iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,447 Blog Posts

BACK TO HEDGING AGAIN

ALERT: In honor of Le Fly’s magnificent impending birthday, we are handing out 7 day trials to Exodus. Email me a nice note and gain access: flybroker at gmail dot com.

One of the displeasures of working from home is having to do random chores, such as walk the coyote or hedge the bushes. Today, after coming back from a long walk with my coyote, who attacked 3 joggers, 2 rabbits, and 1 dog, I decided to take on the overgrown bushes in my fucking yard again.

So I went into the garage and dusted off the old electric hedger, attached a big old stupid blue extension cord to it and then proceeded to electrocute myself.

Just kidding.

But after 5 minutes of sawing through random parts of my boxwoods, an allergic attack struck me. I was befallen by an odious affliction and sneezed for the next 10 minutes. Racing back into the house to grab a Claritin, my coyote chased me down and bit my foot. I told her to “fuck off” and then grabbed a bottle of water, opened it and some fell on my shirt, then went back outside to finish the job.

Like a creative genius, with Mozart playing in my head, I cut thru those fucking shrubs with extreme energy. Halfway through the job, my landscapers rolled up and parked in front of my house, looking at me sideways, amazed to see me outside doing their job. As I sawed thru the branches with indecorous qualities, I could feel them laughing at me, saying some shit like “Oye, look at gringo trying to hedge that shit. HAHAHAHA, cabron.”

I became a little distracted and instead of focusing on the art in front of me, I envisioned them stepping out of their truck and me throwing the saw at them and cutting them in half. But then I remembered I had an electric hedger and that shit would simply disconnect and barely knock anyone out from the blow.

I cut them shits so deep, barely any leaves were left. It was a complete massacre.

Then I moved onto the side of the house, where I have another dozen or so shrubs, trees, and other shit to cut. I laid into them like a UN resolution and banged out another boxwood, part of a tree, since I was too lazy to venture back into the garage for the ladder, then I got hungry and went back inside — shaking from the energy spent and lack of sustenance coursing thru my creatine laced veins.

I quickly grabbed a granola bar, a key lime La Croix, an energy shake, and blew out of HUYA for a +16% gain and then doubled up in BILI — because my urinal shadows said so and I can’t lose and the Stock Market Gods are dead, replaced by me. I cannot lose. Try to stop me. No one will be able to.

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15 comments

  1. acehood

    *Keyed lime

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  2. teslawasright

    Perhaps some digestive enzymes and abstaining from wheat Sir! Those allergies are bad

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  3. numbersgame

    Wow, doubling up on BILI, bold move on earnings day. It’s too early for me to invest in an opaque Chinese company, but I guess that’s where the big money is amde (and lost). I’ll give you props if it works out. Good lock.

    Also, remember GEVO? It got crushed today and the market cap is now a $5.6M. The renewable energy equipment is on the books for a value of $70M, with low debt. Quite a disparity. To stay within NASDAQ listing compliance, shareholders are voting on a reverse stock split this month. GEVO warned (SEC filings) that they will have to repurchase it’s debt id the stock split doesn’t go through, which would render the company insolvent.

    It is possible that many investors are voting **against** the stock split (by mail, prior to the May 30 stockholders meeting), which would be quite a vote of no-confidences in the company’s leadership. A leak of the vote so far could be what lead to the big drop today.

    Ironically, given the lack of progress towards profitability combined with the high value of the equipment, the company may be worth more if it is broken up rather than to continue bleeding out value.

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  4. juice

    on my morning dog walk with the gf & her puerto rican rescue attack mongrel, a jack russell chihuahua mix, so a little mongrel. The thing lies down in the sand with it’s tail wagging waiting for some older gent with his lab-pit rescue. The lab-pit comes over to greet the little bugger and it’s game on! I would have sacrificed that thing to the rescue gods but my gf would have been upset so I sprung into action. That pit mix had the little jack hua hua by the scruff of it’s neck and 6 inches off the ground.. It wouldn’t release the damn thing so I started hitting it in the head. I thought that was gonna be the end of the peurto rican pain in the ass rescue. No matter what I did, the pit just wouldn’t unclench .. until it finally did. So Stray del Toro runs free for a moment and then goes right back at the pit mix. Fortunately the owner had control by then.

    Balls . flea .. balls, trading stocks like you was 1/2 your age.

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  5. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Can we all agree that TrumpThaGod is just clowning North Korea and making them his bitch. Perfect strategy, how can you compete with a God!

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  6. moosh

    You say your sweet, adorable coyote attacked joggers, rabbits and dog? One could wish for such proactive defense from a pet on long walks.

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  7. tmmdn0

    Happy Birthday Fly.

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  8. Lyndon Keltner
    Lyndon Keltner

    I’m, like, long crude at 69.65 cause WTF not?

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  9. Lyndon Keltner
    Lyndon Keltner

    So crude just bitcoin’d in the last couple of hours, and my first follow-up order just got filled. WTF is this about?

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  10. cali24dog

    “now he said sick em boy….but what I heard was, Chopper – sick balls”

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  11. s.k.

    Happy Birthday, Fuckface.

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