18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,593 Blog Posts

How’s That Bottom?

Where are all you bottom callers? Much to your chagrin, “The Fly” is near an all-time high, up about 40%, year to date.

See, you thought I’d lose, didn’t you? Admit it.

You were sitting there, in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples, thinking: “look at this market rip. That Fly guy is an asshole and will lose it all.”

Fast forward one month and I’m punching your head in, like Mike Tyson in a gay bar.

Today, I had egregious gains in [[FXP]], [[SRS]], [[REW]], short [[CHL]], short [[FED]], short [[LAZ]], short [[COWN]] and a variety of other “secret trades.”

Just know this: the market is my bitch. On occasion she runs away, until I back smack her, while exclaiming: “where the fuck is my money, ho”?

Top pick: FTK

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How convenient.

Top picks: [[FTK]], short [[LAZ]]

Update: Mr. Mortgage May Foreclosure report

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJOJYUJi4n8 450 300]

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Fly Buy: FTK

I bought 1,000 [[FTK]] @ $18.60.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 FTK @ $18.60

Disclaimer: If you buy FTK because of this post, you may never become Godly. And, you may lose money.

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Brace Yourself for New Lows

Some new shoe is about to drop. I’m not sure if its [[LEH]], [[MER]], [[MS]], [[GS]] or some other broken financial stock. One thing I am certain of is pending shoe droppage. Write it down.

With the markets scaling back down to 12,000, expect the bears to brazenly rip apart stocks, while exclaiming: “we must retest the lows.”

That’s just a catchy phrase. What they really mean: We’re fucked.

A confluence of negative events has reemerged, simultaneously. The FED, once again, are talking hawkish, fearing the grip of runaway inflation. The credit crunch is as bad as ever. The threat of another big broker folding tent looms. Oil and natural gas prices are soaring, as if the last drop of oil has been sold to some fucktard in Beijing. The Asian markets are shattered. And, we have goat crazed prices at the local grocery store, all thanks to a retard currency and “global growth.”

In my opinion, the charade that Lehman put on for Wall Street last quarter was the number one reason why the markets rallied. People thought “the worst was behind us.” We had old men, like Vince Farrell, go on CNBC and declare the “bottom.” Everyone was joyful, with coke on the desk and viagra in their pockets.

Until David Einhorn shook the banana tree at LEH, demanding clarity.

As a result, we got clarity and it isn’t pretty.

Again, in my opinion, LEH was not being exactly honest, with regards to their balance sheet. Because of this, the Armageddon trade is back on the front burner.

How does one play this?

Well, for one, you must have hedges. Personally, I have a great number of short positions, with energy stocks as my hedge.

Despite the inefficiencies of [[SRS]], which HollyWood pointed out, I like it here. If SRS doesn’t float your Chevy, sell short [[IYR]].

Also, there are a variety of banks on the west coast and mid-west worth shooting at. As you know, I am short [[FED]]. Other banks on my doom list include: [[FHN]], [[CORS]], [[DSL]], [[WM]], [[MTB]], [[LAZ]], [[COWN]], [[WTFC]], [[BBT]], [[SNV]], [[WL]], [[CATY]], just to name a few.

Over the next day or two, “The Fly” will pluck another fucked bank and make it a “Reverse Horseman,” if I may be so bold.

The Godly thing about iBC is that there are so many capable investors, who offer sage advice. Do yourself a favor, fuckface, start listening more and talk less.

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Fly Buy: SRS

I bought 1,000 [[SRS]] @ $93.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy SRS because of this post, your sprinkler system will go haywire, effectively flooding your house. And, you may lose money.

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Why Not Bet Against Goldman?

It’s a misnomer to believe that [[GS]] will escape the ‘credit crisis’ unscathed. Shockingly, most people believe Goldman is this super human firm, with crystal balls on their trading desks and time machines in their bathrooms.

If you look back in time, you will see that GS is very mortal, indeed. During the 1997-1998 “Asian Contagion”/ LTCM collapse, Goldman was saddled with devastating losses. So great were the losses, it delayed their scheduled ipo.

Thus far, Goldman has managed to dodge a few bullets; but the war is far from over. I would sell short GS, if there wasn’t so many other shitboxes to bet against, however.

Let me remind you, “The Reverse Four Horsemen” are banking coin, in a reverse sort of way. [[FED]], [[FHN]], [[DSL]] and [[CORS]] are heading for a “non-glorious” death.

I’ll have you know, “The Fly” is very close to unveiling a new “Reverse Horseman.” Indeed, if I may be so bold, I will add a 5th horseman.

At any rate, the banks are dying and the fuckers at [[LEH]] are lying. What else is new?

My pair trade of long energy/short everything else is still intact.

With my money, I will sell short more [[LAZ]] and the cowardly cowards at [[COWN]]. And, I will buy more [[FTK]]. If you haven’t figured it out by now, “The Fly” will not rest until he gets his short squeeze in FTK. It seems attainable. I can smell it.

UPDATE: Bears discuss their Goldman short position.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdUL4xdCe-U 450 300]

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Corn is Fucking Nuts

And, I’m sure, the farmers who grow this shit are batshit “clown crazy” too. Who did I think I was, declaring a “top” in corn a few weeks ago? Should I ever try that again, feel free to internet smack me. That was plain ol’ “southern dumb” of me. So sorry.

The other side of this corn coin is very ominous. With prices gapping like this, people can’t buy food and shit. Also, it means the ethanol producers, like [[VSE]], [[AVR]] and [[PEIX]], are screwed. And, restaurant stocks are gayer than a 3 legged sculpture of Michael Jackson.

Within the eateries, short [[CMG]] and [[BWLD]] come to mind. Remember, the price of fresh chicken wings directly correlates to the price of corn, since those little critters eat corn feed.

Feel free to add your doomed restaurant stocks in the comments section, or not. Either decision you might make is perfectly acceptable with me.

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