This is NOT as Easy as it Looks

I know some of you are doing well, others not so much. When I was starting out, I’d hate guys like “The Fly” who always seemed to have an edge, a fucking unicorn with horseshoes up his ass. What you are witnessing here, day in and day out, is over 15 years of market experience, real hard effort handed down by the market Gods, translated into market mastery. I never fucked around with time and I never ever waste it. There are somethings you can learn, other things you need to experience for yourself. There is nothing like being baptized with fire to help you understand that shit is hot.

iBankCoin attracts a  younger demographic,  partly due to my policy to ban anyone older than 47.5, and also due to my unique style and choice selection of vocabulary. With youth comes arrogance and outright ignorance. Let it be known, if you are under 25 years old, you literally know nothing. You might be brilliant; but you haven’t lived. Believe it or not, I am not trying to besmirch you fucking children, but teach you what you need to be taught.

Do not let this market discourage you. People will approach you and say “hey, fuck that stock market shit. It’s for cock-goblins. Get yourself a real job.” Immediately, you should punch that person in his fucking face. Don’t let anyone get away with that sort of jargon, especially when there are space alien magicians offering magic for free on the internets.

Speaking of which, I am now +80% overnight on my TNA calls. I am not selling until The PPT registers OVERBOUGHT. In case you didn’t know, yes, it was OVERSOLD yesterday and TNA was OVERSOLD, for the first time in awhile.

Over the years, I’ve lost so much money, in so many oddball scenarios, you’d be amazed. Rarely do I get upset over lost coin. Unlike Mrs. Fly, who strokes the fuck out at the sight of a $1k loss, but has no issues spending $1k on bullshit shoes, I flick my cigar ashes at them. If you want to become a pro in this business, you need to control your fucking emotions. The most important aspect of investing is knowing your talent. If you know you suck balls, avoid going all in, since you’re a fucking idiot moron and will lose it all in one trade. Make small trades.  And if you are from down south, quit drinking moonshine at the desk you fucking hillbillies.

“The Fly” has shit to do now and doesn’t have time to play games with your kind on the internets. His stocks are sprinting the fuck higher and his allocation is now 70% long. Year to date gains are stretching today, now at new highs of +18%

I bought 10,000 VMW.

Disclaimer: If you buy VMW because of this post, Carol Bartz will be hired as new CEO of VMW. And, you may lose money.

Given the asshattishness of this market, 70% long is my ceiling. The rest of my money will just sit here, collecting dust, drinking Earl Gray tea.

At the open, I doubled down on my TBT position, with cause. It appears the power elite are dismantling the “risk off” trades, namely Swiss Francs, Gold, Silver and very soon Treasuries. If this market is set to trade up, there is no way treasuries hold their value. Without a doubt, yields MUST go higher, at least for awhile.

Additionally, I bought a shitload of CLF, sub $80. With the WLT news, I suspect coal and steel plays will catch bids. Plus anyway, CLF is best of breed and will trade higher, providing this market bounces.

Last but not least, I added to my WNR.

In closing, “The Fly” is in his fucking spaceship, abducting Tea Party people from Ohio and laser beaming their mustaches off. I am long WNR, GSVC, TBT, TNA, CLF and FL, in size, because I fucking S.H.O.MP. Do you?

NOTE: For the next two days, The PPT members will gain free trial access to 12631. If you were on the fence about both products, I advise you join now, in order to get a free look at the unparalleled work of Chess and RC at 12631.

We’re due to bounce hard off oversold levels. I am anticipating a 200-500 point move higher from here. Do to the shift in sentiment, I will be adding to longs today.

Rumors are swirling around WLT, regarding a takeover bid. Truth be told, these rumors have been out there for awhile. However, I believe my source is a little better than the average Joe. I like WLT here, even though it’s up $16 in pre-market trade.

My TNA calls will rip higher on the open. I am looking for it to run past $45, short term.

Finally, we all know the banks aren’t lending, much to the government’s chagrin. What if the FHFA lawsuit is a way to threaten the banks, in order to make them open the spigots? Perhaps the government is using a little leverage in their efforts to get those fuckers to start lending again. If so, I like it. However, something tells me the government isn’t that smart.

