iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,477 Blog Posts

What is the Next FAANG Play?

Every retard west of the Nile is long FAANG in their asset management plans because MUH hedge fund hotel, liquidity, and MUH awesome returns. The profile of the FANNG basket is as follows:

FB, AMZN, AAPL, NFLX, GOOGL

Median market cap: $590b
Median PE: 59
Median P/S: 6.8
Median Sharpe: 1.20

Avg YTD Returns: +21%

The trillion dollar question is, can Exodus find the next gimmicky acronym based investment strategy?

Answer: fuck yeah.

BEHOLD: CARBS

CRM, ADBE, RTN, BA, STO

Median market cap: $93b
Median PE: 30
Median P/S: 2.4
Median Sharpe: 2.29

Avg YTD Returns: +23%

Here are good reasons for you to swap out of FAANG and into CARBS.

#1 CARBS represents war, and missile, and shit.
#2 CARBS got some Norwegian oil in it, and FANNG has none.
#3 valuation wise, CARBS is far less retarded than FAANG and the laws of large numbers aren’t at a critical stage yet.

Now that I’ve solved the issue of finding a new acronym based investment theme, you can quickly call your clients and tell them the good news.

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19 comments

  1. chuck bennett

    Oil!!

    It goes higher. OAS and CRK are my two turds for the win

    Regards

    Chuck Bennett

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  2. Lyndon Keltner

    inb4 CRABS catchier than CARBS

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  3. ferd

    Just watched an interview with Comey. Thank God he had the strength to get that monster, Martha Stewart, off the street. Praise Jesus.

    Courage.

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  4. Lyndon Keltner

    @ferd

    Re: Silver, once more

    Profit taker on the silver short (17.15, 17.20, 17.25) just got filled at 17.15. As expected, the momentum is rather weak.

    Leaving the sell orders 17.30 and above till tomorrow morning. Same 10-tick profit target on each order.

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  5. Dr. Fly

    GET SOME CARBS LADS. DO NOT WORRY — IT WILL NOT MAKE YOU OVERLY OBESE.

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  6. Lyndon Keltner

    ZB 144’10; UB 157’18

    Free money.

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  7. juice

    The next FAANG play will be PUTIN

    PAYC
    USAK
    TEUM
    IIN
    NTNX

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  8. masteroneass

    weird acronym stocks which are related. hilarious. so what exactly do faangs have to do with facebooks and googles and carbs have to do with that. Carbs is also much more weird and not so catchy but hilarious. adobe salesforce boeing and two tickers ive never seen. how do we connect the dots. should we have catchy crypto acronyms. should all related stocks which are good have acronyms? Or should we just should listen to cramer when he pumps google everyday since it IPOd? This is a major crisis. All good performing stocks must be placed in computer driven acronym creators to come up with something catchy. I will do this right after I have my computer randomly generate haikus and email them to everyone.

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