Reminder: Lloyd Blankein is a Dick

This is on par with saying “Canada sure looks great. Will be spending more time here now that #maga.

Wholly unprofessional and a slap across the faces of millions of pasty Britains. We get it, Lloyd, you don’t like democracy and it angers you to see Britain choose Brexit over Bremain. But no one gives a shit about your feelings.

Enjoy Frankfurt you GIGANTIC FAGGOT.

Just left Frankfurt. Great meetings, great weather, really enjoyed it. Good, because I'll be spending a lot more time there. #Brexit

— Lloyd Blankfein (@lloydblankfein) October 19, 2017

The most amusing part of the ~500% Bitcoin gain in 2017 is the comments about how cheap it is now, mostly stated by late comers and fan boys who really do not know anything about the psychology of investing, let alone the financial dynamics of it.

Ethereum, which the entire ICO market runs on, is now trading at ~$300, up from $8 in the beginning of the year. Any untoward comments about the validity of these moronic upside moves is immediately met with feverish opposition, accusing cynics of being ‘old’ or simply ‘bitter’ for ‘missing out’ on such a fantastic run. While there is certainly an element of hoping that all Bitcoiners should perish in the fires of their own hubris, trapped in cars being crashed by giant anvils, I really do not wish anyone to lose money — especially young speculators trying to improve their lives through investing. Hating on a 20 something for wanting more is like hating against myself twenty years ago — wholly ridiculous. I was awesome then — you have no idea.

Most of the people who are in cryptos, for some reason, believe they’re rebelling against central banks and showing the man how little they give a fuck about his fiat. Meanwhile, back on planet earth, the entire crypto-market is sponsored and promoted by venture capitalists, devils who got in during the 2013 correction and pyramid-schemed these retarded instruments ever since. Aside from the fact that cryptos are entirely jimmy-rigged by asshole VCs, they’re also vehicles for money laundering and all sorts of fun criminal activity. The transfer aspect of bitcoin, coupled with its liquidity, is why the value is surging.

But what about the MUH blockchain?

Well, what about cash?

Why would anyone want every single thing they do documented on a digital exchange? Talk about a big brother Trojan horse. You fuckers are willingly jumping into a network that is going to track everything that you do, under the alleged auspices of privacy.

But that’s neither here or there.

This is your 31st reminder, with the previous 30 being all wrong, that someday soon Bitcoin is going to crash and you’re going to lose all of your money stuck in ICO ‘fagboxes.’

Instead of watching everyone else get high, floating around Main Street stoned, I decided to borrow a hypodermic needle and inject some pure opium into my muscular arms. Gone are the days of Fly shitting on the blockchain, chalking it up to ‘nothing more or less than a red faced scam, purported by fuckbags for the purposes of getting liquid.’

Instead of fighting this “trend”, I am joining you and I am now one of you — both an entrepreneur and a wastrel. I cannot lose.

I bought the shares of consummate crybaby, Patrick Byrne, aka Overstock.com — because of their exposure to the MUH blockchain.

“It is encouraging to see legacy financial services acknowledging the potential of the blockchain to disrupt and transform the financial services industry,” Forte said. “This is adding further fuel to the Overstock fire as investors [see the company’s] early stage investments in blockchain.”

Over the last three years, Overstock’s CEO Patrick Byrne has quietly developed a blockchain-focused division of the company called Medici Ventures. The unit’s majority-owned subsidiary tZero has emerged as a front-runner in applying blockchain technology to trading stocks and digital coins.

Long-time short seller Marc Cohodes first heard about Overstock’s blockchain investments in May. He then visited Byrne in June, the first money manager to do so in a decade. The meeting turned Cohodes into a buyer of the stock.

“You’re not paying anything for blockchain and you’re getting retail at a steep discount,” the independent investor said in a phone interview last week. “I think the stock’s going to go to $100,” or 230 percent above Monday’s close.

I stepped in and made my first investment in the MUH blockchain, buying $OSTK. Live shot of me buying it. pic.twitter.com/8jcAljpXew

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 20, 2017

Pray tell me, with this sort of logic and facts, how can I lose?

Friday bonus. A very rough raft of one section of Chapter 2 of BUST, part 2 of 3 of my series documenting the dot com boom and bust.

If you were wondering why shares of FIZZ have been weak as of late, look no further than this polished presser out by National Beverage, explaining how bots are shorting the shares of FIZZ, in spite of the fact that they sport ORGANIC GROWTH, which is ACCELERATING and only getting better.

The CEO, Nick Caporella, would like to remind you the first quarter of 2018 is the BEST EVER. Second quarter, STEADFAST and $1 billion in annual revenues are fast approaching.

