You Just Bore Witness to the Largest Short Squeeze of All Time

None of it made sense, which is why it happened so viciously. The global economy stopped dead in its tracks, due to a deadly contagion, and stocks rallied because of it. Barely anyone can tell you with a straight face things are going back to the way they used to be — but it doesn’t seem to matter — at least not yet.

Word of advice, look for distribution days. The good olde boys club won again and will now reopen the economy and take refuge at their summer homes, while the plebs seek adventure on cruise ships and “amusement parks”, public pools, get sick and drop dead. A second wave is already happening in areas of the country filled with flu-bros and hydroxyFAGS, including my state of NC.

While I do believe we will trade higher on Tuesday, I also believe, rather fervently, we will RETEST THE LOWS and much much more. Time has been short and the violence of the counter-intuitive nature of the rally will dissipate. In its place, by fall, will be apathy — global depression, and indifference. Once the violence ends, so will the rally.

It was a typical day on Wall — morning fade led by foam mouthed buyers. I closed out my SOXS trade for +1.5% and went long a sundry of wonderfully horrible stocks. The net result, as you could imagine, was winship — on a scale you’ve rarely seen and most definitely have never personally endeavored to achieve.

Today’s gains.

SOXS +1.5% x3
VTIQ +9.2%
MARK +5.5%
RVLV +7.6%

Admittedly, MARK ran 10% after I sold — but we do not look back and we never regret anything we do. It is what it is and we don’t give a shit.

Into the closing hours of trade, I hedged and simultaneously bought a HEAP of shit. I closed out the day 55% cash — careful not to fuck myself — but aggressive enough to truly make a dent in my portfolio. When trading small capped stocks of low integrity, it’s important to have methods and rational thoughts. Only if I could share these ideas with you — why you could make some money on your own without assistance. However, that is not the case, for I do not TEACH ANYONE HOW TO TRADE. I feed people fish. Would you approach a neurosurgeon without any medical experience and say “teach me how to operate on brains?”

Of course you wouldn’t, so quit asking me to teach you how to trade.

Enjoy the weekend and be sure to celebrate my birthday, coinciding with the reopening of the economy. Maybe envelop yourselves with the prose of Le Fly via the purchase of his two AWARD WINNING books. Or, dare I say, consume some of the iBC Merch — maybe a Merlin mug or two, alongside ANNUAL Exodus plans for all of your loved ones. Either way you decide to reward House Fly for its unbelievable efforts, I tip my hat.

Rule #1 in the short sellers handbook says “Ye shall not short boring stocks that do not go down, especially when they should.”

If something doesn’t seem right, that’s because it isn’t. Had you listened to the advice in rule #1 in the short sellers handbook — you would’ve saved yourself a small fortune over the past 2 months. Sure, stocks “should’ve” traded lower — but they didn’t. Here we are in a boring Friday, post massive melt up, and the Dow is off by 120. But the VIX is flat, in spite of oil down 5% and the smallest of the smallest of caps are still catching bids. Dare I say this market does not want to trade lower?

I really want it too, especially since I have a 15% position in SOXS. Today is a Friday we all know markets do not bottom on Fridays — but the morning move has concluded and if we’re going to trade lower — it won’t happen now. If it does, it will trade lower after 3pm.

Ergo, time to cover said shorts and look for some reversal to the upside trades. What else is new?

Fuck NVDA. I am 3x long SOXS now and proud of it. Today I did nothing but waste time.

(ATOM -3.3%)
(NNDM -3.2%)
EB +7%

Net net, I am having fun. I would be having a lot more fun should the semis crack lower — as they should.

Pot stocks broke higher today. Everyone thinks CBD oil cures COVID-19. Time to get short.

The NASDAQ is presently down by 85 but there isn’t any need to worry. The Fed will simply print more and when the junk bonds go down — they will simply buy more. An interesting note out of Reuters today shows recent junk bond offering getting FLAYED — down more than 20% since priced. I am sure it’s just an aberration and ‘market forces’ will soon correct this dislocation.

I am cashed up, but also hedged — just in case. I bought 3 stocks today and have high hopes for them. But to be honest, there isn’t anything I am passionate about anymore. It’s all a facade and we’re all playing a game of whack-a-mole. If I made money on XYZ — it’s only because I was crazy enough to buy.

We’re in a fairly stable and predictable upward channel. $140 on the IWM should be viewed with trepidation — maybe. We might offer a jocular look lower for a day or two — but rest assured — the market is controlled higher.

