NEW IMPERIAL EDICT: The Media is the Enemy of the American People

(ADJUSTS MICROPHONE)

Ladies and gentleman, Comrades and local Oligarchs,

Our beloved leader, President Donald John Trump, whilst raising a right wing goon squad to deal with dissidents, has issued the following statement — regarding our media and domestic enemies of the state.

The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @NBCNews, @ABC, @CBS, @CNN) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American People!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 17, 2017

What does this mean for you?

As a reader of FAKE NEWS, you’re hereby ordered to cease and desist supporting the above agencies, for very soon they will be placed on the domestic terrorist list, via DHS.

Additionally, all employees of the aforementioned organizations are encouraged to come forward and provide the imperial regime with information leading to the arrest of enemies of the state who actively plot with known terrorists (globalists, democrats, leftards) to undermine the administration.

In summary, the media started with the designation of ‘dishonest’ to ‘fake news’ to ‘very fake news’ and are now deemed ‘enemies of America.’ Should you know the whereabouts of a FAKE NEWS operator, formerly known as ‘journalist’, please contact your local magistrate and receive free raffles for the next flour and yeast giveaway.

The following people are wanted by the American people.

Fellow passenger boarding at Midway: "Good tweets. I voted for him, but Trump's 'enemy of the people' thing is nuts." #EveryoneIsOnTwitter!

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) February 17, 2017

This is dangerous and unacceptable. pic.twitter.com/g0n2k0DZtc

— Craig Newman (@craignewman) February 17, 2017

Only a FAKE PRESIDENT would declare the First Amendment to be the enemy of the American people. https://t.co/ZFZvlTf8Az

— Joe Scarborough (@JoeNBC) February 17, 2017

It's not just inappropriate for President Trump to call the US media "the enemy of the American people," it's unAmerican.

— Stephen Hayes (@stephenfhayes) February 18, 2017

"The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes, @CNN, @NBCNews and many more) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American people. SICK!"

— David Frum (@davidfrum) February 17, 2017

Rejoicefully,

Comrade Fly, local commander, Revolutionary Media

I’m so sick of being called a fascist without actually benefitting from fascist actions and tenets. For example, since us fascists are in power, we should be permitted to ’round up’ political dissidents, such as the skinny lads fighting garbage cans in Seattle, and send them to prison camps aka ‘gulags’ (put yourselves in our shoes). We can do prisoner exchange programs with our new friends in Moscow, and truly get to enjoy the fruits of our right wing, nazi inspired, fascism (pro-tip: Nazism was a left wing movement).

Here’s a ‘leaked’ memo from within the bowels of the Whited House, revealing ACTUAL right wing goon squads being theorized and planned, for the explicit purposes of apprehending illegal immigrats.

Read the draft memo behind my @AP story on the proposal to mobilize National Guard for immigration enforcement: https://t.co/m15VFujbJ1

— Garance Burke (@garanceburke) February 17, 2017

The DHS tried to bullshit their way out of it, saying it was a ‘very early draft.’

A DHS official says memo was "a very early, pre decisional draft… and was never seriously considered by the Department"

— Dorey Scheimer (@DoreyScheimer) February 17, 2017

Right, that’s like me making plans to commit arson as a means to cash in on insurance money, as an ‘early draft’ of increasing my net worth. No one does stuff like that.

Or do they?

Here’s the money shot in the memo.

“I am directing the Commissioner of CBP and the Director of ICE to immediately engage with the Governors of the States adjacent to the land border with Mexico and to those states adjoining such border States for the purpose of entering into agreements of section 287(g) of the INA to authorize qualified members of the state National Guard, while such members are not in federal service, or qualified members of a state militia or state defense force under the command of the Governor, to perform the functions of an immigration officer in relation to the apprehension, investigation and detention of aliens in the United States.”

See what you’ve done leftard America? You’ve forced perfectly rational people into assembling right wing goon squads because you wouldn’t shut the fuck up about nazis and fascism.

You’ve destroyed one too many garbage pails and now you’ll pay for those transgressions. You’re going to be arrested and sent to black sites —  and all you’ll have to show for it is a few snarky moments of joy, at home, with your gay spouses.

NOTE: The alleged goon squad will comprise of 100,000 National Guard, 85% of whom have voted for republicans during every election cycle of their natural born lives.

Ciao

Make believe it isn’t happening. Actually, I find that when I am losing vast sums of money, like now, when I close my eyes and think of swimming in the ocean amidst the coral and the starfish, my losses aren’t that bad after all. Currently, my position of 160% long into the teeth of an acrimonious, primordial even, drawdown in stocks like $TECK, $HBM and $TGB have taught me nothing but to appreciate the candor by which the market expresses itself.

Granted, in this case, she’s expressing herself by cocking a pistol and firing it into my groin — with the hopes of gravely wounding me. Lucky for me, I have, virtually, unlimited resources and the patience of a fucking pirate skeleton.

