iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

CHARTFAGS GET THE FUCK IN HERE: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

I have a BAN on new users to comment on the blog and it has been that way for several years now — not because I hate you and want you to die — but because I haven’t gotten around to a site redesign and have been harangued by spam. In the event you feel like extricating yourselves from Twitter and other venues and comment on the olde blog here, if you have not been preapproved — you’re plum out of luck until I do the fucking redesign.

So now I will ask you, the unwashed reader, a question — one you cannot answer because you have not been approved for comment.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

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Markets Digest Recent COLLAPSE

I’ve been playing with this Chatgpt all day, the google killer.

Here is a poem it created for me.

Very lovely.

Markets are doing a lot of nothing, quite boring which usually means a fucking rampage is just beyond the bend. I, however, am not closing out hedges because I have hope, hope for a grimmer future.

At any rate, not much to report. Breadth is 52% and things can go either way.

Wish me luck!

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BULLS TRICKED AT OPEN, SELLING ENSUES

We popped as soon as the market opened to a large degree, luring in a fresh batch of permanent bulls into the markets furnace. We are now roasting them and selling down pretty heavily. The NASDAQ FUTS were sharply lower overnight -150+, then we popped up to +30 and now we are -75.

My prediction is as follows:

More trickery and then afternoon swan dive into an empty pool of rocks. I only have a 5% position in SQQQ, but reserve the right, BY LAW, to increase it up to 40%.

At this point in my life, I just want to see fireworks.

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BREAK THEIR SPIRITS FOR XMAS

This is exactly what is going to happen.

There is a sense of entitlement in this market — with a cadre of traders solely depending upon fantasy and dreams of success to magically produce before their very own eyes, which in turn will afford them extravagances which in turn will produce partners to fornicate with in acts of grave debauchery. Let me remind you, the idea you are deserving of anything is folly. You get what you deserve and whether you like it or not is grossly irrelevant.

To start the day, I was entitled and delighted to see gains of 2%. I caught a buyout with VVNT and my hedges worked and I just held 100% long waiting for the cadre of optimistic dip buyers to step in and bring forth gains of perversion. Instead, market longs were offered the Black Flag, no surrender. One by one I bore witness to my comrades receiving bayonets into their livers. To escape this fate, I smarty traded and made 11 day trades, with 10 producing profits. Had it not been for my trading, my day would’ve ended in misery with me feeling dejected and depressed. Instead I stand before you like a man in the gymnasium hopped up on HGH, anabolic steroids and caffeine, down just 41bps for the day.

My hunch, or my feeeeeelings, point to an idea of Christmas joy and stocked market rallies. But then I get to thinking about the Dow +20% the past two months and all of the scam and all of the fiction and come to realize the bulls are going to be broken into pieces this holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas of Hanukkah, or perhaps even the CIA holiday of Kwanza: you shall be dispatched Sir into the depth of hades where you will then stew alongside Jeffrey Epstein for a while before coming to the conclusion that it is over and the only appropriate course of action would be to SELL SHORT THE SEMICONDUCTORS, or long SOXS — as all men of means are doing right now as we speak.

Alas, I have been blogging for your pleasure since 2007 and have accurately predicted every single bear market, even the ones that never materialized. I am telling you now, so hear me loudly, WE SHALL FORTHWITH BE SHATTERED INTO PIECES on par with a Blackened Swan event that will darken your souls and blacken your portfolios with losses.

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CATASTROPHIC BEAR MARKET RESUMES

It’s not as bad as it looks: promise. You might be thinking to yourselves now “oh no what will I do?” Stocks are down 3%, give or take, and the month has only just begun. At this rate, markets will drop by 25% by the New Year, truly ushering in Centaurs to the NYSE to ring in the bell with the heads of decapitated traders.

But before you get all scared like a pussy, bear in mind the 10 1000 point rallies you have been ENTREATED to this year. It is your right for magnanimous rallies. You deserve it because you’re an American and democracy is the light. Ergo, just sit there and snort some more cocaine and wait. I am almost certain Fed’s Kashkari will say something to really get people going again. Hey, how about *only* 25bps for December instead of 50 or the dastardly 75bps? I bet you’d like that — wouldn’t you?

In many ways, 2022 was a bull market for stocks. Sure, we had periods of disarray and many Reddit tier stocks dropped 90%. But on the whole, if you were nimble, you got to enjoy, and savor, multiple THOUSAND POINT RALLIES, which were all, mind you, well deserved for a man of your stature and station.

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THE FLY IS BACK TO RECORD HIGHS

We are not trading like a healthy market ought to.

I got lucky this morning and caught a buyout with VVNT. I closed it out and will replace it after 12pm today. I also stepped in with a 31% weighting in SQQQ/TZA and closed them out, perhaps a bit too early. Nonetheless I’m up 1.5% at the open: back to annual highs or *55%.

It was suggested that I wish my haters, both imaginary and real, to die since I’m now rich again at highs and that’s the sort of thing one does when they want to make themselves feeeeeel better.

“Hey you over there, why don’t you drop dead, now seeing I am back to annual highs?”

