Based Upon the Laws of Mathematics, The Oil Sector is a Buy

God damn it. When was the last time I bought the oil sector? I recall an era in iBC history whence I walked upon these halls an oil man — completely devoid of human emotions — solely interested in mercenary profit. Alas, those days are coming back to iBC in short order — prompted by the infallible laws of mathematics.

According to Exodus, $XLE is oversold on all algorithms (3,6 and 12 month time frames). In addition to that, seasonality beckons.

Lastly and somewhat importantly, the sector has traded down 5% over the past month — providing bargain shoppers and math lovers alike with a supreme opportunity to delve into the dark tarry pits of BIG oil — drilling and injecting chemicals into the water supplies everywhere at your black heart’s behest.

BEHOLD, the trifecta of buy signals.

How do we play this to maximum effect? Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Fly Buy, fucked faces. In the meantime, here are some of the larger capped names in the drillers. Notice on the far right their YTD returns. We want to bargain shop here, not chase sloppy seconds.

Once I purchase of the aforementioned names, my exposure to this market will be in the magnitude of 140% long.

I remember when Wholefoods just hit the tri-state area and organic food was something of a novelty. I’d drive 45 min to the nearest store, just for the honor of spending $500 on overpriced balsamic vinegar and other first world delicacies.

Over the years, I’ve spent at least $500,000 on fucking groceries at that God forsaken store. Their prices keep going higher and the quality keeps sinking.

Whole Foods used to employ hipster junkies, now they have retards manning the cold cuts section, fucking up simple orders. All of the decent employees hate the company and tell me it’s a political hell hole — all the while prices go up.

Over the past 3 years, competition has truly offered a comparable alternative to Whole Foods and sales have begun to slumber.

They just reported earnings and they sucked, plus they warned.

Whole Foods prelim Q1 $0.39 vs $0.39 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; revs $4.92 bln vs $4.98 bln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate

Whole Foods sees FY17 $1.33 vs $1.44 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; cuts sales

Very seriously, I hope this company burns it hell. For the first time in over a decade, I’ve decided to boycott those motherfuckers by shopping anywhere but Whole Foods. I can no longer justify paying $50 for a single King crab leg, even though it’s gluten free and was fed nothing but grass until it was caught in the wild and killed, holistically.

That being said, I haven’t given up on organic foods, even if it is a scam. It makes me feeeeeel better. Ergo, it’s worth paying more — just not Whole Foods types more. Those fucking bastards.

About a month ago,  I was lamenting over the rise in US borrowing costs, via the treasury market, and the lift in the dollar. Both occurrences boded poorly for a potential fiscal stimulus package and US trade abroad.

Since then, markets have settled down and things have materially improved.

Dare I say, things are looking perfect right now, with commodity prices buoyant, treasury yields receding and the dollar sinking versus its foreign counterparts. All the while, markets have risen to the tune of 3% — permitting a true sense of optimism to gracefully dilute the dreary news flow of an otherwise very divided nation.

US 10yr is down to 2.34% from 2.56%. It was, however, 1.75% before the election.

Watch Zinc. In my opinion, it’s more important than copper now, since it’s a vital component in galvanizing steel — readily used in infrastructure projects.

My favorite plays with zinc exposure are $HBM, $TECK and $VEDL.

Chelsea Clinton’s husband was a hedge fund manager, until today. Marc Mezvinky’s Eaglevale lp, after years of rancid performance, has decided to close up shop and return their investors money back to them, one of which includes Goldman’s Lloyd Blankfein.

The fund had been reeling ever since its retarded bet on Greece, which caused their Greek opportunity fund to draw down 48% a few years ago.

Since then, Marc was, allegedly, using his powerful inlaws to further his schemes — abusing ties with the Clinton Foundation to raise assets.

In all, Eaglevale had nearly $400m in assets. Naturally, Eaglevale had offices in NYC, but enjoyed the tax exempt status of the Cayman Islands.