The lying and sniveling analyst who dared to call into question the viability of FIZZ shall be racked and ruined across the crucible of truth. All of those short selling robots broken, diffused, drowned in the key lime carbonated waters of honesty, truth, and prosperity.

Those angry devils who’ve declared FIZZ ‘weak’ are mountebanks, caitiffs of the first magnitude. It is our job, as faithful shareholders of FIZZ, to both hold them accountable and then destroy them and preside over their gruesome deaths.

BEHOLD.

The short answer is no. I just completed this week’s buys/sales and was chagrined to learn I was flat for the week — thanks to this bastard of a stock CELG hemming me in with ruinous losses. The SPY went up by 0.55% this week, so the underperformance wasn’t too drastic. I endeavor to make up for said shortfalls in the coming week, through my new portfolio, which is betwixt in the $5-10b market cap quintile.

It’s worth noting, small caps traded down this week, which is odd — since we’re all bulled up and ready to go.

Speaking of which, Bitcoin surpassed 6,000 today.

BITCOIN 6000!!!! pic.twitter.com/RvEWieRZy4

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 20, 2017

This is bigly. Congrats to all of you vile subhumans who’ve been long. I’ve got a multi-trillion dollar equity market to tend to. See yourselves out the front door.

Another day passes by and new fresh record highs. About last year this time, I fought the rally like a mother fucker. I figured an Orange Gorilla in the White House who’d be able to get nothing done would be bad for stocks. Little did I know that Wall Street loves Orange Gorillas, especially because they can do nothing.

That’s right. The Trump administration is all about bark, zero bite. He’s like your elderly grandmother at night, menacing to bite you without her dentures. While it might be scary, it’s entirely harmless and you just need to learn how to laugh more.

I’ve been laughing with savage qualities for the past 6 months, much to the merriment of my brokerage account. I’ve taken a two pronged approach to the market — one systematically and the other discretionary.

Today’s rally is centered in banks, materials, tech and retail. The latter is the riskiest play, but offers the most upside. Once again, who’s buying M into the holiday season?

In about an hour and a half, I will be updating my quant account. Unfortunately, I got caught with a little CELG in it. Alas, those are the breaks sometimes. In my balls on the table chopping carrots rapidly account, I had a solid week long EDIT, COHR, HIIQ and YELP. My biggest loser is the one I like the most, HMNY, off 18% of the week.

I get it. There are so many reasons to hate Moviepass. But it’s going to work. Those fuckers are going to push the ram against the wall and force AMC to bend the knee. It will be a joy to watch as a shareholder. The way I see it, the stock is either a 10 bagger or a zero.

GE and HON missed earnings and CELG caught a downgrade at Citi and Baird. On that news, and more, Dow futures have exploded with glee to the upside, +95. Nasdaq futures are +17 — and the world as we know it, wonderful.

The 10yr is notably weaker, with yields up 5bps to 2.37%. The dollar is +0.4% to the good and the retards in the bitcoin space are taking a breather from all of the CRACK they’ve been smoking — off by 0.6%.

Copper is +1%, WTI -0.8% and the Nazis in Germany (the land of the Nazi) are 0.3% to the good.

Later on this afternoon, I’ll be working off location — actually outside of my prison-home and around other live people. Be prepared for those exciting developments later on. I’ll be sure to let any of you know if other life forms actually converse with yours truly, who’ll be cleverly disguised as a normie, clad in pedestrian clothing — topped off with a hat.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to continue the story. I’ve been writing my whole life. It’s how I got my first gig at Seligman back in high school. After winning a contest and having my article published in the Daily News, a fund manager at Seligman reached out to me and invited me to intern at the firm that summer.

But I am not really built for long form writing. I am a spur of the moment, reporting on crazy events, type of guy. Nevertheless, I felt my story about the dot com experience needed to be documented, not for self-aggrandizement, but for the sake of posterity.

Bitcoiners should buy it and read it.

I am working on part 2 of the saga, which is tentatively titled “BUST.” I am 3,500 words deep and just heading into chapter 2. I am guessing this one will run 40,000 words long, leading up to the final part of the series, 2003-2006ish — ending when the iBC era begins.

It is my opinion that there was and is nothing extraordinary about me or my experiences back then, which unto itself is interesting. I represent the little guy on Wall Street, one in 500,000, trying to navigate the treacherous waters, in and around the assholes who really dominate it. That story is your story, not so much Lloyd Blankfein’s or any of the other assholes who believe their opinions are worth more than ours.

If you have questions, feel free to ask them here. I probably won’t do another one of these until part 2 is out, which I suspect might be in early 2018. This part is more difficult, due to its glumness, and I am trying to build an arc that is both interesting and historically accurate, without revealing too much of my personal life.