Look at how fucking stupid it all is, now with the benefit of hindsight. Just a short while ago, I declared oil was a ‘worthless’ commodity. The only cost of it, frankly, was shipping it from point a to point b. Most of us on Wall Street flippantly laughed at it as the price struggled to remain above double digits. In less than a month’s time, the price has risen over 400% to $34, now pressing higher in an otherwise boring tape.

Oil stocks, however, are up about 30% over the same time period — because fuckery.

Stocks in general are healthy AF and if I didn’t know the reality on the ground, the joblessness and the specter of prolonged economic hardship, I’d say things looked great — based purely by the price action in stocks.

Once again, the stock market has proven itself to be its own entity, totally disconnected from fundamentals — a slush fund of liquidity gyrating rapidly whose purpose seems more political than a reflection of societal success. It is the all knowing, sum total of all of the thoughts and impulses that mankind has to offer and — right now — it’s suggesting things are ok — heading towards fantastic.

The past week has marked a new low in degeneracy on Wall Street, men and women chasing shit stocks directly into the furnace. After each closing bell, secondaries have bedraggled these people and removed them from their limbs — tossing their core into pits of fire to be devoured whole by goblin investment bankers.

I am not immune to this, having felled victim to a most RARE RAPING — the old intra-day HALT and secondary announcement. These do not happen with normal companies, only the worst. Today I sold out of HEXO for a 21% loss — after they RAPED me via secondary offering. As a matter of fact, I cleaned out a whole mess of poorly timed trades today for losses.

Today’s results.

(HEXO -21%)
(KC -8.5%)
(AQST -6.2%)
OGEN – wash
(SDC -4.1%)
(LL -5%)
(W -4.2%)
MFA +2.5%
(BYND -0.7%)
CDLX +1.2%
(CPRI -1.4%)

Very bad fish indeud. Poisonous to some. I was out all day, attending to a medical issue, and bore witness to my trading room inside Exodus cavorting in peak vagrancy, discussing all of the 100%+ intra day runners and then CIDM fell victim to a raping of course. I am certain one or two, maybe more, inside of The Pelican Room caught that blunt instrument to the cranium.

The Nasdaq is all but 450 points away from new RECORD HIGHS. None of it makes any sense and we’re all just playing along because it’s fun and because why the hell not? At some point the rapings will be too much for speculators to bear and the collapse will commence. Until then, Disney is re-opening! Seaworld is re-opening. Re-hirings are taking place! Communities are getting ready to sashay to and fro the shopping malls.

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The Dow has airlifted another 400, Nasdaq +200. Admittedly, my positions aren’t doing as well as I’d like to be, so I might need to doing a little redecorating. The notion that a total collapse of the global economy should press stocks lower is now viewed, widely, as a ridiculous absurdity. Why, COVID-19, for all of the death and misery and has wrought upon Main Street, has bee na STUNNING SUCCESS for Wall Street. Men in pinned striped suits and permanent cigars puff into the sunrise — leaving behind a world reduced to ash.

Since I am busy today, dealing with personal matters, I have been unable to trade and can only criticize my current positions as being wrong for this sordid tape. I can, of course, hold and wait for better optionality — or clean slate.

Into the late afternoon hours, I doubt we’ll see any major market turn. After all, WTI is back above $32, and the Dow is steam rolling towards 25,000. We’ve V-shaped the fuck up and that’s all there is to it.

Choosing to ignore my gut instincts and opting for more degeneracy, I now find myself 80% long, 5% short in an inverse ETF, and just 15% cash. My positions are something out of a horror movie. If we are heading back down, I will be annihilated on day 1. I am the front line solider with a rickety sawed off shotgun defending against a battalion of tanks heading my way.

Nevertheless, what can go wrong?

The Dow reversed lower and flatly fucked itself — off by 390. The Nasdaq dove 100 handles in the final hour to close down 50. I booked one trade, MARK +11.5%, and the rest was ALL BUYS.

Dare I say, I might be HOOKED? Stay tuned tomorrow for the final conclusion.

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We look around us and nothing but cinders. The world is crushed into black smoke and shards of metal. But straight ahead into the light of our screens is a world of wonder and fantasy. The stock market is lush with rolling hills of green grass and wild strawedberries. Fellow traders gallivant naked with hands filled with berries, skipping merrily into what appears to be an active volcano of magma.

We ignore the volcano and try not to look at it — because SDGR. Nevertheless, it’s still there, a menace, gray and billowing black smoke. At the center of the volcano, at least from what we’ve been told, is another alternate world where markets never rallied from 666. It is hell and we want no part of it. The rolling green hills of naked traders and wild strawedberries will do just fine.

Into the bell, I am turning my back to the volcano and gazing into the castle straight ahead, built from pink marshedmellows and guarded by homosexual unicorns. I will be just fine where I am.