I read some scandalous leaks from deep within the crevasses of the Trump White House, some very alarming.

According to Huffpo and NYT, Trump actually walks around the White House at night in a fucking robe. Can you believe this guy? Literally Hitler. Also, while in this so called robe, he watches news…too much of it. God damn it, what’s next, reading books?

One of the biggest revelations is his displeasure with Air Force One’s hand towels. They’re too hard. Actually, I can’t blame him for that. No one likes hard hand towels, not even liberals.

Lastly, and the biggest shocker of them all, he doesn’t like to read long monotonous briefings. He prefers condensed versions, drafted in bullet points — an obvious sign of mental illness.

Nice work Huffpo/NYT

Moving on, speaking to a room filled with Sherrifs this morning, Trump updated them on the wall, which Mexico will be paying for, saying ‘the wall is being designed right now.’

President Trump: The wall is getting designed right now…pic.twitter.com/rTHHRmUuXX

— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) February 8, 2017

Senator Sessions will be sworn in tomorrow, on national pizza day.

Think
About
That.

The memes write themselves. Ever feel like we’re living in a scripted world, or one that is cosmically opposed to anything the elite want? As hard as they try to stump Trump, the wins keep piling up.

Speaking of which, base metals are forklifting higher this morning. You may proceed with your Trump trade plans, as they’re likely to get a jolt higher during today’s session.

Top picks: $TECK, $CLF, $UEC, $VEDL

She violated RULE 19. As such, she must shut up and remove herself from the filibuster. The Gods have graced the republitards this evening — proffering blessings of an unimaginable consequence. Thanks to the rule that were violated by Sen. Warren, none of them have to sit through her refuse and might instead go out for a late night cocktail or maybe a slice of pizza over at Comet ping pong.

What’s with democrats and rules?

Under the Senate’s “Rule 19,” senators are not allowed to “directly or indirectly, by any form of words impute to another Senator or to other Senators any conduct or motive unworthy or unbecoming a Senator.”

Not tired of winning yet.

Two days in a row Cramer is panicking over the dead shopping malls — citing the wretched earnings from $KORS as a prime example as to why you can’t buy any mall based retailer. Even when the news is good, like $GPS, the stock still trades lower.

Lastly, he discussed the potential and imminent bankruptcy of $SHLD and who might get hurt as a result.

Due to the secular decline in retail brick and mortar, Cramer deemed the sector entirely ‘uninvestable.’

$BWLD missed and guided lower this evening, citing a ‘challenging’ restaurant environment. What!? I thought fat faced Americans loved to eat until their stomachs exploded?

Apparently not.

“The challenging restaurant environment continued in the fourth quarter and culminated with a difficult December,” Sally Smith, CEO of Buffalo Wild Wings, said in a statement Tuesday.

Using Exodus, I am able to confirm that the industry isn’t growing anymore, but instead shifting focus on financial engineering to boost earnings. It’s a sad day in America when finding out that eateries are banking coin anymore — at least not with the vigor it once had.

Here’s a list of restaurant stocks with market caps above $1b, representing market capitalization of $290b. While earnings are appreciable higher, sales are, essentially, flat.

I run this screen for all of our industries, over 200 in total. It’s fair to say that the overall state of the economy isn’t exactly booming when the median revenue growth of our biggest restaurant companies is less than GDP — barely more than +1%.

Food for thought (pun intended).

On his radio show this afternoon, Sean Hannity chimped out and called out republican shills who’ve been obstructing President Trump’s agenda by twiddling their thumbs and not writing bills to fund infrastructure projects, tax cuts and healthcare reform.

Essentially, Trump is at the mercy of a very corrupt and globalist shilling GOP — led by a man (Paul Ryan) who is as vacuous as his democratic counterparts.

Hannity promised to call them out, one by one, and to make their phones ring non-stop if they didn’t get off their asses and start working for the American people.

Epic takedown.