NOTE: For the next two days, The PPT members will gain free trial access to 12631. If you were on the fence about both products, I advise you join now, in order to get a free look at the unparalleled work of Chess and RC at 12631

One of the things we do in The PPT is track performance of all stocks during our OVERSOLD and OVERBOUGHT cycles. This gives me an edge by highlighting median or mean returns for the highest beta stocks traded, with accuracy to boot. The following list of stocks (my gift to you) tend to outperform all other stocks during OVERSOLD to OVERBOUGHT cycles. As a point in fact, PPT members do not have access to this data yet, as it is still in BETA, soon to be released in PPT 2.0.

(Stock, Median Return)
AG +16.27&
LNG +13.8%
HFC +9.6%
EXK +9.4%
CVI +9.38%
GPOR +9.2%
REGN +8.7%
WNR +8.02%
COG +7.8%
MDW +7.7%

The best performing ETF is AGQ with an average return of 17.64%. ERX is 3rd with a 7.44% return. If you want more info, quit being such a fucking piker and purchase membership.

The shadows near my favorite urinal started talking to me late in the day, insisting that I sell my TZA and indeud replace it with egregious amounts of TNA and FL. I did exactly that, buying both TNA common and Sept 40 calls, alongside 100,000 shares of FL—starter position.

Although I reduced my cash position into equities, I am still reticent about going all in and will opt for a lighter approach into battle. Instead of heavy cavalry and trebuchets, I will burrow tunnels beneath the surface and leave clay jars filled with nitroglycerin under the foundations of my enemies.

Today’s late day recovery was impressive and should spill into a bullish open for tomorrows trade. Moreover, I expect the dicksuckers in Europe will request and be granted a one day respite from the guillotine.

At the close of trade, my largest positions were WNR, FL and GSVC, with a dynamite infused TNA gamble.

I sold out of my TZA and bought TNA. common and calls.

Here I am, sitting here in my gold throne, adorned with high grade diamonds and buckets of rare/priceless painite, grandidierite and jeremejevite, unable to find places to park my cash. Truth be told, as is always the case, I am very much interested in going long here. However, at the end of the day, I mustn’t betray my disciplines, buying into names that are in danger of an EPS cut.

Most of the tech sector is in grave danger of having dramatic (no homo) cuts, as well as retail. I love the balance sheet and numbers coming out of DECK, but wouldn’t be surprised to see a 15% slash in expectations, based around the idea the world as we know it is down the shitter.

Commodity related stocks are risky, due to the pervasive deflation plaguing the world. Should we have a credit event, oil will be back to $30, swallowing whole companies amidst debilitating and crippling debt restructuring efforts.

My conundrum is serious, one that will need to be hashed out by my calculator brain, assisted by my fucking space capsule. At a minimum, TNA is an option, as well as a variety of diversified ETF’s.

As the market gets lit up like a roman candle, my largest position, WNR, is up and my TZA is running without shoes. My TZA calls are ridiculous, now +150% inside of a short week, so pardon me if I seem somewhat lackadaisical in my blogging efforts. While it’s true, my TBT position isn’t fairing too well. It’s also true, it was never a big one to begin with. I was sort of moonlighting with it, a dart in the dark, the proverbial walk through the sand littered with bouncing Betty landmines.

With regards to the refiners, this is all you need to know. Crack spreads are higher today, now above $35, and the WTI-Brent crude spread is at all time highs ($28.) Okay? So as the world burns, the underlying fundies for WNR have never been better.

My question to you is this: once trading gets back to normal and asset (asshat) managers look for places to park cash, where do you think they will put it, with regards to the energy sector?

Exactly.

I never besmirch my fellow investor for trading the tape in front of him. However, you can’t go around acting like you have a dogs brain either. For once, why don’t you get ahead of the curve and quit picking up the scraps?

Having said that, I will be closing out my TZA position today. I made a great deal of money in it for my personal/aggressive account and will start to scour the market for longs. With the Swiss Franc getting obliterated, thanks to the peg, I’d avoid gold as if it were the Black Death itself. It is entirely plausible to see the seemingly “risk off” assets targeted by the power elite, in order to funnel people back into stocks. Do not be fooled by price action. There is a bubble in non-risk assets, enveloping treasuries, gilts, bunds, francs, utility stocks and gold.

At the present, I still hold over 60% cash.

Is your seat death proof?

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have  to start getting scared, immediately.”