iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,329 Blog Posts

I ARE BE HOOKED (Extra Andrew)

Choosing to ignore my gut instincts and opting for more degeneracy, I now find myself 80% long, 5% short in an inverse ETF, and just 15% cash. My positions are something out of a horror movie. If we are heading back down, I will be annihilated on day 1. I am the front line solider with a rickety sawed off shotgun defending against a battalion of tanks heading my way.

Nevertheless, what can go wrong?

The Dow reversed lower and flatly fucked itself — off by 390. The Nasdaq dove 100 handles in the final hour to close down 50. I booked one trade, MARK +11.5%, and the rest was ALL BUYS.

Dare I say, I might be HOOKED? Stay tuned tomorrow for the final conclusion.

GET YOUR HOOKED Ts in the iBC Merch store now. Coupon Code PEEPEETEE

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24 comments

  1. quietstorm

    You got a lure shop we don’t know about…

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  2. gtfo

    Do you have any Merlin shirts with “Poof! Your Bull$hit Rally Is Over”?

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  3. trumpmeister

    Bears shitter trap is on!!!

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  4. soupbone

    front ‘don’t laugh’
    back ‘I am recockulous’

    front ‘this Hamburglar is’
    back ‘Rotesque’

    whatever…nicely written post.

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  5. Mr. Cain Thaler
    Mr. Cain Thaler

    (Chuckle) some pumper is hyping a rumor that Amazon wants to buy JCPenney.

    Damn I’m going to read this fucking template sk many times over the next 18 months… they aren’t dven trying, just phoning it in.

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  6. peaches

    finance is a tool by which evil godless men convince one generation that paper is as good as gold. (1907 panic brings us the fed in 1913)

    the next generation is convinced that paper is better than gold. (1929 brings us 1933 gold peg readjustment and the end of a consumer gold window)

    the next generation is convinced that credit is as good as paper. (1971 window is closed period, wage growth and productivity are decoupled, credit cards now used for groceries and luxury cars and not small business capital expenditure)

    the expansion of credit expands the paper supply, which the banks use to buy up the gold that the population is now convinced has no value, because they are in debt, and because Roku calls have made the gold look like useless metal that pays no interest.

    the last trick is convincing the brainless population that Jews did it all… after which the government successfully manages to steal the gold from the only group of people smart enough to have held onto it instead of weimar bonds, or tesla stock, or whatever shit is in the bag the average peasant will be holding when King Richard decides its time to end the game of musical chairs. suddenly everyone forgets about swiss banks and london gold pools and wasps in the hamptons and buys the story that sarah silverman and rabbis that smell like onions are behind the rampant poverty and debt enslavement.

    the whole process takes a few centuries but it works everytime

    and voila. the same overlords are seen as heroes with their new gold currency and civilization begins anew.

    usury.

    back to your regularly scheduled gambles good sirs.

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  7. narcist

    Just went flat on silver at 18.14. The metals can use a decent pullback.

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  8. monkeybot

    Nah. Agree that the QE slosh has nowhere else to go except the markets (look at NVDA). But Rising QE tide is raising all the PM ships as well and allocation to PMs will continue apace. There will be some pullbacks and drafts down to shake weak hands but fully expect 3x like NUGT etc to tag 100 in coming weeks…

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  9. itsgold

    Markets don’t go down on bad news.

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  10. trumpmeister

    Like I said yesterday, bear trap. Bear shitters will be cooked today. The Powell put will be known very soon.

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    • Mr. Cain Thaler
      Mr. Cain Thaler

      It’s interesting that you should mention Powell, since he’s actually got an entire segment in his traveling speech circuit trying to make it absolutely clear that the Fed does not guarantee equity prices and never will.

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      • alty

        Would love to see a Cain Thaler greatest hits collection of predictions on the oil market from the past month. LOL

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        • Mr. Cain Thaler
          Mr. Cain Thaler

          That would be quite difficult to collect seeing how I have made no predictions on the oil market. Up until about 20% of the world’s oil supply got shut off, I was using it as a metric for tracking economic damage but it’s not that useful now.

          The only thing on the oil market I recall saying was not to touch it…and shortly thereafter oil went negative and dumb fuckers saw their $70K trading accounts turned into $9M black holes.

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      • trumpmeister

        He will fold like a lawn chair under the market pressure. So far, the strategy has been the same since 2008-2009. Juice up the market to hide bad assets and instill confidence for a consumer driven economy.

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