Jumping into the Fire

I sold most of my KMB, LNCE, PEP, ABV and WM to buy more YELP, NXPI, EXK, AAPL and MTW.

In addition to that madness, I started a small position in ZNGA, GLW and RS.

This is a perfect scenario for the bears. Thanks to all of the fucking hype surrounding the Facebook ipo, coupled with the brainless pricing by its underwriters (fuck you Morgan Stanley, I hope you go to zero), the market’s fate is now tethered, mind you, to the fluctuations of Facebook’s stock–currently in “knife your face” mode.

That’s right. Nothing else seems to matter now, except for the share performance of FB. Look at closed end fund, SVVC. They just announced owning 600,000 shares of FB from $31. They also reported to have more than $19 in NET CASH on hand. Meanwhile the stock was down 26% on Friday and down some more in pre-market, trading BELOW cash. Does that make sense?

Once again, the entirely of the social media space is being sold off, thanks to the Facetrap.

The more I read about Greece and Europe, the more somber I get. I think it’s fair to say, the doom and the gloom is certainly starting to sink in. Just a short while ago, the market could do no wrong. Now we’re on the cusp of an unprecedented melt-down.

Starting immediately, should this market refuse to bounce, I will be forced to hedge my longs. I know that sounds reactionary. But remember, crashes don’t occur from overbought levels, but extreme oversold levels. I can’t afford to sit by and watch my assets shrink, thanks to the excesses of some greedy underwriters and a totally bankrupted continent of Europe.

The Return of Samsonite Hamburgalar
by: The_Real_Fly

Related: Samsonite meets with Fly

You do understand how superficial the stock market is, right? People in the real world, working 12 hours a day to pay for their inflated rents couldn’t give two shits and a gay mule about Greece or the Nasdaq. There are the unlucky ones, who for some reason have been targeted by disease, whose only wish is for a “good day” and are totally ignorant to Facebook’s great big ipo blah.

For us, traders, money managers, pundits etc, the market is everything. We watch it with a crazed intensity, obsessing over every movement. We venture off to blogs and “streams” to measure our dicks to the other traders, telling them that they are “shit” and we are “the shit.” On those streams, obsessive overlords fixate on rules and appearance, all to appease their corporate hack clients.

It’s all shit.

This whole big dog and pony show is orchestrated chaos. I am having an exceptionally difficult time making sense of this because the rules keep changing, correlations that once existed have vanished, paving the way for newer nonsensical ones. Since when does an industry leader in its prime come public and ravage the share prices of its peers by 10-25% in a single trading session? You tell me.

Of course, those of you with your penises exposed, ruler in hand, will cry they were a bubble. However, if LTRO2 was announced on Friday, you’d all be down 20% by Monday, you and your stupid shorts. Pray tell me, bold jackass from the interwebs, how do you plan against another Fed or ECB statement, or even Chinese central bank action, that will once again attach fire to the faces of those in the FAZmobile?

Answer: you cannot.

The problem that most people have, when investing in this market, is greed. We’re all chasing the high stakes commodity or tech names, hoping for a quick 20% pop. Meanwhile, stocks like KMB, PEP, CHD and others, are steadily climbing higher, not giving a fuck about Europe, at all.

How am I supposed to justify staying long with Europe devolving into chaos, TLT north of $124, whilst commodities and stocks are in crash mode?

The answer is naively simple: I’ve been trained to expect a bid from the Fed or ECB. Over the past 4 years, I’ve witnessed crazy shit and just when I thought there was nothing that could be done to save “the system”, BAM!, the system got saved. Perhaps this is “the big one” and perhaps I will finally get what’s coming to me. I’ve dodged so many bullets, these past 4 years, it’s only a matter of time before one hits.

Nonetheless, my position is more tenuous than ever before, despite still being up 2% for the year. I feel as if a wave is about to come crashing down on my head and I’ve resigned myself to face it head on, instead of wavering for shelter.

6 mo carnage of GARP index in The PPT (these are “value plays”, down 20% in recent weeks, approaching 6 mo lows)

In this scene, the fucker with the odd facial hair, eating the steak, is opting to have his body placed in a giant pod to be used as a battery and later liquidated when his body runs low on “energy”– by his robot overlords–just so that he doesn’t have to deal with the harshness of life. To accomplish this great feat, he rats on his friends to the robot overlords, who will then kill them with intense laser beams and/or virtual handguns.

Sorry to encroach on Chess’s movie theatre monopoly. But I’ve lost my marbles in a market gone haywire.

I’ve been hysterically laughing to myself for the past hour. My wife was scornfully growling at me, as tears of hysteria rolled down my cheek.

First, do not misconstrue my feelings about today as being insensitive to those of you who incurred losses in social media stocks. This shit isn’t supposed to happen and we all deal with tragedy differently.