Trust me, I’d much rather talk about my losses and how they mean nothing at all than General Flynn and the 9-d chess game Trump is playing with the mayne stream meteor.

Basic resources have collapsed today, for no reason other than to sell off. The market ebbs and flows. At the present, it’s flowing… with the effervescent joy of 10,000 margin calls (you thought I’d say blood, didn’t you?).

When I was a young stock broker, cold calling for dollars, I had a margin call clerk named ‘Felicia.’ She was a fucking brute and a bitch. She had zero regards for my financial well being. As a matter of fact, I believe she enjoyed liquidating accounts, especially if they were negative equity. I am certain some of you young advisors in the business get to enjoy your own Felicias today — cold hearted black soul bitches who’ve been placed on the earth to make the lives of well meaning, good looking, rich men, tumultuous.

Well, I’m older now, smarter, and significantly uglier, but with a lot more money. Margin calls aren’t an issue for me now, as I have, what some might call, ‘permanent capital.’

(Jesus Christ, the hubris of this article is outrageous!)

The sell off should be embraced by all. Stocks like $ROCK should be purchased using one’s cock as collateral (I’m a poet and didn’t even know it).

Top picks: $TECK, $CLF, $UEC, $HBM

Big oil stocks are down 5% over the past month — now approaching oversold territory, according to Exodus. For the sake of explaining my thought process on this situation, I interviewed myself.

You may gaze at the chart below and wonder to yourself ‘what the fuck is Fly showing me?’

I showed you the front end of my fucking time machine, you ungrateful fucks.

‘What does this mean for oil stocks?’

It means you should be weighing into them with great vigor and tenacity.

‘Should I be afraid of a pullback that might last, oh I don’t know, longer than a fucking day Fly?’

No, you shouldn’t ever be afraid of things like that. That’s how pussies think.

‘But what if I do that and lose all of my money?’

I’m not your financial advisor God damn it. If you’re afraid of losing all of your money, you’re in the wrong business.

‘Pray tell.’

Fuck off.

‘Please?’

If you haven’t been wiped the fuck out at least once in your ‘investment career’, you’re not really a player. Go play with your dividends.’

‘Ok, thanks. Can I ask you one more thing?’

Fuck off.

‘Ok, thanks.’

NASDAQ futures are off by 7. For the week, I’d had my brains boxed and my zinc dick chopped off by the winds of fury. My gains for the year topped out at +18% and now stand at around +11.5%. That’s all fine and well, as I was deserving of a comeuppance with all of the shit I was talking. Not only have I been, sanctimoniously, passing judgment upon others for their idiot beliefs, I’ve been bragging about my apparent invincibility.

As such, the Gods, the evil Gods, have forsaken me and kicked me into a well filled with homosexual alligators.

Nevertheless, “The Fly” presses on. He plods and presses, laughs and then cries, to the minstrel melodies of life.

The CAC is down 1%, and the Eurostoxx 50 off by 0.5%.

Copper is down 1% and gold is flat and zinc is plunging by 2.4%

The dollar is slightly higher (+0.16%) v the euro and the 10yr is off by 4bps to 2.41%.

Enjoy your early losses, assholes.

This must be stopped. How does Kraft-Heinz think they can get away with this shit? We’re all ketchup slaves to $KHC as it is, now they want us to pay them for the privilege of using Hellman’s mayonnaise too? Someone needs to stand up to this form of culinary tyranny and I’m hoping Unilever has the intestinal fortitude to see it through.

“Kraft confirms that it has made a comprehensive proposal to Unilever about combining the two groups to create a leading consumer goods company with a mission of long-term growth and sustainable living,” Kraft said in a statement.

“While Unilever has declined the proposal, we look forward to working to reach agreement on the terms of a transaction.”

Let’s be clear, we are talking about a deal in excess of $125 billion. Get the fuck out of here with this shit. Who will finance such rage and madness? The greed and the avarice of even thinking about making an offer of this size is enough to convince a jury of 12 that the executives at KHC are in fact lunatics.

$UL told Kraft-Heinz they weren’t interested and to fuck off — but the blokes at Ketchupville aren’t likely to accept no for an answer and will probably go hostile with their fucking offer — slapping the shit out of the cucked mayofags with jars of relish and macaroni and cheese boxes until they surrender.

Shares of KHC are higher by 5% and UL is surging by 11%. The deal just paid for itself — how wonderful.

How fucking stupid are our leaders? Fucking John McCain fell for this ridiculous prank by a group of famous Russian phone-fags. McCain said, to whom he thought was the Prime Minister of the Ukraine, “I cannot predict what this President (Trump) will do.”

Essentially, he’s talking foreign policy with them about wanting harsher sanctions on Russia — while those fuckheads are ringing bells in the background.

