Markets Recover After Investors Realize Powell Isn’t Retarded

There was a brief moment, about 15 minutes ago, when the market shit it’s own pantaloons over the specter of the new Fed head being an actual retard. The Dow dropped like a fucking anvil in quick sand, but then quickly recovered after Powell handled the questions from the low IQ press with great alacrity.

I was especially amused by the French Press question, which implied Fed Funds rates would be 5% by 2020. Are the French really that stupid? At 5%, the United Steaks is fucking bankrupt.

Gold and WTI is the story today. If you’re not long those two sectors you are officially incapable of managing money and should therefore remove yourself from the field of money management. Go get a job at the mall folding slacks.

As for me, the Jenga building looks strong again and I am happy seeing both JNUG and PUMP rip higher.

Here’s today’ spastic pin action.

Top picks: JNUG, PUMP, LABU, DSX

What the fuck!?

I stepped away for a minute to eat a sandwich while markets were up nearly 200 and come back to see everything in ruins. As I sift through the news, reading things such as The Fed being concerned over Trump’s trade war, I ponder to myself: “was it a mistake to make Powell our new Fed head?”

Every time this fucking shithead talks, markets dump out.

IGNORE THE NOISE

Here’s what’s important.

Commodities gapping higher.

10yr yields coming in.

BTFD

The Fed raised its benchmark rate to 1.5-1.75%, citing a strong as fuck economy. Additionally, they raised their GDP expectations from 2.1% to 2.4%. Their inflation exceptions are 1.9%, which is astounding when considering their unemployment rate target is just 3.8%.

“The economic outlook has strengthened in recent months,” the committee said in its post-meeting statement, a sentence that had not been in previous releases. The language came even though the committee earlier in the statement said “economic activity has been rising at a moderate rate,” a seeming downgrade from January’s characterization of a “solid” rate.

The initial reaction was to fade stocks and bonds, but things have since normalized and markets are buoying higher again.

Dow

GLD

TLT

UUP

And here’s why I bought TQQQ yesterday.

This song is dedicated to those bearshitters out there. FUCKED FACES.

A rather ironic ticker symbol, no?

I like crude here and am a HUGE fan of the Saudi-Trump cabal, which mandates much higher crude prices. In exchange for Saudi’s cooperation with Trump’s plans in the Middle East, the price of crude shall be walked up to $100. The added bonus of $100 crude is the amount of new jobs that will be created in American shale properties.

As such, I bought some PUMP — a relatively new issue that wants higher.

What the fuck, I like the police state now.

Here’s a kid who was coddled by Mommy — home schooled and probably ventured out online for social interaction.

Austin, TX bomber identified as Mark Anthony Conditt.
Mother's facebook posts indicate that children were home schooled and Mark was planning on a carrying out a mission trip years ago. #AustinBombing pic.twitter.com/MGwzMglIRG

— Brandon Busch (@RadioBrando) March 21, 2018

Does he fit the profile of a fucking terrorist? He had no priors, apparently a nice home with a caring Mother who invested her life in him; and what does this absolute faggot do to repay her? He becomes a fucking terrorist. What a fucked up time this is in America.

As you know, he literally blew himself up today after authorities found him. What’s interesting about the police work to find him is the fact they used Google search history to do it. I know libertarians will be like “OMG, how dare you infringe…” Fuck off. Coppers had zero leads and its citizens were being blown to pieces. I applaud this use of the police state and hope it is used responsibly in the future to capture faggots who deserve to blow themselves up.

A man whom authorities were attempting to arrest early Wednesday in a string of bombing attacks in Austin killed himself with an explosive device as authorities closed in, a high-ranking law enforcement official told the American-Statesman.

The official said authorities identified a suspect in the past 24 hours based largely on information gained after police said the suspect shipped an explosive device from a FedEx store in Sunset Valley, a suburb surrounded by Austin. That evidence included security video.

Authorities also relied upon store receipts showing suspicious transactions from the person and obtained a search warrant for his Google search history that showed him conducting searches they considered suspicious, the official said.

Looks like FB is shitting on top of all of the faces who were yelling about the stock being done for a decade yesterday. These people are muppets, whose mouths are moved by the activists in the Democratic Party. They should just kill themselves and get it over with.

In light of this joyous occasion, markets being up and all, I bought some LABU — it’s free money from here until $106. I am playing this upside biotech for the ‘hundred dollar roll’ — not because I want to, but because I can.

Moving on. My JNUG position is just about the best ETF of the day. What the fuck are you doing with your lives?

I have other irons in the fire, such as my shipping play DSX, IBP, AKS, AMRS, even little GEVO. Do you like little GEVO — it’s a stock bound to trade higher, even though it’s a little piece of shit.

My day got started late, so I’ll need a few hours to get into the swing of things.

Right now, Dean Martin on loop, markets racing higher, “The Fly” wins again.

The Hang Seng is up more than 400 now, or 1.2% — propelling prosperity and goodwill throughout the Asian continent. The Chinese are also enjoying their gains, +0.6%, over large bowls of chow mein.

The oil markets are rife with verve — thanks to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia ‘charming’ Trump and his neocon faggots. Dare I say war with Iran is on the horizon?

