Enjoy the Leg

We’re in the midst of a down leg and it feels like the world is about to end. It’s always so damn hard to sell at the top and buy at the bottom. That’s why you are supposed to raise cash when times are good, in order to buy when things are bad.

Despite the market cracking lower here, I am in no rush to buy more stock. As a matter of fact, had I exercised a little more caution, I would not be “enjoying” the broken elevator action in both Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] and Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] . Nevertheless, this is exactly what the dip buyers have been begging for, a damn dip.

I have a short list of stocks on my buy list, including Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , Aracruz Celulose SA (ADR) [[ARA]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , IAC/InterActiveCorp [[IACI]] and [[MWW]] .

Essentially, if you are going to play this game correctly, you must stick to a thesis and a strategy. At the moment, my strategy is long only, focused on Foreign and Technology stocks, with trading exposure into the commodity space. In addition, due to the recent market run, I have made it a point to hold a 20%+ cash position, at all times.

I will begin relinquishing such said cash as soon as The PPT gets into the 2.20’s, which should be shortly.

NOTE: Consumer staples are very strong, check Colgate-Palmolive Company [[CL]] , The Clorox Company [[CLX]] , Church & Dwight Co., Inc. [[CHD]] and The Procter & Gamble Company [[PG]] .

Let’s be honest, the blackberry is a piece of crap. I have a blackberry and my wife owns an iPhone. Without a doubt, owning a blackberry is like having an Atari, while she has a PS6, some space aged device. Essentially, the blackberry is just a stupid email box/phone, while the iPhone is God. Nonetheless, due to primal pride, I shall not buy an iPhone, since that would be equal to caving into Mrs. Fly’s taunts. It’s like going to a restaurant and ordering the same dish; that makes no sense. If she orders the chicken, I will order steak and vice versa.

At any rate, the market still sucks. Luckily I am blessed with millions of dollars in buying power and will exercise such powers, shortly.

For broader market commentary and lessons on life, please grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the video below.

Many of you are discussing the traffic stats of CNBC, which were down 50% year over year, like small idiots with microscopic brains.

HELLO, ANYONE HOME?

Last year this time, the world was ending. Just so you know, when the world is in the process of literally ending, media does great. For example, the Godly folks at iBankCoin enjoyed record traffic in the fall of ’08. Year over year, despite killing this market like a small rat in a Bronx housing project, our traffic has dropped by 20%—like most big blogs in the financial genre.

So, the lesson for today, do not judge a book by its cover.

You may now continue the important discussion of “for vaccines and poisonous mercury” or “against modern medicine and its grande glory.”

Early yesterday, I ran a custom screen on The PPT, trying to identify stocks or ETF’s that were ripe for a bounce. Much to my surprise, not one equity was produced from the screen, just dastardly inverse ETF’s. Today, the top three stocks in my “Bottom Feed” screen are [[BGZ]] , [[EDZ]] and [[EEV]] . Without a word, foreign related stocks are being poleaxed.

At the present the Overall Hybrid score is at 2.31. Historically, whenever the score dips into the 2.20’s, the market bottoms out. We shall see, once again, if this indicator holds true.

The top three stocks, based solely on technicals, are [[JADE]] , [[BONT]] and The Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company The Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company [[GAP]] . The top three, by hybrid score, are [[JADE]] , Sinovac Biotech Ltd. [[SVA]] and Ultra Clean Holdings, Inc. [[UCTT]] .

The top industry is Major Oil and Gas. Within that industry, BP plc (ADR) [[BP]] and Exxon Mobil Corporation [[XOM]] are top ranked.

The top three ranked ETF’s are [[MWN]] , [[PVI]] and [[SSG]] .

In addition, [[UUP]] is showing up on most of my bullish screens, leading me to believe the dollar can still go higher from here.