When TEAM came public a few year’s ago, I was excited to buy it for clients. I wasn’t interested in trading the stock and hopefully some of my clients still own it, although I am doubtful since their new money managers probably sold it all out.

When I was studying ways to expand the Exodus platform, I came across this Australian company who prided themselves on having ZERO sales people. Everything they do is online. Fascinating, isn’t it? Like CRM, but without all of the heavy expenses associated with keeping a large payroll. While I’ve found it difficult to expand in such a bare boned model, those crazy bastards from down under have perfected it.

Here’s a research note published in early January of 2016, by Canaccord Genuity.

“We believe Atlassian is one of those rare, long-tail opportunity companies you come across once or twice a decade. The firm has flipped the traditional software income statement by investing about 40% in R&D and 15-20% in S&M. With the software value priced, the low-friction, self-service sales model becomes a growth flywheel sustained by rapid innovation cycles. And best of all, the firm has done this while making a profit for 10 consecutive years. This is not a cheap stock by any metric, but we believe Atlassian is very likely to become a substantial, multi-billion-dollar company over the next decade. If so, we expect this stock to almost certainly deliver very good returns.”

It took awhile for the valuation to catch up with the stock. Judging by the 12% lift in the after hours this evening, following a blow out quarters, I think it’s fair to say TEAM is in the zone and will be talked about plenty in the not-too-distant future.

Reports Q1 (Sep) earnings of $0.12 per share, excluding non-recurring items, $0.03 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of $0.09; revenues rose 41.7% year/year to $193.8 mln vs the $185.78 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Co issues upside guidance for Q2, sees EPS of $0.12, excluding non-recurring items, vs. $0.10 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; sees Q2 revs of $203-205 mln vs. $200.23 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.

Co issues raised guidance for FY18, sees EPS of $0.46-0.47 from $0.42-0.44, excluding non-recurring items, vs. $0.44 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; raises FY18 revs to $841-847 mln from $826-834 mln vs. $831.02 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate.

Atlassian ended the first quarter of fiscal 2018 with a total customer count on an active subscription or maintenance agreement basis of 107,746. Atlassian added 4,246 net new customers during the quarter.

Q2 Guidance: Gross margin is expected to be approximately 79% on an IFRS basis and approximately 84% on a non-IFRS basis. FY18 Guidance: Gross margin is expected to be approximately 79% on an IFRS basis and approximately 84% on a non-IFRS basis.

Here is an archive for their conference calls. I highly recommend listening to a few in order to get a better handle on what they’re doing.

It wasn’t long ago when Chinese companies traded in America, whose CEOs living in mansions dotted along Long Island’s coast, ransacked shareholders on a daily basis beset by allegations of fraud. There were annoyances like Carson Block out there, shorting just about every hot Chinese stock, claiming they were laughable frauds — and he was right.

But not anymore. A once disgraced genre of investing dubbed “chicoms”, or what I like to call “Chinese burritos”, are now celebrated on Wall Street. After all, why the heck not? Who is paying attention to the accounting at these companies anymore? Carson Block has since cashed in and now runs a hedge fund, and everyone else is too enamored with the glamor of bitcoins and all of the little ICOs are are issued each and every day to even begin to care about burritos.

The crypto space has gone from just Bitcoin to over 1,100 ICOs under the Motherly umbrella of Ethereum. Some like to dismiss the ICOs as a clown show, something wholly unimportant to the bigger, more interesting, aspect of crypto-investing, which is an alternative to fiat currency. On the surface, it all seems like a grande idea — cut out the middle guy and let the people transfer money, to and fro, at their leisure. No need to concern yourselves with IRS reporting or AML laws — be free, and do as you like. Nothing can go wrong — because government can’t control the people. Right?

Regarding the unimportant ICO market, festooned with entertaining coins like RARE PEPE’S, DOGECOIN or FUCKTOKEN — they all clear under Ethereum, not Bitcoin. That’s important because, as we speak, Bitcoin only makes up 55% of the crypto market and is becoming less important with each passing day. ETH and the rest of the gang comprise of 76 billion in market cap, spread out across 1,100 tokens. I like to think of this set up in dot com bubble terms, where Cisco was Bitcoin, adding up to a then record $500 billion market cap, and then there was everyone else — hundreds of little shits floating around making people rich.

But then they made people poor, ruined an industry for nearly a decade, and became the laughing stock for all eternity. Sure, smart money is weighing into the cryptos now with a heavy foot — because that’s what ‘smart money’ does — chase alpha — pretend to know the future, get fucking ransacked. Not smart anymore. LTCM, Pershing Square, Highland Capital, Bernie Fucking Madoff.

Happy trails.