Shares of $TSLA Plunge on Drudge Report Headline

Matt Drudge must be short TSLA. There have been numerous stories highlighting Musk’s erratic behavior, none have had the effect this Drudge headline has had, thus far. Shares are off by 7%, due to Drudge linking this story, which showcased Musk’s batshit brain activity.

If you want the full rundown, the lads at Zerohedge have it. They’re truly obsessed with Tesla and won’t cease until the shares hit zero.

In other news, yes, Exodus did nail the Tesla overbought. I am certain 99% of you were wondering about that. Here, look at the call. None of you have precision like this — you’re like meandering retards in the jungle with dull machetes.

UPDATE: Drudge updated his headline.

And again…

Clearly I cannot kill myself now or quit blogging, as promised — I am too sad. I have very strict rules when it comes to drinking or quitting blogging and I never do them while sad. If sad, drink coffee.

The President tweeted this morning he was cancelling the great big beautiful military parade — due to evil price gouging DC politicians. Cleary, the deep state doesn’t want us to look at our killing machines — because we might want to keep them all here and not send them overseas to wage beautiful wars.

The local politicians who run Washington, D.C. (poorly) know a windfall when they see it. When asked to give us a price for holding a great celebratory military parade, they wanted a number so ridiculously high that I cancelled it. Never let someone hold you up! I will instead…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 17, 2018

….attend the big parade already scheduled at Andrews Air Force Base on a different date, & go to the Paris parade, celebrating the end of the War, on November 11th. Maybe we will do something next year in D.C. when the cost comes WAY DOWN. Now we can buy some more jet fighters!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 17, 2018

I haven’t even looked at my stocks today. Seriously people, I am so distressed over this abrupt cancellation — I am without words. What’s the big deal anyway? The parade is only going to cost $100 million. Hell, the economy is growing at 4% and all of the jobs came back from China. Black and latino unemployment is at record lows and Mexico is paying for a long boy southern wall, in order to keep their drugs out of our lovely cities. I had planned to bring the kids down to DC and show them our tanks and missiles, whilst explaining to them how American death machines bring peace around the world and instill order — just how George Washington intended. Now the only thing they’ll get to see are those filthy homeless bums shitting in the DC streets when we visit.

SAD.

Here it is gents. This is the moment you’ve all bee waiting for — you jog on motherfuckers always hating on Le Fly — hoping that he’d die inside a fire or drown inside a lake. I will make it easy for you right now.

If PDD doesn’t run higher tomorrow, I’ll quit the blog and never possibly drown myself in a lake.

Call me Beijing Fly, ball-jugglers.

The franchise has been defended. They beat down and defeated a very evil and parasitic enterprise known to you as Moviepass.

With them out of the way and Hollywood readying for their best films of the year, AMC is poised to more gains. Valuation is cheap and Exodus is flagging it overbought, with excellent statistics pointing to further gains.

It is a momentum indicator, one that is being closely examined and might soon by front and center of my swing trading workflow.

If there was ever a state that deserved food poisoning, it would be Ohio. As far as I’m concerned, Chipotle is doing us a public service by sickening the people of Ohio — making them weaker so they could expire faster. An ideal country would be people on the coast and no one else in the middle. Actually, we could keep our trash and food there, maybe mix up the two in order to be efficient and green. Right now we only keep our human trash in the middle; but eventually all of those people will either die off by shooting each other, or they’ll need to move due to lack of jobs.

When the come to the coast, us Northerners can give them sales gigs, teach them to ditch their hokey accents and give up on the idea that they were ever the ‘heartland’ of America. Truth be told, America started with 13 colonies. If there is a heartland — it’s here, in the Northeast corridor where the weather is brisk and the people are smart.

Back to CMG:

Chipotle Mexican Grill said tests confirmed bacteria caused a recent outbreak of illness at an Ohio restaurant that sickened hundreds.

Clostridium perfringens was named the culprit, tests from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed. Leaving food out at unsafe temperatures causes the foodborne disease.

Chipotle said a specific food has not been identified as a source. CEO Brian Niccol said leadership will retrain all restaurant employees about food safety and wellness protocols nationwide starting next week.

Health staff identified 647 people who said they experienced gastrointestinal symptoms after eating at the Chipotle on Sawmill Parkway between July 26 and July 30.

On this news, stock is barely changed and up terrifically for the year.

This is America.

This is so easy, even a retard can do it.

Enter MOMO — piece of shit Chinese burrito with nefarious background. The stock is a meme, so I bought it because I like to make money.

Defined stop at $35. It doesn’t get more text book than this. If I lose money on this trade — I’ll cut my cock off.

Tech was doing worse earlier, but has since picked up. For the Nasdaq, today’s +55 is pedestrian. Many tech stocks are barely up, but 80% of them are up. This is a tenuous lift in tech, nothing energetic about it.

I still have 10% cash in active account. There isn’t anything that yells out buy to me now, although this ROKU looks pretty sweet.

I regret not selling TLRY when it opened +5% this morning. Seeing it down now makes me want to kill myself.

Moving on, I have to go walk the coyote now, so that she can menace the neighborhood and square up against the local deer and fox. Truth be told, the suburban life wears thin on me, people jogging around like sweaty hogs — me having to dodge lawnmowers every block.

When the kids are all in college, I am the fuck out of here.

The Exodus Quant is +100bps today. Ergo, I am somewhat happy, in a milqetoasty sort of way.

Not only can you access our suite of Sharpe ratio tools — but starting today you can access Sortino too.

Does it get any better than this, folks?

Call your clients up and make yourselves look and feel smart, by giving him quotes on ratios that he has no idea what they are or what they mean.

You asked for it, so Exodus delivered.

There’s plenty of time for these stocks to marinate and run higher, before Trump rejects their trade talk proposals. In the meantime, I bought PDD — a Goldman backed Chinese e-commerce play in China — down nearly $10 from its recent IPO price.

That’s an absurd draw-down from pricing and whoever priced this deal should be shot. Nevertheless, they have a chance to redeem themselves now. Perhaps the analyst department can gin up some demand for shares, now that China and the US are besties again.

The situation is fluid — but stocks are breaking necks to the upside again — higher by 300.

Top picks: TLRY, PDD, ZS

Who’s tired of winning, folks?

PBOC injects net 40b yuan in open market operation: PBOC finally getting worried

— zerohedge (@zerohedge) August 16, 2018

CHINA TO HOLD TALK W/ GROUP LED BY U.S. VICE TREASURY SECRETARY
CHINA COMMERCE MINISTRY SAYS CHINA DELEGATION TO VISIT U.S. COMES AT THE INVITATION OF U.S.

— zerohedge (@zerohedge) August 16, 2018

Yuan, Futures Jump On Report China Delegation Coming To US To Discuss Trade https://t.co/xTPDLkhTnt

— zerohedge (@zerohedge) August 16, 2018

Late Night Bonus: China Has Never Been More Oversold

The price action for Chinese stocks has been abysmal in recent weeks. I keep them all quarantined in one place in Exodus and I measure the elasticity of the group. As you can see from the chart above, which is our Hybrid score — the predictive element of Exodus — the group has NEVER been more oversold. This dates back to 2008.