REMAIN FOCUSED

The US 10yr is down another 9bps. Natty and oil are crushing lower. The markets are not crashing. And, the dollar is down nearly 3% in the past month. All of this suggests a somewhat calm atmosphere for equity holders. I am sure there are many shoes to drop and are looming heavily in the balance. But we must admit when things looks good — otherwise our words lose meaning when things are truly bad.

I am 80% long into the close and optimistic for stocks to severe the heads of many bears. I have shifted my allegiance according to an evolutionary desire to survive. For those still mangled in their short positions waiting for resolution, just know that your sacrifice is appreciated and your cause was just. You’re just too stupid to figure out how to pivot; ergo, natural selection tossed you broadside.

Perhaps they were busy trying new marijuana blunts or sipping on some malted liquor whilst watching the foolsball game. But for whatever reason, retailers were spared the rope this BLACKENED FRIDAY WEEKEND, where companies like Target pretended to have items on discount but they were actually the same exact price as ordinary Thursday.

Nevertheless, the shoppers did their duty and stacked up more credit card debt to purchase new toasters and vacuums. There was one small looting event of note — this one in LOS ANGELES — modern day Sodom.

But what is $12,000 for a giant billion dollar retailer like Nike anyway? Mere seashells. They’ll drive their Vietnamese labor force to work extra hours for even less pay and reneg on shipping contracts and raise prices in affluent areas to make up the difference. People are CLAMORING for the new Nike Air Jordan’s — because they too want to be like Mike and slam the ball into the hoop and win the game!

Markets are sanguine in the face of the news, mildly higher and retailers are standing out. Like I said, a sigh of relief is being displayed today.

In more important news, in his way, Putin told the world the American LUNAR FUCKING LANDING was a fraud. What say you?

Since it’s the holiday season of consumerism, and since I often get this question sent to me: I’ll answer it here and now for all time.

What is the difference between Stocklabs Basic and Pro?

The Basic plan includes:

Full access to technical and fundamental ranking systems, seasonality, valuation data systems
Full access to my portfolios, picks, and community chat inside the Pelican Room
Full access to mean reversion algorithms
Full access to news wire

Pro plan includes:

All of the above, obviously.
Full access to volume tools, designed for day trading and swing trading.
Full access to high speed alpha tools, which are screens used for day trading.
Real time Intelligence algorithms, backtesting algos using real time tech scores to glean into the future.

Essentially, if you want the full power of the Stocklabs platform — go pro. There are numerous upgrade capabilities for an additional $40 per month. If a miser and cheap with money, at $59 per month you get access to community, Fly, and all of the basic things inside the platform — but your screening abilities will be limited because the screener is designed around some volume trading tools.

I’d love for most people to want to join for the software — because it’s great and I placed a lot of effort in creating it. But I know you son of a bitches mostly join for my ideas — since you’re all lazy and not good enough to trade on your own.

Here are my portfolio concepts.

The Quant: allocated into 20 equal weighted stocks once per month, which uses the algorithms to switch between value and growth in order to achieve maximum risk aversion results. This is a concept I adjust over time, with the stated goal of dying and having it invest my money post mortem.

Fly Holdings: My day trading and tactical account. This was seeded in late 2020 at $100k and because I’m s good, it’s much higher now. Nothing new under the sun. I’ve been bowling on my competition (there isn’t any) since 2007.

Strategic Holdings: This small account used to have a different focus — but a few months ago I changed it to house my strategic ideas, which are longer term investments designed for people who work jobs and can’t trade 75 times per day. Since managing it under this new goal, the account is about flat.

Tesla Focus: Stated goal here is to pretend I work at Tesla and invest in the stock monthly, as if contributing to a retirement plan. This is a high conviction investment for me. I will be expanding this account to include another high conviction investment in 2024. Most of you who are Stocklabs members already knows what stock I am talking about.

