Markets Cannot Be Stopped

Markets are once again climbing, with the NASDAQ up by 40. The Dow is still lower — but for how long?

For the first time in weeks, I awake without any tasty fish. My cupboard is bare and there isn’t anything in my holdings up sharply. I’m mostly cash, but I did manage to catch a PIECE OF SHIT into a secondary filing, so that’s down 25% now. I have two options — sell and lick my wounds or DOUBLE DOWN. Normally doubling down on a POS is a bad idea, but sometimes it’s a good idea — especially after a filing of shares. I haven’t decided what I’ll do; so for now, I am doing nothing.

Since I am not participating in this rally, I have to go fish now and try to make up lost ground. Markets look incredibly SAFU and it’s amazing because we do not have an economy.

Who needs an economy when we have the Fed, right?

Bold enough to place my balls where my mouth is (NO HOMO), I would be remiss if I didn’t warn you against the idle notion of betting against this tape. It’s a rare event to see a stark reversal one day following a +900 point day. There is wind in the sails of all leveraged bull-tards now and you cannot stop the buying.

With the nearly 4% gain in copper, it appears a V SHAPED economic recovery is what we’re pricing in now, even though none of the actual forecasts suggest such a thing is possible. Just yesterday Goldman said Q3 GDP would be -30% and they no longer sought a full recovery for Q4. But who are we to fight such trends and happenings? I am merely a servant to fashion and right now I am tethered to the long side.

Although tempting to short shit to zero, the time isn’t ripe and wayward bets only serve to succor fanatical fantasies fueled by weakened emotions, all thanks and praise to COVID-19 — a stunning success!

On Friday of last week I went into the market with my cock and bought a bunch of stuff — heavily long, leveraged ETFs — the works. There were some of you out there who questioned my sanity and my market prowess. After all of the delicious fish I’ve served over the past decade plus, some of you chose, willingly, to bet against me.

The Dow is up 700, Nasdaq +200, WTI +9%.

How about deez nuts?

YCBD +40%
NAIL +22%
FAS +12%
NAK +8%
OPK +2.6%
CARS +6%
INO +4.1%
RWT +3.2%
SDGR +1.7%
TENX +4.5%

See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing. In this world, there are two types of people — those who fuck and those who don’t. Le fly fucks.

Commentary isn’t needed. Actions speak for themselves. The good guys won again. Godspeed.

Lots of chitter chatter on Friday by all of the FUCKERS on Twitter about Cherry Coked Buffett dumping his stake in Goldman. More or less, people equated this to a cast of doom about to be wrapped around the necks of investors. Come Monday, these monstrous people wanted necks fitted with nooses and markets limit down — all because old man Buffett decided to liquidate a little of this and a little of that.

Listen to me you ignorant fucks: He sold 84% of Goldman, but kept his 925 million shares of BAC intact, as well as his AAPL, AXP, USB, BK, and MCO holdings. Sure, he sold out of TRV and trimmed a little JPM and maybe some SY — but he also increased his PNC stake.

A man like Buffett is not to be replicated or taken very seriously on a short time horizon. Buffett is the American economy and moves in small increments, slowly accumulating wealth like a GIGANTIC FAGGOT, all the while drinking cherry chokes inside of his bathtub — etching out deals to save the financial system.

I only say this, obviously, because I am long FAS and do not want fear to crawl its way back into stocks before I had a chance to sell.

By the way, Exodus flagged an OS late last week and look what we have here — another way to win.

The good guys can’t help but to win.

It was a dizzying day, a panorama of chicanery and happenstance. Le Fly hemmed and hawed, kicked out of my upside ETFs in the morning — only to buy those fuckers back in the final hour of trade. I also positioned into complete and utter shit — betting on a nightmare for shorts.

Atlanta’s GDP is calling for a -42% GDP for Q2 — factored in fuckers. I want maximum exposure to banks and homebuilders — based upon the laws of bailouts, which states “whoever needs money, shall have it.”

On this news and future events, I am long FAS and NAIL, 20% cash — maximum bullishness now because of the absurdity of it all.

The fuck do I care at this point?

