iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,859 Blog Posts

POOF: Your Bull is Gone

The brokers are really fucking the market here. Rumors of mass Exodus at [[MER]] are destroying their shares. I can tell you, when times are tough, brokers love to leave their employers, in exchange for a big fat signing bonus at another broker/dealer.

The incentives are huge, typically 100-200% of the reps trailing 12. So, a million dollar producer can leave MER for [[MS]] for a quick 1.5 mill. Hell, in this market, up front money is very enticing.

With my money, I shorted more [[LEH]] today, mainly because I can.

The general feel of today’s tape was extraordinarily bearish. It’s this sort of tape that reminds asshats, who suck the balls off of [[GE]], that we are in a bear market.

As for me, I kept most of my longs, with exception to [[FMCN]]. I sold out 3/4th’s of my FMCN position, mainly because it did not respond to BIDU‘s numbers.

I will be looking to buy a few energy names, over the next few sessions. Too many jerkoffs are short. I will take their money, then kick them into an active freeway of mud stomping bulls.

In closing, “The Fly” feels like a fucking douche for covering his bank shorts the other day. In order to make up for this “pussified behaviour [sic]. he intends to punish the shares of [[TCB]], [[MI]] and [[LEH]], while living lavishly off of gains in [[SKF]].

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Clear Out Fuckers; The Fly is Coming

I am having my revenge today.

Quickly, I identified my “wrongness” and sold out half of my [[FMCN]] position. Then, I took the liberty to place my balls on the banks dull blade, via shorting [[TCB]], [[MI]] and [[LEH]].

Then, I bought a plethora of [[SRS]], [[SKF]] and [[REW]].

Finally, I sat back and witnessed my brilliance, in real time, as [[CLNE]] went green and everything else red.

The steel stocks are being clown raped, with monster losses in [[MTL]], [[ATI]] and [[ZEUS]].

The stupid casino stocks are collapsing, with egregious losses in [[MGM]], [[LVS]] and [[WYNN]].

The good feelings of yesterday have magically morphed into desperation and melancholy. I do not need the luxury of a time machine to know Cramer is an asshat for suggesting [[GE]] is a buy, thanks to its financial exposure.

Listen up bucko: GE moves higher when the economy gets better. Plain and simple.

In closing, I want all of you to know, “The Fly” has reinstated the “Reverse Five Horsemen” of banking displeasure. [[FED]], [[FHN]], [[DSL]], [[PACW]] and [[CORS]] are all in the line of fire, yet again.

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Fly Sells: FMCN, TCB, MI

I sold 20,000 [[FMCN]] @ $26.75 and I sold short 10,000 [[TCB]] @ $12.45.

UPDATE: I sold short 10,000 [[MI]] @ $15.50

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Where Did All The Bulls Go?

What the fuck? I was just about to get me some [[BAC]] or [[FED]] or [[LEH]] up 50%, over the last 5 days. That shit looked cheap.

Are you telling me the economy is in the shitbox? I thought America had a ‘goldilocks economy’?

My inverse etf’s are outperforming; but I am vexed for not have the balls to short FED yesterday.

In an effort to ‘dip my toes’ back into the murky market waters, I took the liberty to buy more [[FXP]], [[SKF]] and [[SRS]], if you don’t mind. After some recovery in my disheveled portfolios, I shall and will short some banks. As sure as I’m sitting here, I will have my revenge against those bastards.

My new longs are not working: [[CLNE]] and [[FMCN]]. As you understand, this makes matters worse. However, being able to have a time horizon longer than 2 days gives me comfort in knowing “The Fly” is never wrong.

For those of you who are stuck in [[RIG]], unable to get out, be patient. The company is going to report earnings soon. I expect there will be a bounce. On that bounce, let go of some shares.

Keep in mind, everyone is killing the energy names, acting as if oil is $30 per barrel. Asshats.

I suspect, the decline in crude will be short lived. Once it starts gapping up again, there will be a frantic panic to get back in RIG, [[SU]], [[UPL]], [[OXY]], [[ARD]], just to name a few.

All of the assholes who were short banks are now short energy stocks.

You know how this story ends, don’t you?

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The Castration of the Bears Continues

Seeing [[CLNE]] down, while natty is taking a dirt nap, reminds me how cruel Mother Market is. What a fucking bitch/whore.

That stock, mind you, should be sprinting higher, on the back of T. Boone Pickens’ pitch to congress and lower natural gas prices. However, due to the capitulation in commodity related names today, anything and everything with the word “energy” in it is being clubbed like a retarded seal.

It is, without doubt, a buying opportunity.

Look, I was lucky enough to dodge the knifing action in [[RIG]], but not lucky enough to avoid other losses. Still, I endure painful “paper losses” in [[SKF]], [[SRS]] and [[FXP]]. Nonetheless, like the hard headed creature I am, I continue to buy more.

My losses from top to now are just short of 20%, putting my year to date returns around 37%.

The agony.

On the long side, I own [[WB]], [[LAZ]], [[JOE]], [[FMCN]], [[BAP]], CLNE, [[CLX]], [[MVIS]], [[HD]], [[SBUX]], [[GD]], [[LMT]], [[HANS]], [[PCZ]] and [[NOV]].

Basically, seeing the market run, I forced myself to just buy shit. I had to.

Having a heavy shot bias, I deemed being so one sided to be fucktarded. So, I hedged some of my shorts, with a variety of longs.

As for the banks, the proprietary iBC software spit out a variety of names yesterday, including [[FED]], [[UMPQ]], [[STI]] and [[MBI]]. Under normal conditions, many banks are still significantly undervalued, trading less than book value. However, I cannot get myself into the mind set of going long now, with exception to WB.

If you lost some coin during this squeeze, do not fret. Things are not always as they seem. Soon enough, “The Fly” will be pistol hot again, enabling you (internet leech) to bank a little coin, allowing you to, once again, feed your family a few tacos with sour cream.

Off to throw some surplus firecrackers at people.

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Off to Dunkin’

Once again, I am afraid to be seen in public, consuming coffee from a homo pink cup. People around my office are rich again, as the market climbs. They drive yellow Ferrari’s and never visit Dunkin’ Donuts.

Let it be known, they go to Starbucks.

My conundrum: [[SBUX]] coffee blows moose balls. I’d rather drink a cup of motor oil, than that shit they shovel at “The ‘Bux.”

However, I do not want to be viewed as “poor” or “blue collar,” via being seen at Dunkin’.

So, I will stealthy sneak into my local Dunkin’, wearing a fake mustache and dark sun glasses. Should anyone recognize me, I will “accidentally” spill hot coffee all over their fucking face.

Wish me luck.

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