REASONS TO JOIN: You are certain to become a better trader, investor and person. You gain 24/7 access to me and my unhinged rants and a community of like minded individuals. We are down to maybe just 2 or 3 LIBSHITS, as I’ve killed the rest of them. And, the best part, all proceeds go to me — which is a noble thing to do. If malleable to my stratagems, I will will you to win and succeed in this rat race. The people who quit Stocklabs got wiped out CLEAN because they joined to NOT LISTEN TO ME and went off on retarded market excursions. Also, some people got transgendered surgery and a few others were relegated to the kitchen by their Brahmin husbands.

Good day (we are not running a fucking Black Friday deal. This is not Walmart Sir. We are high finance).

Good day —

I think I had too much to drink last night because today I made leftovers and they were fantastic. The idea that I could produce SUB PAR food was of course far fetched and today’s servings proved that The Fly is still very much a master chef. In addition to that, I have various other talents, such as the following.

I was a MASTER baseball player in school, DL’d due to torn rotator cuff

I am a superb writer

I am a MASTER INVESTOR

I am something of a mixologist

I am also a coffee aficionado

I am, additionally, a wine connoisseur

I am an expert in bro science, cutting and bulking at will

I consume information at an industrial rate: top 1% of Audible and Spotify listeners, avid book reader with detailed research into classics.

I am a cinephile, EXPERT on all things to do with movies, with a keen appreciation for classics. I once binge watched ALL Orson Welles media, including movies, interviews and movies never released, and Cary Grant, Bogart and many others.

In my spare time, I build WORLD CLASS investor tools and help absolute morons achieve financial success inside Stocklabs.

There will NOT be a BLACKENED FRIDAY “deal” for people to gain access to Stocklabs. When you do something well people should pay up. I might raise prices today just to keep the beggars out.

Here I am rambling again, forgetting the whole point of this blog — which was to warn you of looters descending upon America in search of inventory. I am no longer interested in writing about it, so I’ll fuck off now.

I closed +33bps for the session, 40% cash, hedged with $TZA in “cyber Monday,” which is fucking retarded. We will offer a 0% discount for Cyber Monday too.

I like to think of myself as a “MASTER CHEF”, able and willing to produce the finest fare in my house. My kids would not agree with this attestant, but then again — why trust their opinions over mine?

Yesterday Mrs. Fly and I worked really hard to cook everything and season the food the way we have always seasoned our Thanksgiving meals since the beginning of time. But, at least from my vantage point, it all came out rather drab and sub-par. I don’t even know what happened and how it happened but even my AWARD WINNING brown gravy came out terrible. I was served a giant Turkey leg, as if I were some sort of barbaric fool — and it tasted SUB-PAR, dry even. The homemade CRANNED BERRY was mid; and even the god damned mashed potatoes were dry and lacking flavor. I know my wife tends to UNDER-BUTTER them and it showed.

Where was I when this all happened? I cannot remember.

I will say, however, my gains are pretty good today, +60bps. It is NOT a consolation prize, as I want a do-over for Thanksgiving, a chance to make it better and enjoy the flavors of the season.

At any rate, I am all in bullish here but will modify this approach into the close and most likely toss a hedge on the barbie. It’s worth noting today’s breakout in the small caps is fughazi and should not be trusted.

I wrote this Thanksgiving Guide back in 2012 and over the years people always asked me to repost it. Since I’ve recently taken up with AI narrated videos, I thought I’d bring the old blog into the modern era with a few videos.

Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving.

SIRS —

I tried many things today until one worked. I ended up taking 10% sized positions in the top rated stocks inside Stocklabs and hedged that with $SQQQ and $TZA and came out at SESSION FUCKING HIGHS. It was fun to play and even better to have won. The Gods answered by prayers and bestowed the gifts of the plenty unto me, and the wrath of vengeance on those betting against me.

I’ve revised my opinion for BLACKED FRIDAY to neutral — but maintain a terrible forecast for all of December. You might thing we’ll make it — but we won’t.

Today we cook and prepare for tomorrow’s feast. We will drink wine and celebrate the annihilation of the savagery from the Americas — the ascendency of Europeans — forging an empire out from the woods and the marshes. When I saw “we will drink” to these things, I mostly mean just me and to myself — since no one else in my family shares of my ideals.

