SHORT SCIENCE INTO THE WIND

I bought some LABD today, because FUCK SCIENCE.

The earth is of course flat and the moon is an alien planet base, hollow and advanced, which will one day fly away and leave our oceans to flood and destroy the planet, just like it did in the times of Noah. You’re gonna need an ark young man, believe me.

Everything is bad, except TLRY. It seems to be behaving very well.

So what the fuck is going on with this chart of the Nasdaq?

I’ll tell you what the fuck is going on. This market is fixing to retest those god damned lows. Any idea how painful that will be? Believe me, a lot. Now we can change all of that shit, with a little verve and positive energy. Everyone form a circle and hold hands. While you do that, I’ll sacrifice the  baby goat and pour its virgin blood over your heads and then light a chicken on fire. Very delicious, believe me. After that, I have these Jim Cramer voodoo dolls that I bought in Haiti. We can stick pins in them and pray to, err “The Gods”, for stock prices to reverse crescendo and lift, the fuck, higher.

I’m getting my cock chipped away at with TLRY. I was up 30 points and now I’m down 5. ‘Tis is life. One second you’re on top of the world, the next a homeless bum seeking out cigarette butts.

Look, I realize you’re confused and do not know what to do. Relax, no one really knows what to do and we’re all guessing and making bets based upon assumption. But you can control a few things, such as position sizes and stop losses. Do not let the smoke from the fires blind you to where you’re trying to go.

Still long a bunch of declining stocks, and also DBX — 60% cash.

My issues look to be somewhat resolved in Exodus. We have a brand new API for data and the latency is very low, and clean, and beautiful. I was out all day, cavorting around Princeton in my corduroys and vest, Americano in tow. I’m not a dandy, mind you. Look at me sideways and I’ll bust your jaw for you.

I see stocks were down and tech down miserably. I sold out of SQ today for a 7% loss and my cash position is now 60%.

I gave back much of my praised and glorious winship in TLRY today. I’d like to blame it on the fact that I was literally not at my desk for a single minute today; but that’s no excuse. I merely looked at it, saw it was only 5% of my portfolio, and decided to let it ride. Had I been at the desk, I would’ve sold it — almost assuredly.

Tomorrow should be a normal day for me and I really do need to unwind a little bit. Between my poor sleep habits, stress at home and at work, Le Fly’s life expectancy is quickly barreling towards zero.

NOTE: Yesterday’s purchase were executed under the assumption that prices might come in. The idea was to be long from now until Turkey Day. That theorem still applies and I will use said cash to double down on my present positions.

Whenever I upload a video to Youtube with Cramer in it, the fagLORDS from NBC have it removed. I suppose Cramer is a very valuable person to attract ad dollars and NBC will be damned if the plebs get to enjoy his brand of propaganda anywhere but NBC. They own his ass.

The big news today: OIL ENTERS BEAR MARKET.

Cramer opines on that, providing some rationale, and paints a grim picture for crude.

Dare I say “BOTTOM”?

Day three of my crisis.

Dear diary

My quotes in Exodus aren’t operational, rendering most of the platform a useless piece of garbage. Since I am without tech, I am forced into the streets with a tin cup filled with money, offering it to the passerby codes-men to assist me. Every once in a while, I get someone to take some of my money — but they fail to fix it. My subscribers are getting restless and soon, I suspect, will begin picking at the castle walls with their rakes and shovels. I’ve tried to temper them with comedic acts and winning stock ideas, and that has worked for a short while — but I can tell tensions are rising and they’re beginning to hate my guts.

At the moment, I have two codes-men having a look at it and one is trying hard, the other, not so much. He does have a real job, after all, and the money in my tin cup isn’t much interest to him.

For now, I press on — very sad and downtrodden. I haven’t eaten in 10 hours and refuse to find pleasure in most things, instead opting for a punitive existence.

I guess markets are resting after yesterday’s ejaculation. Maybe it’ll go to sleep now, wake up tomorrow, and then ejaculate again next week.

