you. I even let retards (ALF) post on my blog, making all sorts of nonsensical comments, with oddball sentence structure and syntax.

Look, “The Fly” is “Rick Ross’n” is right here, with WNR, VMW, TNA sprinting higher. Sometime soon, I will book my profits and chill the fuck out, unwind under the sun, drinking bourbon neat. You shouldn’t be concerned with my reservations right now, however.

Just get on the fucking magic carpet and enjoy the ride.

Should you find yourself looking at down stocks today, do not fear anything. Obama the Zero is on his way to create more than 0 jobs, vis a vis his scripted speech tonight. The proposal of an infrastructure bank might scare Senator Gint. However,  I embrace an infrastructure bank as if it was my own. Since there are no easy fixes, I am always interested in cool/innovative bandaid solutions. Why? Because I see the world as my science experiment. I don’t give a fuck about the macro, as I am only interested in my micro.

Welcome to my micro.

Stocks will reverse and trade higher today.

Do not fear, I will not sully these grande pages with vacuous self touts. I know the small dick crowd out there feels threatened by my alpha; but that’s because they are people of low quality,  stuck in middle class hell. Hey, I’m partly human too. Just last month I reported my personal/aggressive account was down 35% for the year. I wasn’t mad about it because it was  +990%  last year. I took $100k and tossed it into a highly leveraged account, using only proprietary algorithms provided by The PPT, and turned it into a milly. Most of my losses stemmed from a fucked up ZSL trade gone awry, then a slew of option trades gone wildly fucked up.

When the market crashed in early August, my big dicked WNR position tanked so hard, I was nearing a house call on that account. Luckily, the market quickly rebounded and WNR lifted off $12 to $18 in a matter of weeks. However,  my options account got nuked, due to the short duration of my contracts. It just so happened that I was long $120k worth of short term call contracts (seeded with just $20k), just prior to the crash. Again, this is my GORILLA, RICK ROSS, COCAINE trading account, not managed.

I lost 100k of the 120k in short order and I had a good chuckle over the tragedy. That’s the market and there is never a reason to whine about losership. With WNR and DECK rebounding, I decided to try my hand at options again, this time with a little more cocaine.

On 8/18, I bought the dip on DECK, loading the fuck up on contracts, buying the 77.5 calls at $5.20 and selling them at $10.5 on 8/29. I was back, at least in my options account. With the proceeds ($20k), I bought very little CXO calls for a small win, $3.00 to $3.30. Then I took a break, opting to fuck around with VHC, IPGP and more WNR. I did that and won with style and absoluteness.

Then on 8/30, The PPT was SCREAMING OVERBOUGHT, so I said fuck it and dropped it all ($23k) into TZA calls, positioning in the Sept 40 calls with a cost basis of $4.10. Fast forward a few fucked up days in the market and I sold them yesterday for north of  $10. Now my options account is fucking with $56,000.

Yesterday, after having a discussion with my bathroom urinal shadow (think Mr. Grady from The Shining), I dropped it all into TNA calls, varying in durartion, but mostly Sept 40’s, cost basis of around $3.50 on the 40’s. The market broke the fuck out today, sending the 40’s, $41’s, $42’s and $43’s ripping. Now that bullshit 10k account is worth $105,000.

I’m not done.

Mid-day, I bought $10k worth of VMW Sept 90’s, for about $3.2ish. I’m up 31% on them since this morning. Finally, I doubled my TBT position today for clients, but increased my options position in my personal 3x. Right now I am long the Sept 24 calls, not really giving a fuck about the outcome, having just $15,000 invested.

So, at the end of the day, this account closed at a tad over $108,000, seeded with $10k on 8/18, a return of 1,080%—ROFL. I am still long the Sept TNA calls, TBT, VMW and a shitload of WNR common.

How’s that for crazy?

NOTE: The GORILLA, RICK ROSS, COCAINE account is now breakeven for the year.