iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,375 Blog Posts

Waiting For More Blood

I’ve been 15% cash since last week. The lot of you tend to forget about my fixation with keeping reserves. I keep them for moments like this, only far worse.

According to the magical arts of The PPT, we are not oversold yet. As a matter of fact, several inverse ETFs were flagging OS just two days ago. The prophecies are playing out exactly as intended. I will delve back in, mind you, when the time is sublime.

As for now, I am cornered inside of my home office, as a crew of 20 illegal Mexicans plaster and sand my walls, readying for a good 2 coats of Benjamin Moore (Regal) paint. They are playing the mariachi downstairs and I want to kill several of them and plant them next to my sprinklers.

Starting today, I am going to start penning a “What The PPT is Saying Today” post, inside the hallowed confines, to help guide members through the labyrinth and show them the light.

Be well and fuck off.

Good day.

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High Income ETFs Are Getting Smashed

Thanks to a hit piece in Barron’s…

Early in the year, my boss Randall Forsyth wrote in this space about some pretty scary Pimco closed-end fund premiums. As investors scrounge too recklessly for yield, they paid $150 for $100 in assets in some cases, or even $175.
Yep, this problem is still around. Jacqueline Doherty reviews the CEF bidding in this weekend’s edition of Barron’s, finding that too many investors are still blinded by 6% or 10% distribution yields. “At best, these funds harbor risks that investors ought to know about and understand,” she writes. “A[t] worst, the high yields are luring buyers at the wrong moment, when the funds are in danger of falling sharply in value.”

Herewith the culprits, all of whom give investors fat distributions: Pimco High Income Fund (PHK) still trades at a 70% premium to net asset value. Pimco Global StocksPLUS & Income Fund (PGP) is at 68%. Pioneer High Income Trust (PHT) is 37% above NAV. All three funds are selling off by anywhere from 1.5% to 3.5% Monday in the wake of the article.

Those are extreme examples. The milder strain of the disease is everywhere, as Doherty explains. “Sixty-six percent of taxable bond funds and 73% of municipal-bond funds trade above NAV now, versus roughly 30% both a year ago and in 2006, before the financial crisis, according to Thomas J. Herzfeld Advisors, a closed-end specialist based in Miami Beach.”

It’s not as if investors can claim they didn’t know the dangers. Trouble has happened before. From the article:

The Gabelli Utility Trust (GUT) traded at a 70% premium to NAV just before it announced on Aug. 19, 2010, that it was reviewing its distribution policy. Investors rightly interpreted that to mean a reduction was coming. The shares tumbled to $5.58 by the end of that month, from $8.18, and the premium shriveled to 15%. The fund now trades at $8.03, a 42% premium. Gabelli Utility has returned 9.5% annually since inception in 1999, assuming dividends were reinvested.

This is happening.

Old fuckers in wheeled chairs are being flung into oncoming traffic, courtesy of out of control price to NAV valuations. Anyone remember the TVIX debacle?

Other high income ETFs getting hit include RCS, DSU, PCN, PTY, PFL, PFN.

This is the sort of carnage I do not appreciate. I like to leave the bond/income people alone. Next thing you know, they are on the teevee declaring “credit crises”– things of that nature.

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COAL, It’s What’s For Breakfast

Tomorrow is the Vice Presidential debate, which should be a gargantuan boon for lovers of “the other black gold” due to a predictable win for Ryan. Frankly, having a debate between a retarded neanderthal and a person who actually tries to do his job, suggesting plans and bills (things of that nature) is unfair.

Just know, if Romney gets elected, the head of the Senate energy commission will be (drum roll please)

SENATOR IMHOFE

Get your fucking bibles ready, ‘cuz the good Senator is emphatic when he says “God loves coal.” Okay, I am paraphrasing a bit there. But he did pen this wonderful book.

I must admit to thoroughly enjoy when politicians play scientist in their books.

In short, the market is a no good (heavy cantonese accent), stuck in a proverbial “fag box” until November. Expect draw-downs, but keep your chins raised high. For when this downturn ends, we will be smoking blunts made from cocaine laced marijuana again, topped off with 40 ounces of malted liquor, declaring “fuck you, you’re dead” to the shorts—whilst riding unicycles in the city square.

Until then, enjoy the mini-bear market.

TOP pick: ANR

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Futures Are Lower; Therefore, You Must Sell

I’ve been talking to you nerds since 2006. In about a month, iBankCoin will celebrate its 5th anniversary. The money generated from this website, which happens to be a pittance compared to my numerous financial interests, help to maintain and operate North America’s first ever civilian owned ORBITAL SPACE CANNON (OSC)– to be used for offensive purposes only. You should be proud to support such an endeavor. At first I found blogging to be stupid, then interesting, stupid again, insanely cumbersome, WTF am I wasting my time here?, and finally to “I am going to prove these cocksuckers wrong over and over again, and with flare.”

The one constant you will find here is this:

“The Fly” wins all the time, even when he is losing badly.

It’s not a fight unless you get punched in the face. I enjoy the back and forth with many of you, even the ones I ban for life, discarding you like deformed babies from ancient Sparta. Over the past 5 years, there have been numerous occasions when “The Fly” has endured set backs. Just last year I was 30% long WNR from $18 to $12. Instead of selling, I bought more, then rode that bitch/whore to $25. Several months ago, I had 40% of my assets stuck in YELP, amidst a social media blackout, crushed under the weight of “The Fuckbook,” enduring a share drop of $22 to $14. So I bought more, then rode that fucker back to $28 and gone. Ghost, poof.