But I’m not a monster and am without ego. So you may live and press on and continue to read my blog and get angry at my success.

I’m tempted to reapply my hedges since markets look like rotten hell. Maybe I should go for a walk as if to avoid it.

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WALLED STREET HIT WITH NIGHTMARE SESSION HEADING INTO CHRISTMAS

Let me elaborate on several items, so we are clear.

I never believed in any of the narratives that pointed to stocks going up. They are going down for a long long time and you’ll have to deal with that reality going forward. The idea we rally based upon the Fed sticking their knife only halfway into your heart instead of fully — IS ABSURD.

This is what is going to happen, with exact measure.

RETAIL SALES WILL MISS EXPECTATIONS.

THE CHINESE ECONOMY WILL IMPLODE, TAKING WITH IT EVERYTHING.

THE RUSSIANS WILL FIELD A MILLION MEN TO WAR WITH UKRAINE, DRAINING WESTERN RESOURCES TO THE POINT OF COLLAPSE

THE FED WILL STOP HIKING BECAUSE IT’S OVER. THE ECONOMY WILL SHRINK BY MORE THAN 3% NEXT YEAR.

Rallies are to be sold lads. If you’re dumb enough to believe in the fantasy of democratic capitalism, I have a laptop with the President’s son smoking crack with whores to show you.

I managed the session like a champ, +38bps — fully hedged via SQQQ and TZA into tomorrow’s almost assured collapse. Had I not been hedged and waited to reallocate to my weekly holds, I would have been down more than 250bps. But thanks to 4 for 4 day trades and a little luck, I escaped the market’s wrath and now stand before you, a towering and terrifying visage, which will haunt you in your nightmares as a reminder that it’s over and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

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COMMODITIES FUCKING IMPLODE!

Based upon the assumption of a tight Fed, oil and has prices, alongside every single other commodity in the world, have collapsed? Is that the narrative?

BULLSHIT

The only reason for a rout like this is SLOWING GROWTH and a crushing lower of GDP and earnings.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

So you mean to tell me wheat is down 3.4% because the Fed is MUHHHH hawkish? INCORRECT. The only logical assumption is the following.

Russian exports are at record highs and intermediaries like India are reselling to the places that need it. There are NO SHORTAGES of basic materials. Any slowing of growth will naturally hit prices because there will be lessened demand. That’s all there is to it. There are no real sanctions on Russia. Prove me wrong.

NASDAQ is -200 and I dodged the entire meltdown because I had gone to cash, BASED UPON SCIENCE, at the open. I am now 100% long, just closed out a monster SOXS hedge — and reserve the right as a tax evading citizen to apply more hedges into ze close.

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NEW WEEK, NEW FLY POSITIONS!

Good day

My new trading stratagem is in full effect today, as I sashayed out of present positions this morning for +74bps. I will be repositioning into WEEKLY holds after the 12 o’clock hour, not based upon superstition but science.

Above is an hourly chart of returns per hour for the QQQ since June. As you can clearly see, evidently, my decision to wait is based not upon hunches or rote base instincts, but eloquent and incontrovertial data science.

There isn’t much to say, since my opinion on the matter is no longer relevant. I have been absorbed into the Borg. My resistance was and still us futile. I will, however, supplement my positioning with day trades and hedges, something I am still quite able to willing to do.

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END HATE: IT’S TIME TO UNITE BEHIND A SINGLE GOAL

I have adopted a new banner, from which I will now resume a reign of terror not seen since the days of the crusades.

Believe when when I tell you, that flag you see above “might” be representative of some depraved gay subculture trend, but I have adopted it here as a unifying force for all people: the blacks, the jews, the orientals, the brahmins (no Dalits permitted), and of course the whites to ATTACK and defeat the most annoying group of people on the face of the earth: the bulls.

I think we can all agree, all religions and races alike, that our common enemy are these fucking bulls and their talking points to almost always, at all times, prefer HIGHER stock prices no matter the news or the condition of the economy. These people, in my estimation, pose a risk to mankind as a whole and need to be defeated.

In this day and age of hatred and divisiveness, there are bloggers out there, who also run trading rooms, who talk extreme levels of shit and draw wedges between people based upon any number of issues. There are rumors, at least I am told, that some of these bloggers even cast out his own readers and members based upon investment preferences of cartoons rather than stocks. I am not here to cast judgement on those aforementioned bloggers, but instead offer a unifying cause that even transvestites can get behind (pause).

Let us set aside our hatred and come together under that flag and KILL the bull market and everyone in it. This way, after it’s all said and done, we might live in peace and harmony without FOMC rigging and Goldman Ballsachs/ JP Morgan schemes.

Post Pax Americana, I intend to become a rancher of sorts, walk about my land with a large hat and a lasso, presiding over my cattle — squinting at wolves in the brush to fuck off and to not even think about eating my family of future steaks.

Anyway, I hope you have a nice weekend and enjoy the ladders you’re on for the Xmas decorations you’re programmed to display each and every holiday season — like retarded children festooning your homes with Satan Claws trinkets and fanciful fictional beings who come to life every year for the express purposes of imposing RUINOUS costs upon your person.

GOOD DAY!

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