Bullish Action That I Want No Part Of

I don’t care what the market does from here. I could care less what you fucking homos are saying on “Twitter,” regarding new buys/sells. I’ve successfully defeated the worst market in 1,000 years, booking gains of more than 60% last year and 25%, so far, year to date.

As far as I am concerned, the only advice that I should be taking is from Senor Tropicana, Plutonium Petey and or course HORATIO CLAWHAMMER, or MR. CLAWHAMMER to you.

The action in oil is very bullish, I must admit. If I were you, and I most certainly am not, I would resist shorting oil here, for something is amiss.

I try to reason with many of you, explaining the intricacies of the market and how to make money using gray matter. But, all you fuckers seem to understand is “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE DEAD” jargon. So, with that in mind, I will tell you, at this moment in time, going long now, following the recent run, is equal to putting your cock inside a mini guillotine, thinking your manhood is made from 100% tungsten steel.

If forced to buy something, I’d look into a little UNH action, down at these levels, considering HUM is ripping. Other than that, “The Fly” is all about eating sandwiches and mocking degenerate OTB guys, while throwing jumping jacks from the backseat of a stretch, 1980’s style, limousine.

As you know, I keep it old school.

I went to 100% cash or as close as I can get, barring some long term positions.

I sold all of my JRJC, between $9.47-9.77

I sold all of my LOGI, between $8.77-8.80

I sold all of my AXP, between $12.93-13.17

I sold all of my KIM, between $9.27-9.35

I sold all of my PCR, between $12.51-12.70

I sold all of my NTGR, north of $11.05.

And, finally, I sold all of my UYM, between $10.07-10.20.

NOTE: Today concludes week 1 of iBC’s March Madness Contest. If I had someone competent enough to manage it, you’d be getting updates and shit. You know, keep you in the loop. Nonetheless, just know, “The Fly” vanquished his round 1 opponent and will be moving onto round 2, indeud.

Everyone in the business knows CNBC is full of shit. But now it’s getting interesting, as regular folk start to see through their bullshit, which will inevitably result in the networks demise. Write it down.

Tonight Jim Cramer embarrassed himself, with hat in hand, as a guest on the Jon Stewart show. Seriously, dude, why fucking going on the show, if you are going to act like a pussy?

Cramer allowed himself to be humiliated for no good reason. I have never seen anything like it.

Personally, I was emphatic about seeing this interview, due to the assholishness broadcasted on CNBC day and night— who regularly apologize for corporate criminals and first class douchebags. In an odd twist of irony, mixed with woeful inadequacy on behalf of the media, it took a fucking clown on a Comedy channel to bring Cramer into the public view, to deliver a much deserved “he-man bitch slap.”

Finally.

UPDATE: Here is the Stewart vs. Cramer vid.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4j69NKJqwM 450 300]

Okay, we caught a 10% jump off the lows. My gut says we rally until May. However, we will not run up in a vertical line. So, with that in mind. I sold out of my entire TNA position, in an effort to decouple myself from 300% upside etf fuckery.

Selling TNA gives me some buying power to nibble on other names. But, I would rather wait for a pullback, considering we are still in a bear market and all. Right now, my cash position is north of 60% and my gains are north of 23% aka “more than you.”

God willing, the market gaps up tomorrow, enabling Senor Tropicana to sell more of his well timed longs, just in time for a glorious weekend.

NOTE: My AXP ripped higher, despite multiple downgrades. Fuck you Goldman. Fuck you Citi.

I sold my entire TNA position, between $14.60-14.74.

Don’t step to “The Fly” with stupid shit, you wretched women. I am bowling on you assholes, hitting strikes and such, while you’re over there getting crucified in your shorts.

I warned you to never bet against my fucking time machine.

Much to your chagrin, you now understand, “The Fly” does not fuck around, when it pertains to managing money. Sure, others have hot hands and make decent calls. But, let it be known, no one on this stupid planet has the investment acumen of “The Fly,” not Bill Miller, not you.

Thus far, I have sold nothing. I am long egregious amounts of TNA, UYM, AXP, PCR, KIM, LOGI, NTGR, amongst others, and do not give a fuck about Great Depressions or “spiraling economics,” at this moment in time.

For now, I shall rejoice in the splendour, known as “space alien magician trading,” only found on iBC, not to be confused with the many imitators and player haters across the internets.

Guns and drugs are in style these days. Whether it be SWHC, RGR, DNA or TEVA, Wall Street loves it, mainly because we are drowning in debt and people are ready to start shooting each other for a bowl of grapes.

As an aside, I’m up to my old tricks, winning again. My gains in TNA are terrific. My future gains in PCR will be grande.

Into more strength, I will sell these bitch of a whore stocks that I own, in exchange for cash. Then, I will sit down in my “fancy chair” so that I may watch the cash, in all of its glory.

I will let you in on a little secret, which I am happy to share with some of you: The Moon of Mars are aligned so perfectly, it would take a nuclear detonation on Wall Street itself to stop the current rally. Betting against such unfolding events does not look like bravery, but madness.

I will never forgive DPZ for putting me in the hosptial. Ever.

Good day.

About 3 weeks old, yet still brand fucking new. Funny how that shit happens.

UPDATE: Alpha penned a fantastic post.