Now you gander upon my mystical person today, set aflame by a number of stocks gone awry. It appears “Le Fly” has lost his cool, gone for good. For the love of dead dogs and rabid humans, he’s only +27% for the year.

But I have news for you, and it’s good. “The Fly” is now a coal man, fixed on making grandiose sums of money at the explicit expense of the Goldman Sachs “coal team’s” repute. Men like Andre do not stand a fucking chance against me. The winds of the market bend to my caprices. I’ve fixed my energy into the ongoings of the “coal trade” and will see it through to the very end, as God is my witness and SENATOR GINT will blog again.

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WALL STREET NO MORE

Everything is down 5%+, with marked exception to coal. For the day, I am down more than 1.6%, saved thanks to my ANR position and cash. But let it be known, this market is infected by zombies, who are hell-bent on eating your brains and stealing your coin.

At heart, “The Fly” is a coal man, only interested in the vagaries of anomalous events, uninterested in the obtuse.

Having a portfolio filled with shit is disheartening. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the obvious unfold three inches away from my face. All the while, Mrs. Fly discards currency as if it was trash, procuring items from the far east like a nabob.

Friends and enemies alike from the internet:

PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR THE END OF DAYS, YET AGAIN. There is very little in the way of a full fledged rout, with marked exception to a certain Benjamin Bernanke. Just 8% of hedged funds are outperforming the broader indices this year of the dragon. Take it upon yourselves to enjoy your time here and please don’t forget your topped hat, gloves and cane when deporting yourselves amongst society.

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Depressing Compression

If it wasn’t for my coal position climbing higher, I’d be sitting here getting my clock cleaned like the rest of you.

Since QE3 was announced, the market has been in a slump. You can paint the pig red, but it’s still a pig. Everything is going lower, led by AAPL. Even though the market is barely off its highs, the stock action is reprehensible.

I’m at a cross roads on many of my positions. My recent draw down has been swift, yet furious. If I sell, the likelihood of me getting back in before Halloween is slim.

It might end up being a VXX Halloween after all.

NOTE: On the five year anniversary of iBankCoin (11/12/12), a contest will begin for 12631 members only. The prize will be $2,000 and it will last until New Year’s eve. It’s a stock contest gentlemen. Prepare for games.

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GET ME THAT MAN’S NAME

Some analyst, obviously an Obama supporter, had the audacity to downgrade ACI this morning, even though Romney is up 4 in the polls and iron ore demand is on the rise. Clearly this beast of a man is working against your better interests. He’s trying to “vampire squid” the money from your portfolios so that his employer can finance greek junk bonds or malicious short sales against their own clients!

To downgrade coal here, ahead of the elections, is terrifically retarded.

I’d like you to get me this man’s name and bring it to me, so that I can award him an Asshat of the Week Award.

“The Fly” is generous in all things, liberal with money and opinion. However, when it comes to kindness towards men who are working against my interests, I am a miser of historical proportions. I will levy and tax, then levy again, until you’ve been washed out.

Coal, especially ANR, will be bought ahead of the elections, because its destiny is etched in higher equity valuations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zoi4bZcNuGk

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WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?

The professional money management apparatus likes to profess “low-risk” investments, while promoting fraudulent ipo’s–like FB, ZNGA, LOCK and GRPN. They tell you to “cut losses” quickly and “allocate assets broadly”–and to leave a little room for a social media secondary or two.

My greatest attribute is my willingness to be wrong. I am not scared of losses and often embrace 10% pullbacks, in order to buy more. Case in point: I recently sold out of my NFLX position that was worth millions because it was down nearly 10%. Typically at -10%, I make a decision: double down or cut losses. NFLX wasn’t central to my planning, so I sold. But the general principle remains constant: it fell in my boundaries of a big dicked average down. Had I done that, I’d be up 17 points in a week.

I’ll catch the next one.

The point here is this, very simply: ignore the bastards who always tell you to “be safe” and be willing to risk capital instead, especially if you’re young and reckless. Naturally, this advice is tailor made for people with high incomes only. Should you find yourself with 90% of your savings in stocks, living in a housing tenement, fully dependent upon a meager fixed income: ignore this post and go eat some pork roast and cheese.

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Getting My Loss On

“The Fly” is back to losing money again, getting my “loss on”, discussing such matters in a distinctly black accent (no Obama). By the way, who the fuck is Craig Hallum and why does that firm matter with regards to VHC? The stock is getting drilled because an analyst left the fucking firm? Excuse me but that sounds like bullshit.

Herb Greenberg loves to shit on VHC. I’m mostly out of the stock, having sold 95% of my position north of $28. I don’t feel like buying back in for two reasons.

1. Herb is rarely wrong on his short ideas.

2. I don’t like being a plaintiff, waiting for some fucking lawsuit to determine the fate of my investment dollars.

I like the story and respect the people who have held for so long. But frankly, it’s a bit convoluted for me and I’d rather not be involved at this time.

I have enough issues, such as 4-D losses in my fucking 3-D stock, DDD. Also, the chicken has gone bad, via PPC. And I’m generally half way retarded, wheeled chaired up, in a number of stocks, save ULTA, KIRK, OSG, ANR and APKT.

I’m just waiting this cocksucker out until the mystical magical powers that be slap the shit out of shorts, sending my shit higher.

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