All of these things point to negativity. However, I do believe the market is oversold here. As a matter of fact, a reading of 2.31 is pretty darn close to the “must buy zone.” My sense, sometime very soon we will bounce, effectively depositing our bearish friends into the old “jam-box” for further analysis.

With my money, I am waiting for a little more carnage, especially because I am 80% invested. It is not a grande [sic] feeling, being on the short end of the money pole. Nonetheless, I can’t go back and forth between cash and stocks all the time. People, in real life, might get the wrong idea and think I am a freakin’ lunatic.

As an aside, the Board of Ed is giving away free h1n1 and flu shots to NYC students. This will be a catastrophe. It is unbelievable to me that the Board of Health could be swayed by a few stupid drug companies, allowing some experimental vaccine to be injected into students k-12. As far as I see it, they should be focused on having the children wash their hands more, than messing around with retarded vaccines that DO NOT WORK. I repeat, the flu shot is a scam.

Back to the market:

I am going into earnings with Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] . I do not suggest taking unnecessary risk, by copying my trade with Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] . Earnings season is always a gamble. There are no edges, only rolls of the dice.

Believe me, I don’t want any of you little ingrates here. I have enough issues, dealing with a sour market and stubborn positions. If you jackasses buy a stock because you read about it on the internet, you should donate your brain to science, since you are as useless as a gay cactus. I swear on a holy stack of korans, if you come here and complain about one stock, no matter how clever your complaint is, I will have someone knock on your door and punch your mustache off. No warnings. No more Mr. Nice Guy—just your mustache on the floor.

This market sucks a bag of rocks. No matter how “crock-solid” earnings are, it (the market) wants to go down. Right now, I am blessed with a wide array of underperformers, from all asset classes—punching me in the balls—every 15 minutes. To hell with this and the hand basket, I will be selling more shortly.

You know, the shadow near my favorite urinal was correct, telling me to sell when everything was awesome. Now, all of a sudden, I long for the days of a 60% cash position. It makes no sense wallowing in my own stupidity.

On one hand, I want to ride this out, with jubilant thoughts of new 52 week highs and little leprechauns prancing around on Wall St. On the other, I see giant balls of velcro, rolling down Broad St. mowing down people and taking their wallets.

At the end of the day, I am still up big, year to date. Whatever the hell you have going on there is your own business. Do not burden me with your “losership.”

It’s decision time and I have a lot of thinking to do.

This is why America is a second rate power.

In 2006, Ms. Linn’s group went to the Federal Trade Commission to complain about the educational claims made by Disney and another company, Brainy Baby. As a result, the companies dropped the word “educational” from their marketing. But the group didn’t think that was enough.

So let me get this straight, Ms. Linn and a bunch of other lunatic parents want a freakin’ refund (boy do I wish I could curse right now) because the little videos on their tv did not turn their little brats into baby geniuses? Hmm. Well, I would be more than willing to dispute such claims by Ms. Linn and say: yes indeed, “The Fly’s” kids watched Baby Einstein videos and they are now little baby geniuses.

What ever happened to real parenting, like sitting down with your kids and teaching them simple multiplication? Who are these people that rely on videos to teach their children? Let me guess, it’s the “career Mothers,” who would rather have a baby sitter and a DVD player raise their kids, instead of doing the work themselves. Selfish, lazy bastards!

See, the problem with this country is too many freedoms, coupled with an extremely effeminate society. Everyone gets offended; because everyone is weak. I say, bring on the Chinese prison factories now and let’s get America back one Nike sneaker sole at a time.

The market is cleansing out all of the excess garbagio. Do not fear the prospect of quick/fierce market corrections. Instead, prepare for them. As of now, I have about 20% of my capital in cash. My positions, for the most part, are sucking the larger end of wind, especially small names. The cycle has changed. I warned you to escape the death traps, better known as small caps; but you chose not to heed my warnings.

You are NOT permitted to come here, leave stupid comments, then scurry away—like a little faggot trollop, skating on ice for fun.