NEW: In a meeting with Saudi Arabia's crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, President Trump discusses the upcoming deadline to renew the Iran Nuclear Deal:

"You're going to see what I do." pic.twitter.com/c0gOKc8vZl

— MSNBC (@MSNBC) March 20, 2018

I wasn’t a fan of Obama — but the Iran deal should remain intact. My reasons are different from everyone else’s; but the spirit is the same. I’d like all to have access to world ending nuclear weaponry. It’s a foolish gambit trying to stop rogue regimes from partaking in nuclear war. By my count, the only rogue nation who had the fucking balls to detonate a couple over large cities was us. Ergo, let the Iranian have gigantic H-bombs capable of wiping out whole countries. In the event any of those are used, we’ll simply reciprocate with our own doomsday devices.

Moving on, Bitcoin is edging near $9,000 again. How many of you are still HODLing?

Nasdaq futures are +15 and Le Fly is long TQQQ, based off Exodus OS signal for the ETF. Let it be written in fucking stone by lightening bolts from the Gods: markets shall crest again. The newly minted Facebook bears shall have their faces blown off by saw off shot guns and markets will, effervescently, move in the direction it’s most accustomed.

It appears a young man barged into a Panera Bread in Princeton with a gun, then holed himself up in a standoff against coppers for 5 hours. Rumor has it, he was former military, about 30 years old, and he might’ve shot himself. Don’t quote me on it. Couple that with the fucking bombs being shipped in Texas, and of course the active shooters, and I think it’s fair to say there is a tangible sickness gripping the country.

Video shows police officers responding to reports of an armed gunman at a Panera Bread across the street from Princeton University’s campus. https://t.co/GuUfCSt4NV pic.twitter.com/A0sG9kuWVm

— ABC News (@ABC) March 20, 2018

Stocks lifted, but breadth was sub 50% and my trading account produced losses. Over in my quant account, I gained another 1% and I am fucking crushing the SPY by nearly 200bps over the past two weeks.

On the upside of today’s pin action is Bitcoin and cryptos — all sharply higher.

Here is today’s breakdown by sector. Does this look like a +150 day?

The time has come for the blogger experiment to end. The era of fake news is now behind us. We needed the false election of Trump, who stole votes from Hillary Clinton, via a crafty network of FAKE NEWS blogs, a highly sophisticated Facebook analytics ad campaign, and Russian bots and hacks, to fix the sickness of the internet — which is freedom of speech.

Over in China, they don’t fall for the nonsensical argument of MUH free speech. They simply reject it and punish anyone who tries to access information that isn’t approved by the government. While we cannot do that on the surface, since we’re still pretending to be an open and free society, we can easily accomplish this by making our tech monopolies implement policies that do the exact same thing as communist China.

For example, Google just announced they are launching a new monetization model for participating news agencies to push back against fake news. If you aren’t approved by Google, you cannot participate.

The initiative, announced Tuesday, will offer publications another monetization model online called Subscribe with Google, as well as work with established universities and groups to combat misinformation. It will also introduce an open-source tool called Outline, which will make it easier for news organizations to set up secure access to the internet for their journalists.

Google said it was committing $300 million over the next three years to the project, though it did not elaborate on how the resources would be spent. The company said it paid $12.6 billion to news organizations and drove 10 billion clicks a month to their websites for free last year.

Subscribe with Google will make it easier for readers to pay for content from news organizations that have agreed to partner with the company. FT.com and The Washington Post are among the launch partners, though Google has not yet named a full list.

The company is also testing a “Propensity to Subscribe” feature using its artificial intelligence, which will let companies know which consumers are likely to pay for their products. A new News Consumer Insights dashboard will further analyze readers for subscription opportunities.

Google will also create the Disinfo Lab with Harvard’s Kennedy School aimed at clarifying misinformation during elections and breaking news moments. It will also launch MediaWise, an organization in conjunction with the Poynter Institute, Stanford University and the Local Media Association, which will work to develop digital literacy for young viewers.

On paper, the idea of boosting traditional news organizations with strong editorial boards is a good idea — since they’re professional journalists with experience and know-how. The only problem with them, of course, is their reputation — which is widely viewed as biased and often times derided as propaganda for leftists policies on a global scale, especially in America. One thing is clear: on almost every social media platform, and now Google itself, there is a major push to demonetize and penalize any opinions that aren’t in concert with the prevailing opinions of the main stream media.

Welcome to your new happy world.

RELATED: A man was just convicted and will be SENTENCED to jail time for uploading a video onto Youtube, showing his dog doing a Nazi salute.

A man has been convicted in a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive". If you don't believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly offensive", then you don't believe in Freedom of Speech.

— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) March 20, 2018

While awaiting sentencing, Court has ordered that I meet with a court social worker for an assessment as to whether or not a Restriction Of Liberty Order will be placed on me. This would involve a GPS tracking device being attached to me and me being placed under house arrest.

— Count Dankula?gbsct (@CountDankulaTV) March 20, 2018

I stepped in and bought TQQQ on the moronic FB crash. I hope you all die in your shorts. You certainly do deserve to burn.

I’ll punch your teeth out.