RELAX — EVERYTHING IS FINE

About $200b in new tariffs will be affixed to cheaply made Chinese wares soon and that is causing people to sell their stocks. Please.

Get a hold of yourself, man. This is nothing more than a weigh station, en route of finer destinations.

The imposition of the $200 billion tranche would be the biggest so far and would mark a major escalation in the trade war between the world’s two largest economies. It is likely to further unnerve financial markets that have been concerned about the growing tensions.

China has threatened to retaliate by slapping duties on $60 billion of U.S. goods. The Trump administration is finalizing the list of Chinese targets and tariff rate, which could range from 10 percent to 25 percent, following six days of public hearings earlier this month.

Trump’s plan to bring down his biggest hit yet on China comes as two-way trade talks show little signs of progress. Discussions between U.S. and Chinese officials last week in Washington yielded few results, thwarting hopes for a quick deal.

Separately, Argentina raised their interest rates to 60% fucked.

All that aside, I took the opportunity to raise cash and book much deserved and hard fought profits. For the love of God, I was in this JG since August the 21st. I just sold it for a 60% gain. Additionally, I sold HUYA and IIPR for 0.6 and 6.5% gains, respectively.

Nothing stops me. I am now 28 for my last 31 trades, 50% cash, eagerly awaiting stupid people to do stupid things.

I am King SAAS and I order you to acknowledge my purchase of AYX.

Do not believe my word, but take the President’s instead. He’s privy to all sorts of non-public information and knows more than anyone how prospective trade deals are developing.

The news from the Financial Markets is even better than anticipated. For all of you that have made a fortune in the markets, or seen your 401k’s rise beyond your wildest expectations, more good news is coming!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 30, 2018

Being a man of sound mind and cool temperance, I look at the tweet above and think ‘he’s not lying.’ He might lie about a lot of things and is suspect AF when it comes to recalling events as they happened, but he knows this. The stock market is his saving grace, the one thing he can turn to and say ‘look how much Wall Street sucks my cock’ and do so with a smile.

Bottom line: Stay long and buy more.

I bought YEXT higher from where I sold it — because I want to play the earnings and hear about their deal with amazon. I also bought DATA — because ‘open field’ running with socks off and all that.

Earlier today, I bought MEDP — because I’m a scientist all all that.

A whimsical market of carnivale proportions. The only thing to do is look at your JG position +60% from your basis and yearn for MOAR.

Top picks into tomorrow: JG, MEDP, YEXT, DATA, TENB, and CBLK

Seeing that everything in my account was on cruise control, steadily and gingerly sauntering higher, I ventured out into my backyard to have a cigarillo under a very large maple tree. It’s an old tree and is one of the many shaded areas in my yard, which is ensconced by countless hours of landscaping — done by my own hand — wild flowers, boxwoods, dozens of trees, plinths, urns, bird houses, and stone benches.

Under my maple tree is a country styled picnic table, wooden and strong. I sat there and drank my coffee and enjoyed my cigarillo, with the tunes of Bing Crosby haunting in the background. The leaves from the ash and the lime trees gently fell onto the ground, as a mild breeze passed through, illuminated by the sun, which was both strong and warm.

I have few cares that concern me, neatly wrapped in a bubble of my own making. The troubles of the world are distant to me, especially since I’m not really part of society. I own a successful business and with the money that’s generated from it I invest in the stock market, which is grand and easy — at least for me. It wasn’t always this easy. Back in 2014, I lamented the market and wanted to get out of the business. I was harangued by client phone calls throughout the day, subjugated to countless hours of toil, clerical duties not befitted for a man of my style and means. One of the best things I ever did with my life was giving up the money and instead pursuing something I enjoyed doing.

Nowadays, I get to do what I like, when I want, and have little to no regrets, other than the loss of income — which is not something to worry about since the market is more than generous and makes up for any burn that I might otherwise incur.

I go to work and I get to write, help ordinary people navigate the markets, making them extraordinary. I know it’s not always going to be like this. There will be a time when we’ll harken back to these days and pine for them — the jarring losses will be hateful and the market will, once again, be something to lament. Until then, enjoy the music as it plays and be grateful for the opportunity we have been given.

I’m really famished and feel like cooking some break fast. I just wanted to take this occasion to let you people know that I am, in fact, a scientist now — because I bought MEDP. As a matter of fact, I’m wearing a surgical mask whilst typing this note to you.

Stock is upwards of $58 now and looks like it wants to saunter sideways and up to $65. Who the hell am I to get in its way? I’m like a fat guy, only not fat and definitely more than just a guy, riding the tram at Disney because walking it exhausting. I’m on the tram in search of fun, conserving energy, ’bout to cook some 6 minutes eggs.

For the love of Christ, I haven’t even has my morning coffee yet. I’ve been working so hard, there’s barely enough time for my gimlets.

I’m on a terrific run, so splendid at 25 for my last 27 trades I do not want to book a loss. It would mess up my streak and place a dour footnote into what has been an unbelievable and surreal gift. Today at the opening tick, without hesitation, I sold out of BOX for a 9.3% loss. The streak didn’t matter, nor did my feelings for BOX as a company. The share price had simply gone too low to tolerate and I didn’t want to tie up important funds in a stock behaving so poorly.

Maybe in the past, a younger and more immature Fly, I’d hold onto BOX and oversee a small 9% loss morph into cataclysm — but not today.

Simultaneously, I am watching my JG position rip higher again, pushing my unrealized gains in the stock to +42% since August 21st. A lesser man would’ve sold by now; but there has been nothing in the price action to suggest it’s done going higher.

Hence the adage applies here and this is the lesson: let your winners run and cut your losers quick.

This is what happens when you’re out there doing stock market battle (cringe). Sometimes you take an arrow to the leg and only hope it didn’t hit an artery. The only thing to do is take out said arrow and stick it in the eyeball of the person who sent it to you.

My line in the sand is ~10%, which places BOX under $23.5 for firm line in the sand sale. However, if I do not believe the stock is worthy of holding my money, I might just sell it tomorrow.

Last chance for you to unbox yourselves out from the rough terrain of after-hours earnings surprises. “The Fly” rides in his car made from dynamite sticks because he’s afraid of nothing, especially death. If not scared of death, why on earth would I be afraid of losing a little money?

Now if you’re poor or don’t have any money, or never had money, you might want to eject yourselves from $BOX. I offer nothing but chance with the stock, as it is scheduled to report earnings after the market closes.

I live with purpose and am very much alive, not just in the obvious physical sense, but spiritually. I want more and strive towards reaching an equanimity of achievement that can only be attained by making you successful. I’ve discarded my money management business and am now “all in” here, and now, so enjoy the ride.

Expect this sort of drivel to be published in your local internets soon.

Meanwhile, I sold CVNA today for a 5.5% profit — because I didn’t know why I was long and the market looks slow, tired, and weak. My cash position is now 50% and my winning streak extended to 25 for the last 27. I literally cannot be stopped. As a matter of fact, I want to lose — this shit is too easy. I can make 5-10% all day long in individual set ups and not break a sweat.

Here goes.

What’s next on the agenda? Riding BOX into earnings, killing shorts, leaving no survivors.

September will be just fine. Keep your stops tight and your longs vigorous and you’ll be all right.