iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,441 Blog Posts

PRESSURE

There’s pressure to buy, pressure to chase performance. Less than 10% of hedge funds are beating the indexes. Believe you me, there will be a race to get into “cheap names”, especially those with big short positions, into the holiday season.

After all, if you’re not going to buy stocks going into Thanksgiving, in a year when the market is +15%, what the fuck are you in the market for?

We’re cutting off dicks for the remainder of the year, gentlemen. The guillotines are now stationed inside of the city square, chopping off anatomy at a furious rate. Sack up and get in, else find yourself on the receiving end of a “dick blade.”

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31 comments

  1. Dickman

    Why do you mention dicks in every post? Is there something you want to tell us?

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  2. darkslicer

    ADDING TO MTG 2.09

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  3. V

    TOP PICK?

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  4. zookini

    $MOSY $KYTH

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  5. Sloop

    Is DECK your top dick,….I mean, pick?

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  6. SteveTheNeighbor

    “dick blade.”
    My brother Julian is a mohel and uses this in the circumcisions performed. He does very well. If anyone is interested look his Company up- A Cut Above The Rest.

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    • jimmy_two_times

      yeah, but how is he with smoked meat?

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    • figesmalls

      Keep your day job.

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      • SteveTheNeighbor

        My brother really is an expert with the dick blade.
        One time a male baby client of his was born without eyelids. So Julian took the leftover foreskin and grafted on perfect eyelids. A bit cock eyed but it worked.

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        • Half Blood Pope

          lol.

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          • MX2101

            One day at my old job there was a commotion in one of the offices. Turns out a female employee was having her labia pierced while lying on her desk.. Unfortunately this is no joke.

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  7. tm

    Now what are they going to do with all those shlongs? Make a casserole or something (No Paula Dean)?

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    • Randy Lahey

      What does that have to do with ZH?

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      • TD

        Tyler Durden from fight club, not the character from the movie who is used in ZH.
        Tyler Durden in the movie had “project mayham” which involved achieving “economic equilibrium” by destroying the federal reserve

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  8. JTU

    3:50 PM AK Steel (AKS +4.2%) announces it is increasing spot market base prices for all carbon flat-rolled steel products by $40/ton, effective immediately with new orders.

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    • jimmy_two_times

      stil holding, should have doubled down on the sell off .. oh well

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  9. JTU

    Wednesday, October 17, 3:47 PM Shares of Deckers Outdoor (DECK +6.3%) race higher with chatter circulating around that OTR Global sees sales in China improving. Squeezed on margins, the company needs demand to hold up so that it can avoid having to cut prices to clear Ugg boots from inventory.

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  10. The EyeTalian Stallion
    The EyeTalian Stallion

    Romney 2-0 over 0bama. We are about to witness the biggest rout since President Peanut Farmer got whacked by Dutch. 0bama gets five states maybe, then the gorilla cocaine rally begins.

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  11. Sir Robert Hooke

    SP500 at 1467 is a short entry for me.

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  12. JTU

    Finally dumped my OSG today(missed the fucking boat on that one). What a fucking nightmare! However, I’m making some of it back with recent holdings in DDD, TC and WNR.

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  13. OG

    MLNX getting punished AH. There are still shorts to be found. Too bad I’m not in this one.

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  14. Earl

    it’s SHOMP or chop.

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  15. Mr. Partridge

    hedge funds is so passe if I might say so…

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  16. I Like Ribs!

    I Like Ribs…. and TTC toro toro toro
    dickwads

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  17. JTU

    Australian shares climb as miners rally!

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