The Magic Penis is Coming

BAC got “BAC-ATTACKED” today and no one even cared. People looked at BAC, then the other banks, and then bought more VMW—trading at 1 billion times sales. Bernanke is coming, boys and girls, and he is armed with a magic stick. He will waive said stick and declare “QE2,” then all will be well and all will reflate.

Cotton is soaring, ripping tits on the way up, as the fashion industry panics over lack of supply. Very soon, we will all be wearing MC Hammer pants, made from silk, because there will be no cotton left. BAL is your direct play on cotton. Every commodity is going up, due to the Fed’s deliberate plan to bankrupt the middle to lower class. Let’s be honest here, I would enjoy the novelty of paying for a $100 heirloom tomato. However, that type of action will put everyone on government assistance.

Rates ripped higher today too, sending TLT packing. I guess the economy is coming back, in a reverse sort of way. It doesn’t matter.

All that matters is there is money out there to be won. For the day, I bought BRCD and CSIQ, fully believing that the BEARDED CLAM will whip out his magical penis and make this whore of market go higher, sometime very soon.

I bought 25,000 BRCD @ $5.93.

Disclaimer: If you buy BRCD because of this post, you will get herpes and die. And, you may lose money.

Dare I say “QE2”?

The market looks bad today, which is giving buoyancy to my VXX positions. But, you must BEHOLD what is in store, later on this afternoon. The BEARDED CLAM shall come out from behind the curtains and shake his magic stick at his market levers, bringing stocks back to life, not so much different than Frankenstein.

I’ve been saying it for more than a month: this market deserves to be down. But that doesn’t matter, as long as the BEARDED CLAM waves his penis at the market, making it go up. He calls it, and I quote: “Viagra for the unwashed.”

“It’s you’re birthday, right?”

Despite a lay up arb play with HRBN, I sold out to raise some cash. As you know, as of yesterday, I was practically without the luxury of cash. Can you believe such a thing?!?! ROFLMAOMGCOPTER

Just a quick reminder: “The Fly” has vowed, on his honor, to never curse on this blog, until the Dow touches down on 10,000 again. Considering QE2 has magical powers, I better get used to this virgin dialect, if you know what I mean.

I didn’t sell HRBN because I want cash. Quite the contrary. I sold HRBN so that I can buy some other cool takeover play. As you know, “The Fly” has decided to invest in stocks that will be taken over, from hereon-forth. And, he is into Chinese Lotto plays, in a big, big way. I still think HEAT breaks jaws to the upside, when it gets going again.

For the next few hours, “The Fly” will ponder the very meanings of life, while eating sandwiches, and figuring out where to win money next. To clarify that point: money is not made in this market, but won.

Off to crumple a bunch of charts up into a ball, light them aflame, then pull out the inflammable ones for instant purchase.

UPDATE: I bought 30,000 CSIQ

It’s Gonna be a VXX Halloween

People are losing their jobs and the dollar is diving into the black abyss. On that news, I expect rampant lotto activity today. Despite Europe being down, I fully expect idiotic QE2 fueled buying today, ahead of tomorrow’s BEARDED CLAM speech. Now, in the event we trade down today: “The Fly” will kick back, relax, and drink pina coladas all day long. There is never a reason to worry in America, for this is the land of FREE LUNCH and jackass political parties.

As an aside, YHOO must fend off any retarded overtures by AOL. The morons at AOL timed the top in the market, back in 2000, via buying Time Warner. Without a doubt, they are trying to jinx the market, yet again.

ALL ATTEMPTS TO JINX THIS MARKET MUST BE “FORKED” ON SITE.

(Chess-n-Wine displaying winning lottery check)

Today’s Chinese Lotto winners were:

JOBS, CCSC, PWRD, NOEC, ZNH, SHZ, GRO, KH and HTHT.

Please play again tomorrow.

Note: this blog was paid for by your Chinese Overlords.

I bought some AMKR and GS today, because I can. My cash reserves are all but depleted (7%), thanks to my recent buying binge—fully acknowledging the markets magical powers with regards to clams with beards. Unfortunately, The PPT is registering the highest score of this rally, at 3.18, making it the first real OVERBOUGHT signal of this cycle, thanks to 75%+ of large cap stocks being rated buy or higher.

What does this mean?

Most likely it means we fishtail higher. Do you QE2? I most certainly do; thank you very much.

I’m highly dysfunctional; I realize that. Put “The Fly” in a room with stocks and a dozen cold callers: there will be blood.

The good news is I won the CHINESE LOTTERY today, via large position in PWRD. Did I sell into a 13% melt-up? Of course not, you brainless idiot. I want another 13% tomorrow, so that I can buy new rims for my car. My dart throwing skills are greater than anything you can imagine. One day, I will do a video, displaying my dart throwing accuracy, in “difficult” markets, such as this.

On a serious note, if I had a dog’s brain, I could make money in this tape. Wait for the top and embrace the elevator ride down, you little trollops.

UPDATE: PPT closed at 3.08 aka NOT OVERBOUGHT

Good Sirs,

I am here to teach you my methods. I, unlike all of you, am an investment genius. My skills are far and above anything you can fathom, sort of like the non-union laborers at Puma Punku.

As you know, over the past month I, quite stubbornly, placed 25% of my assets in VXX. The rest of my money was held in treasuries/cash. HOWEVER, since late last week, “The Fly” has transformed himself into “an investment genius” again, using a very specific and secret style, not so much different than those Chinese guys doing karate on the teevee.

Over the last week, I am up 17.5% in HRBN, 7% in HEAT, 13% in PWRD (today’s lotto winner!!!) and 15% in FTK. Do you know how I did it?

I took a bunch of charts and crumpled them up real good. I threw said charts into the garbage bin outside and lit them on fire. Out of all the charts (100’s of them), THE ABOVE NAMES WERE UNSCATHED!!! That’s right, folks. I placed fire onto paper and it had ZERO effect on the above names. It’s almost as if the stock Gods themselves were protecting them. So, without hesitation, I bought them with great vigor.

Here I am now, 100% placated and content with my position.

As an aside, there are many Chinese LOTTO winners today. Be sure to tune in this evening for the announcement of today’s winners.

Into le bell, I like inflammable charts and all things to do with QE 2, ya’ll.

Upping my tech weighting here, I swapped out of AKS for some AMKR.

Disclaimer: Everyone wins.