DO NOT WORRY — it’s not all that serious and I concern myself with other things in much greater detail. I am a very serious internet person — but much more affable in person where my interests are wholly concerned with family and having a good laugh.

Speaking of which, I will be laughing all the way to the fucking bank when PAX AMERICANA crashes into 2024 and you’re all festooned with losses — crying in the comments section about how you were tricked and fooled, cajoled even, into believing in the bull.

Those days are interminably over and all we have now are whims, rumors and hope.

Happy thanksgiving to all and be sure to check into iBankCoin tomorrow, where I intend to convert one of my classic Thanksgiving posts into video.

Cheers.

Before I go into holiday mode and fuck off, I got an idea whilst walking the dogs to LOAD THE FUCK UP on the highest rated stocks inside Stocklabs — hedged with some shorts. This way, I can’t lose. My longs will go up and the shorts will go up and I can achieve and unlock UNLIMITED MONEY HACKS.

With my new found fortunes, I might do aggressive takeovers and tell people about it AHEAD OF TIME to get them arrested and tossed into prison. For me friends, I’ll refrain from having them arrested, as I am honorable in this regard.

I do believe, down to the very core of who I am as a person, STOCKS WILL COLLAPSE on Friday. I also believe December will be a meaningless month, forgetful and a waste of time. I will use December to pad my year to date gains, which now stand at an impressive +49%.

Actually, I only say that to boast, when in fact my real feelings are much less secure. I do not feeeeeel any sense of achievement for 2023 and if being honest — I could’ve been better, done more. Some hedge fund managers out there would sell their souls to the devil to attain my knack for trading. I don’t think it’s really a big deal. Anyone with an IQ over 115 can trade like me, if properly motivated.

Into the balance of the session, I want things to go my way. I was just +15bps and now I’m down 12bps, as my new stratagem is turning my fortunes and smile upside down.

What did I say I’d do yesterday? If you recall I believe I said something akin to “when stocks open up tomorrow I’ll sell them and sell short into BLACK FRIDAY based upon looters” and I did none of that. As soon as markets opened the fuck up, I was in there catching deals for new stocks. I was merry and fat and slovenly, +45bps. Nothing could go wrong, as the homosexuals at $NVDA beat the street.

I went to get some coffee and fucking BAM — my hands had been chopped the fuck off clean. I am now down 47bps in frightful pin action, as the world gets sucked into a vortex and shares of $NVDA careen lower. It was supposed to be splendid, joyful even. I was even planning to toast to NATO tomorrow before Thanksgiving meal, to praise them for “protecting the planet from Russia” and helping restore a “rules based order.” NOW LOOK AT ME — BEDRAGGLED BY LOSSES YET AGAIN.

I will not sell or panic. I will wait for better treatment, better prices. I am certain if I just sit here and wait, things will work out. I might even have to hold into BLACKENED FRIDAY and hope the looters change their minds about stealing all of the inventory, as it is the right thing to do.

If possible, say a prayer or two for House Fly and ask the Lord to help me make some more money at the market, as I am in dire need of a new coat and need a little luck here.

It was one of those days that if you started down you stayed down. Volatility collapsed to nothing and intra-day ranges were all but non-existent. I did manage to make 5% in an $ANF trade — but other than that I spun my wheels and went nowhere fast.

To be clear, I have my fork and knife in my hands and I am eagerly sitting at the table, napkin tucked tightly into my shirt, waiting to be served. I worked hard all year, talking shit here, offending people on X. I want what’s coming to me now.

I closed the session downtrodden and bedraggled by losses, off by 108bps. I kept a 111% long position and fully expect to be rewarded for my bullishness tomorrow. If fortunate enough to relish in gains, I will immediately sell and sell short for BLACK FRIDAY — based on my assumption the looters will go absolutely crazy and destroy company inventory with their self imposed reparations.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do not make these things up. I’m merely a mirror reflecting to you what’s happening in society. We have nothing to live for but today, so make the best of it and know the things that you thought were promised to you have been stolen and if you want to get them back — you’ll have to fight for them.