I had a lot of high bets gambles going at once, several of which bogged the fuck out today. The worst is APDN. I was up 19% intra-day on a day trade in it yesterday, slipped up and held thru earnings, and now I sold for a 7.5% loss. A lesser man would hold because his basis wasn’t achieved or because he feeeeeeelt like making money in it. I don’t give a shit about sentimentality and see things for what they are: rotten and awful.

Upside surprises all around.

Here were today’s closed out trades, so far.

(IMUX -18.6%) x2
(NNVC -10.8%)
(APDN -7.5%)
NAIL +13%
AHPI +8%
DVAX +7.1%
JNUG +9.3%
TNA +7.3%

The IMUX is my worst loss in sometime — happened after I chased a virus stock on after-hours news. I’ve made money before doing that — not today fucko. Today I took an L. I could hold all of these fucking stocks are feeeeeeeeel better about myself — but then I’d be just like you — wouldn’t I?

My macro calls were on point — the mysterious late day SOXL for TNA swap that had rookies in my trading room scratching their balls wondering the meaning of life. At the end of the day, a whole lot of nothing going on with this batch of trades — which is why I cut ’em loose, raised cash to 60%, in an effort to try again.

Many ways to win here. Extract what I can offer you now. Markets want higher. You may not want it or like it — but it’s still going to happen.

Today’s wins.

NVUS +44%
NVUS +15.3%
SOXL +4.3%

I positioned into a variety of picks, all of which are subject to secrecy to you — because they’re for Exodus members only. But I will tell you that I am KEEN on selling on the open. I am heavily long virus stocks, homies, and all various assortments. I do not like fading anything here. Even gold is going higher.

Oil gapped up by 9%. Stocks cannot keep their losses, so they went up. Not a big deal. If we are heading into depression, there will be plenty of time to get depressed. Until reality settles in, I don’t mind having some good spirited fun.

I ended the day up massively, 15% cash for just in cases.

We are OFF the fucking lows and people aren’t happy. Down 450 by 10am and now +80 and doom is cast all around me. I got myself long a varietal of assortments and have zero interest in shorting anything here, into what we will soon learn is a GREATER DEPRESSION.

I cannot reconcile it and I cannot fathom what is taking place. Like you, I am in the dark; but I unlike you — I will not fold or bend. Markets like this were built for me, poise under fire, fire under the house — drinking coffee amidst the cinders.

Do not fear anything, for life is eternal. Do what you can to make the time easier and place yourself, best you can, in a position to win.

If we are talking stocks, your best god damned chance is with me, vis a vis Exodus.

Virus stocks are the rage. I am lukewarm on just about everything else, but have positions on now betting for a bounce tomorrow. If I get one today, I will consider it to be gravy.

Unemployment claims came in at another 3 milly, placing a total of 36 million Americans directly into the shit-box since March. On this news, stocks went down, shockingly. We were off more than 300, now just 180. The way this is supposed to work is Main Street suffers under the weight of champagne bottles delivered to Wall Street.

Yesterday on Twitter, RIP Capitalism was trending. I found most of the tweets amusing, all bedraggled Communists with a RED AGENDA. Here on Wall Street, we simply produce MOAR gains in order to finance extravagant lifestyles — the American way.

Oil is up more than 3%. Goldman says it’s going back to $65. I see no reason to panic — yet.

Here were today’s overnight gains.

NVUS +44%
NVUS +15.3%

See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing.

I was trading like a king. I was out there in front of everyone, body chiseled like a fucking Roman statue — flexing. I had taken CODX in the 18s, kicked it out over $20 in an hour. It was simple. I merely had to tap into my God given rights and make money. I jimmied my way into SLGG and then GNUS — because Kartoon Channel and chicanery.

The GNUS was doing fine, working its way higher. My gains were greater than 25% on an intraday scale and then BAM! — off with my fucking head in SLGG. Those bastards thought it’d be nice to RAPE the entire shareholder base on the LARGEST VOLUME DAY in company history with an offering. Oh, an offering you say? Indeud.

I ended up selling for a loss of almost 27%, completely off setting my magnificent gain in GNUS, which as you know was genius. The SLGG was like an act of God — no way of avoiding such rapings.

The market closed down 500, 200 off the lows. I do not have strong convictions about tomorrow, so I am mostly cash, 65% without any hedges. I do, however, now own several insane virus stocks — hoping for some continuation.

Crazy times call for a crazy leader. I am your man.