Bears Step Into Glorious Murderholes

In the words of a true legend, Leonard Dykstra, “I made cash, bro, all thanks to my cashmere, dude. It was the fucking cashmere (fart) that made the market go up.”

Contrary to what you may think, I do not like all of the giddy, school girl shit, which is infused into current market sentiment. Eventually, the magic carpet will be taken from you lucky bastards,absconding all of your principal with it.

However, until that day comes, I will enjoy, with great vigor and tenacity, kicking you idiot bearshitters, into large murderholes, whereby your carcasses will be devoured by rogue robot crocodiles.

For the day, I made coin. You should be concerned with the affairs of “The Fly,” for he is way out of your league. Just know, my gains reach close to 30%, year to date, and my book of business has never been better.

Tonight, I intend to dine on a 2 1/2 inch ribeye, medium, heavily salted, lightly peppered—washed down with a fine Bordeaux.

In light of the stupid stress test non-results, I am taking off some risk here, selling ALU, JDSU, amongst others.

Clarification: I am taking profits on some names, while buying others. In other words, I sold ALU/JDSU, but bought some ATHR ($16.68). I own a lot of small caps and need to eventually unwind them, in order to preserve gains/not give any back and get back to normal stocks aka stocks with market caps worth more than 2 billion.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 CECO @ $21.59, 5,000 ATHR @ $16.68 and 10,000 PCX @ $5.01.

UPDATE II: One more small crap buy, 30,000 LVLT @ $1.07.

UPDATE III: I sold out of ASX.

UPDATE IV: I bought 10,000 ATHR @ $16.90

–Done for the day.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I implore you to consume massive quantities of single malt Scotch, then proceed to “do the Karate Kid (crane kick)” on a variety of short sellers. You may pursue them up to 200mph in your tier one sports cars too, if necessary.

As for me, well, I’ve been busy sort of “roaming” the confines of my office, dressed in a white robe and sandals, while flicking cigar ashes at some of the lesser quality 3rd tier blogs on the internets. Oh, aside from that, I’ve been banking coin.

See Ladies, that’s what investing is all about: anticipate your enemies move, then crush him under a pile of horse manure.

On a much more serious note, “The Fly” is NOT pleased with the action in CROX, thus far. Now, it is possible for that bitch of a whore to redeem herself by the close of trade. However, at the moment, I am not enthused.

With regards to my other holdings: splendid!

Long STAR, LVLT, TBSI, OVTI, ASX, ALU, CECO, ARUN, CAVM, NVLS, JDSU, PCX and SONS has me thinking about running for Mayor. Congrats to all of you who played RUTH with Lord Ragin Cajun. Nice work.

Some other names worth perusing include: BGP, PQ, RNWK, LSI and EK.

UPDATE: I bought another 50,000 SONS, between $1.80-1.83.

I bought 30,000 SONS @ $1.78

This is an unbelievably, comedic, sad, pathetic, riveting article. An instant classic, regarding the wonderful life and times of none other, Lenny Dykstra.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beSqbJSXHuI&feature=channel_page 550 400]

All kidding aside, you fuckers need to subside with your “SOS style” of investing, watching every tick like a fucking stock monkey. I don’t mind you fucking with me, making fun of my prints. But, geez, if you people pass judgment on your positions on such a short time frame, I insist you get the fuck off margin and take a real job—mop a floor or some shit.

As for me, I made coin, based upon the shadows near my favorite urinal and the voices in my head.

Basically, I think the market can go higher, but I am not betting my life on it. Your meaningless book of business must not be compared to “The Fly’s,” for I am able to own stocks for a period longer than 30 minutes. The problem, as always, stems from your lack of funds and/or insistence on building portfolios based upon idiotic moving averages or asinine pivot points.

Truth be told, investing is an art and I am the Picasso of this game, while you’re just fucking around on an etch a sketch.

I bought 30,000 PCX @ $4.76. And, I bought 10,000 LVLT @ $1.01.

I wanted to take a few minutes out of my Godly day, in order to update the proletariat, as it pertains to my ongoings. There is much said on these hallowed grounds, most of which is nonsensical and better suited for the stairwells of inner city public high schools.

As much as I cremate you, via outstripping your market performance, I do appreciate your presence. After all, if you were not here to read my unearthly prose, I’d be talking to myself. Come to think about it, that’s not a bad idea. It may bring peace and rubber walls into my life.

Enough with the teary eyed soap opera jargon. Here are some of my fucking positions (randomly placed):

ALU, CROX, LVLT, CAVM, STAR, NVLS, TBSI, OVTI, ASX, CECO, ARUN, CDNS, JDSU, SRS, FXP, FAZ

My approach is simple: take profits when the voices in my head tell me to sell. And, add to current positions or initiate new ones whenever I see my shadow, while relieving myself at my favorite urinal.

It’s obvious the market is having a difficult time breaking through 8,000, mainly due to men with small brains and straight rulers. Nonetheless, I view these dips as opportunity to leg into positions, namely in distressed tech and/or retail. Call me a banana salesman if you must, but I am not selling my [[CROX]] position here. As a matter of fact, I added to it this morning. However, I did balance out my karma, by selling [[ODP]] for a half way egregious profit.

I think it’s possible to see 500 points down, but 1,500 points up, within the next 3-6 months. I know the employment issue persists. However, I have faith in government criminality to lead the way. But, with part of the stress test results looming in the balance, it is possible we will sell off into that fuckery, but then reverse higher after the faux report is released.

Despite a myriad of good earnings, for the most part, tech is weak this morning, with the semis leading the way lower. I like the sector, but will not buy too much on the initial leg lower. As you know, those bastards can slice 20% off their respective share prices within days. It’s best to sit patient and buy at a measured pace.

Within tech, I like CDNS, ALU and RFMD, on dips. I like many other names too. But for now, those are a few I am eyeballing. In all fairness, ALU is a name that I will probably be buying over a long period of time, barring a fucking black helicopter assassination of their CEO or parabolic move up.

To sum up my feelings, as always, The Great Fuckery will clip your balls and use them to play pool, if you are not careful. Do not misconstrue sharp market gyrations as definitive moves. If we have learned anything, it is: do not believe your eyes, unless of course you can taste them (that made no sense, on purpose of course).

NOTE: I am long a small amount of STAR, but will not be adding any into earnings.