I am sticking to my appliance trade, via incremental purchases of Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] . For the love of dark magic and dirty silverware, the entire sector is on fire, from Whirlpool Corporation [[WHR]] to [[NPK]] .

Also, I sold out of my beloved ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , despite loving the company. The harsh reality is: the name is not working right now. As a matter of fact, as stated last week, many of my stocks are not working here, which leads me to believe this pullback is legit and can last awhile.

Do yourself a favor and prepare for an extended pullback, by way of raising cash. With my money, I will not short stocks, mainly because I have no desire to fight the MASSIVE inflationary policies of the Fed, through asinine short term stock-market positions. In real life, things are getting a little dicey, with regards to the dollar. I would not be surprised to see the dollar 20% higher or lower from current levels.

As a result, it makes sense to exercise a bit of patience here and quit making daily efforts to embarrass yourself.

What’s with all the diet pill propaganda? I swear, you fat people make every excuse in the book to eat your fat faces into near death, just to avoid a healthy lifestyle. Now you have researchers inventing magic pills that will help you lose weight. How ridiculous is this? Those pills will be the death of you. Taking those fat pills is equal to volunteering for triple bypass surgery, just to avoid eating cholesterol in a jar.

You fat people make me sick.

In other news, the market is really crappy here. We are due for a correction. Therefore, we shall have one.

As an aside, I see what you little idiots are doing, buying stocks without fear of decline. You just sort of go all in, without a back up plan. Let me explain myself in clear terms:

If I go long Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] @ $97, I have contingency plans to buy more lower. By lower, I do not mean 2 points. I will buy more Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , or any other stock in my portfolio, on a 10% pullback, typically. So, don’t come here with your crocodile tears, horrified over the carnage better known as “your portfolio.” I will have you know, the market is unpredictable. It’s always throwing people into flaming barrels of garbage. DO NOT FALL VICTIM TO THE “GARBAGE TOSS.”

Plan for the worst, while expecting to win and win big.

In a nut shell, I am playing defense here. I have zero interest in buying stocks, at these levels. The tone is gay and I want no part of that, no offense to married gay couples of course.

UPDATE: I sold out of ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] @ $24.35.

I bought 5,000 Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] @ $26.75.

Rumor has it, one of the Goldman robots, who actively trades stocks, got pissed off at one of its programmers for not spraying its gears with WD-40. The robot is all pissed off and decided to tank the market a good 150 points. Furthermore, rumor has it, the Goldman programmer is applying the WD-40 as we speak and read and breathe.

In other words, a reversal of the reversal is possible.

Developing…

Take my advice: do not listen to people who do not have brains, for they are unable to offer cogent stock market advice.

The whole internet advice thing is getting a little old hat for me. Literally, I do not read a single blog on the internet. Everyone is wrong and it frustrates me to a point that I want to punch the said author in the face with a bag of dimes. Ultimately, this is a selfless project, talking to people who epitomize the definition of the word “ingrate.”

In recent days, I’ve been lucky enough to sell out of certain names, TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , before they dove, mind you, much lower. Essentially, I am a lucky man, in real life and here on the internet. I attribute all of my good fortune to the vast amount of misfortune that was endured, by yours truly, earlier in life. I do not believe in comic book style fictional characters. However, I do believe in some sort of retarded karma system, where fortune ebbs and flows with a certain algorithmic harmony.

Seeing the market is up this morning, I am looking for ways to raise cash. With exception to Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , all of my stocks are up. Basically, I want to avoid the ominous HALLOWEEN SURPRISE. So, with that in mind, it is of great importance to avoid the pending market correction. I want a triple digit return and will scratch your eyes out with a cocktail fork to get it, if I must of course.

NOTE: LCD sales are ripping in China. Think GLW. And, I am greatly interested in the concept of “mi-fi.” Think Novatel Wireless, Inc. [[NVTL]] .

Top picks: DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] , Corning Incorporated [[GLW]]