“We have pranked McCain, Lindsey Graham and the Republican Majority leader in Congress McConnell in the Congress Mitch McConnell on the issue of anti-Russian sanctions, however, we can not tell the details yet,” Kuznetsov said.

HE IS TALKING ABOUT OUR FOREIGN POLICY REGARDING RUSSIA WITH CLOWNS.

I did not believe this until it was verified by Sputnik.

Jesus Christ.

Under the Obama administration, the American coal industry was completely destroyed. Slews of companies went bankrupt and the idea of ‘clean coal’ technology went out the door with the jobs once enjoyed inside of the dark, cavernous, mines of West Virginia.

“We’re bringing it back, and we’re bringing it back fast.”
– President Donald John Trump

Pres Trump Digs #Coal Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! #TrumpPressConference America Just Keeps Winning! ??pic.twitter.com/MpxfacTTne

— Ryan Cale (@rcale1776) February 16, 2017

Source: Daily Caller

Both chambers of Congress passed resolutions under the Congressional Review Act (CRA) earlier this year to eliminate the Department of the Interior’s so-called “Stream Protection Rule” on coal mine discharge into nearby streams.

Trump was expected to sign the CRA into law. The president said in a previous statement the $1.2 billion stream rule “duplicates existing protections in the Clean Water Act and is unnecessary given the other Federal and State regulations already in place.”

Trump said he’s “committed to reviving America’s coal mining communities, which have been hurting for too long” — a major campaign promise he made was to rollback federal regulations on coal use.

Lawmakers have introduced at least 37 CRA resolutions to repeal Obama-era rules. As many as 150 regulations are eligible for repeal under the CRA, according to experts.

The Obama administration finalized the stream rule in December 2016. Democrats and environmentalists support the rule because it restricts the amount of mining that can happen in Appalachia.

Republicans argued the stream rule is duplicative and would force more coal mines to close, forcing more miners out of work. Democratic Sens. Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota supported the rule’s repeal.

“Because of the war on coal waged by the Obama administration, over 240 coal fired plants have closed and 83,000 people have lost their jobs,” West Virginia Rep. David McKinley said in a statement. “Fortunately, we finally have a partner in the White House who understands just how damaging these rules can be.”

Coal stocks to watch: $ARCH, $CNX, $CLD, $WLB

Snapchat is the only relevant social media platform for my son, who is 20, and his friends. They love the damned thing — and view Twitter as something foreign and retarded. The only issue with $SNAP is the valuation by which is intends to come public.

I find it humorous that the company just flippantly had their valuation reduced by their underwriters from $25b to $20. Hello, that’s a 20% haircut. I guess it’s not a big deal when the company is coming public at 20x sales — representing the highest valuation of any social media stock. I blame the venture capitalists and of course the bastard underwriters. No one will make money on this stock for at least 6 months. But I must ask, will you buy at the opening tick in the hopes of seeing the company grow out of their absurd valuation and/or catch lightening in the bottle by way of momentum squeeze higher.

Will you buy $SNAP on the opening tick?

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) February 16, 2017

On its upcoming IPO, @barr5tt is concerned that Snap’s cost of sales is higher than its revenue five years after launch. #CheddarLIVE $SNAP pic.twitter.com/azAIRPsuQH

— Cheddar (@cheddar) February 15, 2017

Source: CNBC

Co-founder and chief executive Evan Spiegel, and chief technology officer Robert Murphy, will hold 88.5 percent of the voting structure after the IPO. This is because they hold Class-C stock, which has voting rights. The Class-A shares going on the market have no voting rights.

“Mr Spiegel and Mr Murphy, and potentially either one of them alone, have the ability to control the outcome of all matters submitted to our stockholders for approval, including the election, removal, and replacement of directors and any merger, consolidation, or sale of all or substantially all of our assets,” the filing said.

Snap’s IPO is being closely watched as it could set the tone for other technology offerings in 2017. Last year saw a dearth of U.S. listings, but experts are predicting that the market could thaw this year.

Snap makes its money through advertising and will need to convince potential investors that its app is not just a fad. In 2016, the company generated revenue of $404.5 million, a sixfold increase on the $58.7 million made in 2015, according to a regulatory filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. However, net losses widened to $514.6 million last year, from $372.9 million the year before.

At the end of 2016, Snap had 158 million daily active users, up 48 percent from the same time the year before. But in the fourth quarter of 2016, year-on-year growth of users fell, which Snap put down to increased competition as well as product performance issues stemming from updates to its app.

$SNAP is expected to price on March 1st, 2017.

I didn’t watch this, as I have better things to do. But I got the run down from someone who did and this is, essentially, a follow up to yesterday’s post about the media wrongly painting him as an anti-semite.

Why is he important? He has the largest following on Youtube, with over 53 million subs, filled with an audience of generation Z’ers. We all know how fucked up the millennials are, but there’s hope for the gen z’ers still.

Establishment shills: you’ve lost the present and you’re losing the future too. People see through your bullshit.