Morning Poppers (Spain is crashing edition)

Good morning Spaniards, get ready for insurrection.

The King of Spain held a television appearance in which he expressed his serious dismay with the dogs of Catalonia. It is illegal to claim independence and anyone who thinks the Kingdom of Spain will accept the secession of Catalonia will be vanquished from the face of the earth.

He called it, “an unacceptable disloyalty towards the powers of the state — a state that represents Catalan interests.”

It is believed Catalonia will tell the King to fuck off and declare independence within days.

This is profoundly bad news for the ECB and highly indebted EU states.

Spanish stocks are reeling lower, off by 2.4%.

Italy is just behind her, -1.47%.

German markets are flat. But more importantly, the 10yr yields on Spanish debt is rising, higher by 4bps — wider vs the German bund by a new recent high of 133bps.

Nasdaq futs are -10, gold +0.4%, dollar +0.25% v the euro, and nerves are on edge.

Got a date with the god damned auto mechanic today. In the meantime, here’s a snippet from the rewritten part of my book/long story (not sure how long it’ll go yet).

Let me tell you this right now, if Neel Kashkari is appointed to be next chief of the Federal Reserve, I will, quite literally, cut my balls off. I know that sounds a bit extreme; and I am offered zero upside to this bet. After all, should I win, whoopee-doo, someone else is running the Fed. But if I lose, I will then have to undergo the pain process of cutting my own testicles off with a dull knife.

The bond bozo, Jeff Gundlach, believes Kashkari will be the next Fed head — because MUH easy money.

Gundlach said that Trump needs someone who will keep rates low in order to keep his populist reputation and help his base voters and that’s why he’ll pick Kashkari.

“A stronger dollar is not good for achieving that agenda,” he said.

The current betting favorite on Wall Street for Fed chief is one-time Fed governor Kevin Warsh, but Gundlach says he doesn’t believe it’s going to be him. He also said there’s no way the president’s chief economic advisor Gary Cohn gets the job because of his close connections to Goldman Sachs, where he was the No. 2 executive. Last month, Trump interviewed them both for the job and current Fed governor Jerome Powell.

“I think I’m the only guy on God’s green earth that believes it will be Neel Kashkari,” said Gundlach.

Damn right you fucking idiot. It’s not going to happen.

The funnies never end with Trump. Would I rescind my vote after seeing what he’s become as President of the great United Steaks? Absolutely not. You mean to tell me a Hillary Clinton regime would be this funny?

Behold, as Trumptard congratulates himself and Puerto Rico for only having 16 people dead after Hurricane Maria — admonishing them for ‘throwing the budget out of whack.’ I certainly can respect the Ebenezer Scrooge like demeanor with regards to the people’s purse.

He also paid homage to the ‘very special thanks to the navy.’ He ‘saw the ships flying in’ and said ‘boy this looks like very big stuff.’

How many airlinefags are out there, pleasantly banking coin today? At the old brokerage house, I used to know a guy who only bought airlines. He bought those fuckers right into the ground and was buried with them — forced to leave the business for being broke.

Today’s airlines are different. They’ve learned to collude with one another, avoid price wars, and gouge customers over every last cent. I hate the airlines and try to avoid them whenever possible. Year to date, LUV is the best performing American airline, up 17%. But today’s all about Delta, buoying higher after guiding up. The entire sector is lit — higher by 5%.

Delta shares were 6 percent higher in early afternoon trading, on track for their biggest one-day gain since January 2015.

The airline told investors earlier Tuesday that Hurricane Irma, which struck its Atlanta hub and important Florida airports, would cost it $120 million in the third quarter. The carrier canceled 2,200 flights in the southern U.S. and the Caribbean because of the storm.

Delta said including the impact from Hurricane Irma, its passenger unit revenue, which measures how much money the airline is making for each seat flown a mile, likely rose 2 percent in the three months ended in September.

Shares of other airlines also rose. United and American were each up close to 5 percent, and JetBlue traded more than 6 percent higher. Southwest added close to 3 percent.

Delta is scheduled to report third-quarter earnings in the middle of the month.

La Croix has a new flavor out today, ‘Sang Humain’ and it’s absolutely delicious. I noticed all of you beta males have been quiet today, scared to get into heated and violent arguments with me. I understand, frankly. I used to toss people like you into mailboxes during pre-school — kick you until you’d give me your GI Joe toys.

In light of yet another harrowing day in FIZZ, I stepped in with the balls of a brass monkey, and bought the stock. Whoever thought Coke would buy FIZZ is outright retarded. Pepsi will buy them — because they have no choice — and must repent for their sins.

