iBankCoin

Do You Believe in Magic?

Dare I say “QE2”?

The market looks bad today, which is giving buoyancy to my VXX positions. But, you must BEHOLD what is in store, later on this afternoon. The BEARDED CLAM shall come out from behind the curtains and shake his magic stick at his market levers, bringing stocks back to life, not so much different than Frankenstein.

I’ve been saying it for more than a month: this market deserves to be down. But that doesn’t matter, as long as the BEARDED CLAM waves his penis at the market, making it go up. He calls it, and I quote: “Viagra for the unwashed.”

“It’s you’re birthday, right?”

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gca-bD4gOec&feature=related 616 500] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

37 comments

  1. SmallFry

    FIRST – BITCH!

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  2. ThatDude

    battlestations

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  3. chancethepug

    not just a penis

    it’s a MAGICAL penis

    don’t forget this as he waves it to and fro over the market

    it’s magical!

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  4. Frank White

    FIG?

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  5. xxxHuggieBearxxx

    Gimme my muthafuckin points

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  6. Aristotle

    I would like to wave my magic 12″ wand over the two girls in the video

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  7. jg

    “waves his penis” – roflforflrofrlforf

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  8. A Monkey with a Clam in His Throat
    A Monkey with a Clam in His Throat

    I hope the bearded clam says, “WE’RE FUCKED, GO LONG VXX!”

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    • Dayman

      No, he will calmly walk up to the podium carrying a laser printer, place it on the podium and patiently wait with hands clasped in front of him while the printer spits out sheets of 100’s. He will then say, “Get it?” and then walk off.

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  9. panamaorange

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmRAiUPdRjk

    Arb trade of the decade here is to short AAPL, and buy UUP. Does anyone really think those 2 will keep heading in opposite directions, to infinity?

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  10. Helicopter Ben-jammin' aka. Bearded Clamfucker
    Helicopter Ben-jammin' aka. Bearded Clamfucker

    I have an advance copy of BEARDED CLAM’s speech the he will deliver tomorrow. Here it is in it’s entirity:

    “QE2 BITCH!”

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  11. nickfenton

    classic.

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  12. charlie

    Yes, yes, yes, that is very nice but I have many, many ideas. Right now I am wondering when Dr. Cane will stop by.

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  13. The_Real_Hmmm

    His holiness speaks at the Federal Reserve in Boston tomorrow at 8:15AM sharp on “Revisiting Monetary Policy in a Low Inflation Environment.” Expect Tea Party losers to arrive at 5:30AM, just after the kind folks at the Sunrise facilities clear them to leave for the day.

    You see, the Tea Party idiots who believe in fierce austerity are like that guy from the EPA in Ghostbusters. If you shut down the system, sit back and enjoy goblins driving taxicabs through your garden decorations.

    Notice TBT is up 5% or so since I bought it earlier this week. TIP is a lower beta play on this thesis.

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    • Bullish

      It’s October, goblins are driving taxi cabs

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      • Jakegint

        I got news for ya, Hmmmm — the Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man and Zul the Destroyer have been driving this cab since the Dot Com Meltdown.

        Now stop whining about people that remember their high school civics (maybe because it was actually offered when they were in school) yank down those drawers and get ready.

        _________

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        • The_Real_Hmmm

          I agree that taxes should be lowered, and have said that before here, in the face of rising inflation and lower interest rates. I just view them (the Tea Party) as mostly old crickets on the footsteps of fiscal and monetary policy. Our system isn’t meant for quick, vast, and drastic changes. We are a lumbering iron giant with howitzers on shoulder and everyone wants to put us on roller skates starting yesterday.

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  14. NorCal

    The bearded clam speaks Friday, no?

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    • WTF

      Show some respect to the guy. After all, he’s giving away free money. And it’s not Christmas yet!

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  15. brian

    i just got TGB’ed

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  16. EasyMoney

    Did Fly need some BORN lotto tickets to flame up in his garbabe can? ….looks like they’re definitely ablaze! I see lots of RED.

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  17. Rand

    Ask obama if he has seen the magic penis recently.

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  18. FIG

    David Blaine’s magic is not magic at all. He pays people to act like his magic is working. For instance in the bit you just showed us, they put $200 on black, if they win, the girls get all happy. If they lose, they stick $200 out there again until they win and the girls get happy.

    Then they do the same thing with $400. If they win, the girls get happy, if they lose, they reshoot the video until they win again.

    His “magic” is so stupid.

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  19. Silver

    My nose won’t stop bleeding.

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  20. Quint

    It was my Birthday this week…how’d you guess?

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  21. GonzoTrader

    Hey I coined the phrase David Blaine rally… what can the clam say at this point he hasn’t already said.?

    Remember the FED was created for the soul purpose to stop Deflation… but what happens when all your major trading partners try doing the same thing, printing paper?

    Everyone is looking to export their way to growth… quite a conundrum..

    Our only hope is to legalize all drugs and prostitution.. LOL…. when it becomes a financial issue it will happen…

    It may just save Californians budget,,,

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  22. rookie

    Damn fly i am disappointed you caved and finally joined in on this tom-foolery – and at such a late time in the shenanigans no less. I guess you’re safe until QE2 is actually announced because i think that is the day this market will FAIL.

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  23. MetalLeg

    “But that doesn’t matter, as long as the BEARDED CLAM waves his penis at the market, making it go up.”

    When you refer to him “making it go up”, are you referring to the market or his penis?

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