RELEASE THE BIDEN: Vice Presidential Debate (LIVE STREAM)

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Today I was gifted with a COCAINE GORILLA RUN in coal, long to tits in ANR. I didn’t take this generosity for granted by sitting idly by–doing nothing. I sold out of PPC and SVU, not because I couldn’t take the losses–but because I could. The losses in both names were a mere trifling, compared to the magnanimous advances made in ANR. Hence, I sold and started a new position in a name more aptly suited for today’s tape: TC.

It’s worth noting, already, I am +3% on TC.

Moving on, I feel today’s action was both bullish and bearish. Bearish for the obvious reasons: selling off from nice high spots is deadly for your financial futures. On the other hand, basic materials showed some gumption, a sector sensitive to both global growth and the superfluities of the Chinese central bank. It’s always been my belief that the Chinese will stimulate their economy, like a motherfucker, when the 18th congress seizes power.

We’re into banking coin, here at iBankCoin. I’ve got a good eye for these sort of things and generally make it my business to succeed, no matter the clime.

NOTE: short seller in the video below isn’t scared of the cocaine induced gorilla. He’s eating that fuckers leaves, petting his baby.

NOTE II: PPT members- I will be issuing today’s report a little early, about 4:45.

I started a position in $TC, using some of the PPC and SVU proceeds.

Cash is now at 20%.

I see the markets are selling off from this morning’s sugar high. However and quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.

Some of my positions are behaving rather poorly, like PPC, SVU and OSG. Let me reiterate, I couldn’t (emphasis on “n’t” for the illiterates) care less.

“The Fly” is a coal man, knee deep in the black stuff. My face is covered with soot, as I overlook the worker class mine money for me.

I want you to understand something, very simply: I warned you of the coming rise in coal. I let you into my world of fortune and glory. For those of you who followed me into the gates of heaven, I expect gratitude. Everyone else can make ham sandwiches for the business elite, for all I can care.

In summary, net, net, I am up 2% for the day, as my second largest position climbs the ladder of success. I am not selling a single share; but may look to swap out of losers to capitalize on the change in momentum.

UPDATE: I sold out of PPC and SVU

Benjamin Bernanke stands up and stretches, after a long night sleeping on an old French colonial chair, prattling to himself over a philly blunt filled with A grade marijuana “I’m gonna get those bitches soon, real soon.”

He stares into a mirror and pulls out a small comb and grooms his beard to look perfect. He walks over to his 20 foot window and lifts up the Roman shade adorning it, revealing the sun rising on the horizon. Slowly, he pulled a pipe out of his pocket, filled to the brim with aromatic tobacco, and lights it. He then walks over to his desk and turns on his computer, browsing over some numbers and graphs, then turns it off.

As he walks out of his office with conviction and purpose, with a trail of pipe smoke in his path, he mutters to himself “I’m gonna get those bitches right now.”

(slams door)

NOTE: Either Tom Green or HELMUT BAKAITIS (the fucking architect from The Matrix) will play Ben Bernanke in my upcoming movie: 10 Trillion Ways to Die, Choose One
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygfX3VAF_gg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K-g7ipAqYY

Futures are higher. The market is going to bounce and we have this to look forward to tonight.

Life is good.

This being the year of generosity, I’ve decided to publish the first ever “What The PPT is Saying Today” report inside of iBC, in order to show you what it will look like. Pay attention because it shall never be posted in these quarters again.

I’ve been 15% cash since last week. The lot of you tend to forget about my fixation with keeping reserves. I keep them for moments like this, only far worse.

According to the magical arts of The PPT, we are not oversold yet. As a matter of fact, several inverse ETFs were flagging OS just two days ago. The prophecies are playing out exactly as intended. I will delve back in, mind you, when the time is sublime.

As for now, I am cornered inside of my home office, as a crew of 20 illegal Mexicans plaster and sand my walls, readying for a good 2 coats of Benjamin Moore (Regal) paint. They are playing the mariachi downstairs and I want to kill several of them and plant them next to my sprinklers.

Starting today, I am going to start penning a “What The PPT is Saying Today” post, inside the hallowed confines, to help guide members through the labyrinth and show them the light.

Be well and fuck off.

Good day.

Thanks to a hit piece in Barron’s…

Early in the year, my boss Randall Forsyth wrote in this space about some pretty scary Pimco closed-end fund premiums. As investors scrounge too recklessly for yield, they paid $150 for $100 in assets in some cases, or even $175.
Yep, this problem is still around. Jacqueline Doherty reviews the CEF bidding in this weekend’s edition of Barron’s, finding that too many investors are still blinded by 6% or 10% distribution yields. “At best, these funds harbor risks that investors ought to know about and understand,” she writes. “A[t] worst, the high yields are luring buyers at the wrong moment, when the funds are in danger of falling sharply in value.”

Herewith the culprits, all of whom give investors fat distributions: Pimco High Income Fund (PHK) still trades at a 70% premium to net asset value. Pimco Global StocksPLUS & Income Fund (PGP) is at 68%. Pioneer High Income Trust (PHT) is 37% above NAV. All three funds are selling off by anywhere from 1.5% to 3.5% Monday in the wake of the article.

Those are extreme examples. The milder strain of the disease is everywhere, as Doherty explains. “Sixty-six percent of taxable bond funds and 73% of municipal-bond funds trade above NAV now, versus roughly 30% both a year ago and in 2006, before the financial crisis, according to Thomas J. Herzfeld Advisors, a closed-end specialist based in Miami Beach.”

It’s not as if investors can claim they didn’t know the dangers. Trouble has happened before. From the article:

The Gabelli Utility Trust (GUT) traded at a 70% premium to NAV just before it announced on Aug. 19, 2010, that it was reviewing its distribution policy. Investors rightly interpreted that to mean a reduction was coming. The shares tumbled to $5.58 by the end of that month, from $8.18, and the premium shriveled to 15%. The fund now trades at $8.03, a 42% premium. Gabelli Utility has returned 9.5% annually since inception in 1999, assuming dividends were reinvested.

This is happening.

Old fuckers in wheeled chairs are being flung into oncoming traffic, courtesy of out of control price to NAV valuations. Anyone remember the TVIX debacle?

Other high income ETFs getting hit include RCS, DSU, PCN, PTY, PFL, PFN.

This is the sort of carnage I do not appreciate. I like to leave the bond/income people alone. Next thing you know, they are on the teevee declaring “credit crises”– things of that nature.

Tomorrow is the Vice Presidential debate, which should be a gargantuan boon for lovers of “the other black gold” due to a predictable win for Ryan. Frankly, having a debate between a retarded neanderthal and a person who actually tries to do his job, suggesting plans and bills (things of that nature) is unfair.

Just know, if Romney gets elected, the head of the Senate energy commission will be (drum roll please)

SENATOR IMHOFE

Get your fucking bibles ready, ‘cuz the good Senator is emphatic when he says “God loves coal.” Okay, I am paraphrasing a bit there. But he did pen this wonderful book.

I must admit to thoroughly enjoy when politicians play scientist in their books.

In short, the market is a no good (heavy cantonese accent), stuck in a proverbial “fag box” until November. Expect draw-downs, but keep your chins raised high. For when this downturn ends, we will be smoking blunts made from cocaine laced marijuana again, topped off with 40 ounces of malted liquor, declaring “fuck you, you’re dead” to the shorts—whilst riding unicycles in the city square.

Until then, enjoy the mini-bear market.

TOP pick: ANR