iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,004 Blog Posts

DIMON: GOVERNMENTS WILL SHUT DOWN BITCOIN

How will you cryptofags recover from these comments, a stinging assessment of your primary source of wealth: FRAUD. Earlier today, Dimon said Bitcoins were a fraud and was nothing more than a redux of the tulip bubble. This afternoon, he doubled down on those comments and said it was only a matter of time before government took notice of Bitcoins and shut that shit down.

Imagine this: you’re there in your pleather chair, buying and selling cryptos, content with your illicit gains in today’s modern day tulip craze. Nature calls and you visit the lavatory to defecate inside of your Home Depot tier Kohler bowl. You get back to the chair and see your accounts have been frozen — because the Federal Reserve, in conjunction with all central banks around the world, that bitcoins were illegal and shut down under AML laws.

Your accounts are zero, dreams dashed, Bernanke wins again.

Bitcoins are down a staggering 1.4% on this newz.

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23 comments

  1. zephler

    At several bonfires this summer, I overheard several 20 something year olds talking about how awesome bitcoin is, describing chart patterns and all – surely (((they))) will pull the plug soon, desu.

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  2. gappingandyapping

    Peter Schiff thinks it will fail too. But here is the deal, right now you can exchange your dollars for bitcoins and you can buy stuff with bitcoins, I personally have bought a lot of things with bitcoin so it works and is not a fraud if people associate value with it. Look at gold, it does absolutely nothing for you unless you make electrical connectors and shit. But the shit is valuable. Anything that is of value to someone else can be swapped for currency, no matter the form. Fucking sake these Psychics routinely swap their valued “services” for currency so as much of a sham that they are they still provide value to someone else they would be swapped for currency.

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    • tonka

      I have a hard time thinking retailers will ever widely accept a currency that fluctuates 10%+ a day, with no active derivatives market to hedge themselves.

      BUT…if Peter Schiff says it’s gonna fail I can’t help but think it’ll be a resounding success.

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      • cancel19

        Peter Schiff after all is a “gold bug” by definition. Right? Am I right?

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      • gappingandyapping

        Retailers don’t saddle the risk at all, evidently you don’t know much about it, they use Bit Pay who then arbs the whole transaction. The retailer doesn’t take on any risk. A lot of large companies accept Bitcoin right now: http://www.businessinsider.com/5-big-companies-that-currently-accept-bitcoin-2017-7/#dish-network-2

        I pay for stuff on Newegg with it often.

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        • tonka

          I must not have been clear cuz this is very simple.

          If I’m a retailer and I have a large bitcoin receivable coming in 3 months, I don’t care if someone will arb the transaction in 3 months. Between now and then I carry a huge currency risk. How do I hedge against that?

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          • tonka

            In short, any company that has currency mismatches between revenue and expenses can hedge that risk in every currency out there…except crypto currencies.

            Unless there’s an OTC equivalent I’m unaware of…which certainly could be the case.

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    • clock

      let me think.
      Do i want a pound of bitcoin or a pound of gold?
      ô¿ô

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  3. joyous__ending

    WAIT A MINUTE!!!
    JP Morgan invested and is promoting Ethereum and Quorum.
    Bitcoin bad, Ethereum good?

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  4. ferd

    Dimon is a gifted politician. “Hey, I’m not saying short it …my daughter bought some and it went up …now she thinks she’s a genius.” This is how real people talk …most of us have probably said exactly the same thing regarding those we know who have made a killing in bitcoin. Next Dimon talks about how governments regard currencies …as if he’s one of us, just trying to guess what “the man” will do. Contrast that to one of his peers …like Blankfein doing “God’s work” and feeling like you need a shower after seeing him.

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  5. soupbone

    Wall St gets what Wall St wants. The Fed gets what The Fed wants.
    Bitcoin will parlay into that before you are told it might happen. Tulips.

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  6. momsen92

    US will create its own digital currency. It’s allowing these crap currencies to exist while they take notes on best practice. Why reinvent the wheel when you can take what someone else is doing, make it better and then put everyone else out of business.

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  7. skalliwag

    I think he has it right. However, the currency in Ecuador is the US dollar. They destroyed the Ecuadorian Sucre some 15 years ago.

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  8. ironbird

    This can not be good.

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  9. sarcrilege

    Anybody who talks in absolutes will be proven wrong. The FED/Gov’t will try, but kill it they wont. Illegal? Yes. Kill it? No.

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    • metalleg

      Who you gonna believe? Dimon or Gates? Gates says the government can’t stop Bitcoin.

      Now think about this…

      Trading profits at JPM are declining. As the CEO of a company, where’s his interest? Correct, making money, improving his bottommost line.

      He sees an opportunity for his firm to get into crypto trading and perhaps they can control the market given their unlimited resources. Don’t you think he’s going to make sure that JPM makes a killing in the crypto space?

      He ain’t dumb. People who believe what he says may be though.

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  10. awanka

    First they came for our bitcoins…

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