I’ve never, in all of my years, seen something as genuinely funny, thanks to overt criminality of venture capitalists and investment bankers, resulting in such staggering losses for me. Truly, it was unbelievable. What was I thinking holding YELP into this FACETRAP ipo? I still cannot fathom the audacity of people selling SVVC down 7. I mean, LOL, it’s a fucking closed end fund, you insolent fools!

Who are you people selling these stocks?

Look, from here on out, I despise Mark Zuckerberg. He is my enemy. Fuck the thousand millionaires he created today, who dumped stock on the market. Fuck the venture capitalists who gouged, like fat gluttonous pigs, off of the accounts of retail investors, on an unprecedented scale. The Facebook ipo was a boiler room underwriting and resulted in “hot money” running for dear mercy (lol) out of anything socially related.

Seriously, you cannot make this stuff up. Not only did the Facebook ipo fail to inspire, it caused a cataclysm in the market, a dislocation in a sector not seen since the dot bomb days. At least back then stocks fell because business sucked. Today, these companies are growing; but because people despise anything related to Facebook, the stocks are getting fed to animals, dirty, vicious ones in the streets.

Here’s what is going to happen next.

Facebook is grossly overvalued, by at least 30%. The shares of Facebook are going to trade under $30 inside of 30 days. As for my YELP: I am woefully guilty of buying this stock alongside hot money clown rapers. These rapists have tainted the waters and have caused a panic in the shares, all for superficial reasons. If FB traded to $50, then YELP would have gone up?

I hate the market.

In short, in all of my years investing, I have NEVER, EVER seen an industry leader in its prime come public and RAPE its peer group. I hope everyone from Facebook contracts a flesh eating disease over the weekend, and then have intercourse with Magic Johnson.

Here, take at the Facebook halo effect today.

Facebook dicksuckers.

Who would have known the vampire that is Facebook would have sucked my YELP position dry, fucking the entirety of the social media sector? TELL ME, WHO WOULD FUCKING KNOW THIS INFORMATION (ask Chuck Bennett for the answer)? Back in the old days, when an industry leader came public, the halo effect would buoy shares of peers. Not today.

In this fucked up world, the exact opposite occurs. Instead of riding the coattails of an industry leader in its prime, your fucking stock triggers circuit breakers to the downside and gets halted for trading, like ZNGA.

God-fucking-damn it.

Cock sucker, motherfucker, shit, fuck, piss, dicks, hummus.

What am I going to do? Should I walk down the street and hit someone with a tennis racket, right in the nose? Or, maybe I should buy a few slices of hot, hot pizza and slap people with them?

You know, I’m actually tempted to sell out of my old man stocks and buy more EXK/AG/WNR. Without a doubt, that move will fuck me. I’ve saved myself so much money this year, more than you know, by doing nothing. So many times I felt like buying something, only to see it drown in large vats of vomit, shortly thereafter. I really want to buy precious metals here; therefore, you should sell them short.

That’s all.

I’m sick of talking about Facebook or listening to some fat slob talk about his emails regarding their allocations. I DON’T CARE.

Life could be worse. I wanted to really load up on MTW the other day, but opted for a midget sized position instead. Lo and behold, SHAZAAAM, that fucker is down 30% in a few days. No biggie. The Chinese don’t need cranes anymore.

YELP IS CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, but also expensive as hell. You must understand there are valuations during times of duress and a totally different price when markets are booming. Everything is shit now; therefore, speculative stocks get to enjoy multiple compression. The trillion dollar question is: what are the fucking Greeks gonna do?

Fuck my life.

I bought this YELP plunge. Not too much, but enough to satisfy my appetite.

The ipo came out and completely fucked the market. Do you see this shit?

SVVC, GSVC, YELP, P and others are getting smashed due to the milquetoast response to Facebook. The spastic retards at ZNGA are getting punched so hard, they had to halt their shares, like pussies, down 13% for the day.

ROFL

SHAME ON THE HOUSE OF CNBC for hyping this shit. We all love ipos, especially when great companies come public. Get this: FACEBOOK IS A GREAT COMPANY, but not at these fucking valuations. This is more of the same from the assholes who underwrite new issues on Wall Street. They don’t care about you. They are there to serve their client and grab concessions.

The syndicate better get their fucking acts together and SUPPORT THIS FUCKING IPO. Get this fucker above $40, else you will make the news for launching the biggest dickbomb on America since TheGlobe.com.

It’s coming public at 100x earnings and 26x sales. That’s at $38! The stock will trade above $38, putting its valuation at untouchable levels. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am huge supporter of social media, and own a significant position in YELP. But I can’t buy this company at these prices.

I will wait for the weaker hands to get flushed and for the European shit-storm to hit Zuckerberg’s face. Then I will buy the shares below its ipo price.

Write it down and bank on it.