iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,417 Blog Posts

Whole Foods Fails Again, Company Misses and Guides Lower

I remember when Wholefoods just hit the tri-state area and organic food was something of a novelty. I’d drive 45 min to the nearest store, just for the honor of spending $500 on overpriced balsamic vinegar and other first world delicacies.

Over the years, I’ve spent at least $500,000 on fucking groceries at that God forsaken store. Their prices keep going higher and the quality keeps sinking.

Whole Foods used to employ hipster junkies, now they have retards manning the cold cuts section, fucking up simple orders. All of the decent employees hate the company and tell me it’s a political hell hole — all the while prices go up.

Over the past 3 years, competition has truly offered a comparable alternative to Whole Foods and sales have begun to slumber.

They just reported earnings and they sucked, plus they warned.

Whole Foods prelim Q1 $0.39 vs $0.39 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; revs $4.92 bln vs $4.98 bln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate

Whole Foods sees FY17 $1.33 vs $1.44 Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; cuts sales

Very seriously, I hope this company burns it hell. For the first time in over a decade, I’ve decided to boycott those motherfuckers by shopping anywhere but Whole Foods. I can no longer justify paying $50 for a single King crab leg, even though it’s gluten free and was fed nothing but grass until it was caught in the wild and killed, holistically.

That being said, I haven’t given up on organic foods, even if it is a scam. It makes me feeeeeel better. Ergo, it’s worth paying more — just not Whole Foods types more. Those fucking bastards.

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13 comments

  1. it is showtime

    Really labor-ing that nasdaq higher arent we, fedfuckers

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  2. mr.wiggles

    Haha we’ve all been there. At one point, I wouldn’t move to an area if there wasn’t a Whole Foods within a a block or two.

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  3. husaria

    Plenty of other places to get good food. Local Dutch Amish markets and coops. Do it mostly because processed foods taste bad. Get to gym more often.

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  4. i Bergamot

    Plant a garden (you have a back yard, do you?)
    Better work out than gym
    Better food than in store
    It will be best $20 you’ll spend this year
    (not that you need my advice for anything…lol)

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    • mr.wiggles

      you should just use fertilizer from Monsanto and you won’t have to work as hard.

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      • i Bergamot

        LOL, that’s so true…
        Actually, I don’t use any of this shit – kinda defeats the purpose of growing your own stuff. I mix humus-and-manure from HD (about $5 per bag) into soil, then ash from burned wood – and that’s it.
        My veggies taste better and last longer than nitrogen ripened crap from the store.
        Besides – it’s hardly a ‘hard’ work – I’m not tending a field, just a garden…he-he

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    • halcyon5

      I’ll try growing grass fed king crab ;D

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  5. the dude

    You crack me up. Organic food. …fuck outta here.

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  6. sarcrilege

    I see:
    > “even if it is a scam. It makes me feeeeeel better.”

    you’re a placebo junkie

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  7. ironbird

    No clue if the “organic/non gmo/no preservatives” food is what it claims. That is the problem. Fraud. But have joined the club on going the feel good way. If people ever saw the amount of shit pumped into the produce and livestock they would as well. Gotta be able to look in the mirror. Admit one was a fucking douche bag. Ignorant and wrong sometimes. Makes a man.

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  8. momono

    Costco has great frozen red king crab legs in the stores in Colorado. 10 pound box of legs for $199. The packing date was just a few days old. Great quality. Better than what I’ve had at restaurants.

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    • wolfdaddy

      I believe it’s the same brand Whole Foods sells trident. Except it’s 50% cheaper. Whole Foods has been pissing me off with the crab legs and steaks also

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      • momono

        Yes. Trident. They also had a whole red king crab with the body and legs for about $18 a pound but I didn’t try that. Not sure the meat on the body is as good as the legs.

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