All of the finest dandies in America are stocking their refrigerators with this fancy faggot water. I hope you come to understand that I cannot lose here. Even if the stock went down and I undertook a temporary vacation at a gulag, I’d make it all back, and more, and end up kicking you in the stomach for your GI Joe’s again.

Pepsi much acquire FIZZ for 10x sales, or $240. When it happens, we will all celebrate, prance about the courtyard, laughing and frolicking — eating finger sandwiches and smoking cigars.

I awoke from my slumber and then sashayed (no homo) downstairs to make myself a grotesquely large mug of black coffee. I didn’t even bother looking at my stocks — because I already knew they’d be higher. Being a pescatarian and all, I didn’t have many choices of food to nibble upon — so I scrounged up a piece of bread, toasted it, and then placed some lettuce on it. I then devoured it whole, in one single bite.

I then opened my bullshit Apple laptop and perused, mind you, my winnings.

Voila.

Fuck you, what are you doing today?

See, that’s who I am, pal, and you’re nothing. Good Father, fuck you, go home and play with your kids. If you want to read here, CLOSE.

I’ll be going back to sleep immediately following this post. If you know me, do not bother texting or calling me on the phone, for I will be sleeping, counting sheep. After I errantly deleting the book I had been working on, like a possessed demon, I started a new one from scratch last night — banged out 3,000 words before I went to bed, which was like an hour ago. I’m pretty sure my lost version was complete shit compared to this one, which has a much lighter tone to it, less preachy, and keeps my omnipresent narration less biased and intrusive.

If you’re wondering if I have any shame, whatsoever, about loafing about the house on this fine day, heading back to catch some lazy Zs while the rest of America toils away at work — the answer is not anymore. Long ago, I was self conscious about working from home — especially when this one asshole client from NYC would introduce me to colleagues by saying “hey this is Fly — he works from home, in his pajamas and slippers.” You’d be pleased to know that I ended up losing this gent ~$100k. He should’ve been nicer.

Spanish stocks are lower by 0.8%. Thank heavens the Catalonians do not have guns like us Americans, else they might be able to do something about the oppressive Spaniards and earn their independence now. Instead, they’ll quickly be relegated to the fag box to live out their days as beating vessels for the Spanish police. Rest assured, like BREXIT, this too shall pass. Any ideas of freedom should be exited from your minds. We’re entering an era of technocracy, the natural evolution of government and part of the journey of mankind. We make mistakes and those errors are eventually corrected, by the deaths of millions. Be patient.

Copper is higher by 1%, while crude is flat.

The dollar is weaker by 0.2% v the dollar and BTC is off by 2.4%.

S&P futs are +1 and the Dow +30.

If we’re gonna start banning stuff, for the benefit of mankind, we should ban gambling. There is nothing more degenerate and corrosive to the well being of man than the institution of gambling — which is a denizen of ill repute, vagrancy, and excessive depravity.

“Warmest condolences” Really? Is he retarded?

My warmest condolences and sympathies to the victims and families of the terrible Las Vegas shooting. God bless you!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 2, 2017

Here’s the analyst moves this morning.

I have a habit of cleaning my computer of all files, because I do not like looking at a cluttered screen. More than that, for some reason, I do not like knowing there is trash in my trash bin.

You see where this is going.

For the first time in my life, I felt really good, as well as motivated, to tell the tale of the nascency of the dot com bubble, through my eyes. I was writing strong, with precision, throughly researched from the years of copious notes and records I had saved. I sifted through countless articles from that era, making sure my narrative fit the exact dates.

I LOST THE ENTIRE STORY, ALL 10,000 WORDS.

How?

New computer…never hooked into time machine for backups…fucked.

The Hybrid Overbought signal has now overpassed the lauded Hybrid Oversold signal as the most predictable indicator for higher prices now. Essentially, markets in motion tend to stay in motion. The character of this market is more geared towards continued momentum, rather than mean reversion starts, pauses, and restarts.

The data does not lie.

36 mos, 88% win rate.

Last signal, as told here, was last Wednesday.

The Hybrid Overbought signal has now surpassed the lauded Hybrid Oversold signal as the most predictable indicator for higher prices now. Essentially, markets in motion tend to stay in motion. The character of this market is more geared towards continued momentum, rather than mean reversion starts, pauses, and restarts.

The data does not lie.

36 mos, 88% win rate.

Last signal, as told here, was last Wednesday.