What a glorious day. See how much better I am than you, as far as investments are concerned? I’m probably a better writer, faster reader, cook, cocktail maker, joke teller, and have a better sense of fashion too. But that’s as far as I’ll go. I lost my hair a decade ago and that was really sad; but now I don’t give a shit. People ask me, ‘Fly, if they cured baldness, would you slap some hair on that there cue ball of yours?’

The answer is, inexorably, no. Fuck hair and fuck your shampoo. That shit has cancer in it. I wash may head with god damned soap, a big old bastard bar of soap. I’m not at the shave your head baldness yet, as I like to pretend there’s still something there to maintain. But I don’t use no god damned shampoo.

My TLRY is +22 points from this morning. None of you can hold a candle to me, zero.

That being said, I’m here to help, your stock monkey who toils away at the hot laptop spitting out outrageous stock picks for absolutely no reason at all.

In other news, Sessions is gone. Good news for Hillary haters. Finally, that bitch can find herself into a prison cell. Thank God. Also, maybe Trump has Mueller arrested too?

Remember who called this shit, you ingrates.

Good times!

My spirits are rising, with the good fortune of my stock purchases. Markets continue to rise, as predicted, heading towards, and herding tightly, Turkey Day.

I bought the following stocks this morning. Try and stop me. I’ll rip your arms and legs off.

SQ, TLRY, NEWR, HUBS, DOCU, DBX, TEAM.

Cash is 55%.

Don’t ever leave messages in the comments section alluding to GNC as a stock that might go higher. GNC will go bankrupt one day — because Amazon says so. I just bought a flurry of stocks, none of which is any of your concern. Like I said, dour mood and all that. My cash position is down to 55% now and the reserves will be left for safe keeping, just in case I’m suddenly wrong, after 21 successful trades in a row.

Right now I have a bunch of shit running through my heads, things I’d like to say to you, all very mean and cruel, but I won’t say them. I don’t really mean it anyways; I just have a warped mind that thinks darkly.

THE ELECTIONS ARE OVER AGAIN. All of the democrats in NY and LA are jerking off to pictures of Barack Obama. They have the house again and now Trump is really gonna get his due — that racist homophobic bastard.

I am 99.99999999% sure markets go up from here. As a matter of fact, if we’re not higher by Thanksgiving, I’ll donate this website to charity and let some homeless dude take over the mantle of The Fly. He’d probably trade better than half of you losers. There I go again, saying things I don’t mean.

I’ll have you know, I’m a really nice guy. Ask anyone who has ever worked for or worked with me, a regular charmer.

At any rate, if I’m right about the market and you’re wrong, I get to cut your throat and see you bleed out. Deal?

Let the games begin.

We’re set to rip higher, and no this isn’t some sort of trap. The gains will stick and the people who buy today will be happy tomorrow. The pageantry of the elections is finally over and now people can get back to focusing on what’s really important: stuffing their big fat faces with copious amounts of turkey and turkey gravy, cranned berried sauce, and mounds of mashed potatoes.

The day we began killing the Indians for good fast approaches and the country is tired of selling off, worrying about distant trade wars. People just want to unwind. Know what I mean? Drink White Russians and watch Netflix, kick up their feet, and gain lots of pounds.

I remain in a miserably dour mood and it’s work related; but I’ll push thru for the benefit of mankind and history and continue to provide the people with good stock ideas — companies worth investing in for the purposes of extreme profit.

I’m going to stop writing now and maybe go downstairs for a tall glass of water, perhaps nibble on an inedible piece of hardened and black toast. I’ll reappear when the market opens with my buy orders.

The mid-term elections are over and it went as expected. The dems took the House. The repubs kept the Senate. Gridlock is the buzz word, and Wall Street loves that shit.

I was a coward, hiding in the corners at 90% cash. I will redeploy tomorrow and join the cavalcade of buyers, who will assuredly bid stocks up.

Without question, having the elections behind us is a net positive for stocks and having a split government is good, as it checks Trump and his trade war against China.

Nasdaq futs are +50.