CNN Undergoes ‘Technical Difficulties’ During Obamacare Victims Broadcast

Yes, CNN did it again. Whenever CNN pretends to be a news organization, rest assured, they will always tip their hand — revealing themselves to be nothing more than s h i l l s.

For the sake of posterity, let’s revisit some of CNN’s recent forays into the unfortunate world of technical difficulties.
CNN cuts off Congressman who dared to discuss Wikileaks
Bernie Sanders cut off after calling CNN Fake News
CNN host cut off after criticizing Hillary
Congressman cut off after citing refugee crime stats

And now today.

What’s also interesting, according to CNN, it’s ‘illegal to possess stolen documents’ — aka the wikileaks emails. So, in the event you’re interested in reviewing its findings, please refrain from doing so and let them, the professional journalists, convey the details of its contents to you — the unwashed manlet.

Christine Wang from CNBC is reporting Bill Ackman, the beleaguered billionaire hedge fund manager who once nearly crippled himself in a bike race against Dan Loeb, has reportedly sold out of his $VRX position and will be stepping down from its board.

Let this be a lesson to some of you youngsters out there, coming up in the world.

Here is the lesson.

After you become a billionaire hedge fund manager and begin conducting yourself like a complete asshole, try to remain discreet about your positions and try not to marry them — as most end up in divorce. In this case, Bill married the fat slob from Valeant, Mike Pearson, and got caught holding a bag of dicks, plus $2 billion in losses, as a result.

After his high profile debacles in JCP, HLF short and now this, I doubt Bill will ever make it to $10 billion in net worth — which is a shame because he was on his way. Instead, he’ll need to downsize to sub $100m penthouses and fly economy, in order to preserve his stately existence.

Life does go on, however.

Shares of VRX are getting ‘gorilla raped’ in the after hours session — down by more than 7%.

General building supplies, steel, home improvement stores and banks led the market higher today — continuing a theme based on Trump’s infrastructure plans. Following the comments by the CEO of UTX on Friday, I really liked this move and intend to start allocating assets immediately.

Here are some stocks on my radar.

$WLK, $USG, $WYNN, $CMI and any other industrial that stands to benefit from an increase in growth.

This is a minor tweak for me, away from some of the more riskier plays to a larger capped theme. I am sure Jeff will touch upon some of these points this week during iBC’s quarterly boot camp — starting tonight through Friday.  This will be our most widely attended online event today, so don’t miss out on The Option Addict’s one of a kind teaching conference. Also, all attendees will receive a free week of After Hours with The Option Addict — a $125 value.

In other news, a snowstorm of epic proportions looms over the northeast corridor of the United States. Make sure you have enough gin and vermouth to survive the ordeal.

Family idiots across the east coast of the United States are in a state of sheer, unadulterated, panic now, as a substance called ‘snow’ makes its way towards them — barreling ahead at high speeds threatening to both freeze and starve anything in its path.

As such, workers on the fiefdom have begun to prepare to become upbraided — scouring local haberdasheries for both food and supplies that will protect them in their hour of need.

Earlier today, I can attest to the fact that I bore witness to my neighbor unloading at least 3 gallons of cow’s milk from his car, into his human containment vessel. His outward demeanor has always been mostly laconic, rarely uttering idle pleasantries upon seeing each other. But today was a different beast. I could only surmise the obsequious looming threat of an extinction level event, at least in his mind, caused him to take strident steps towards me to ask if I had prepared for the storm that is to come.

‘Did you go shopping yet? The stores are packed. You should go now if you haven’t already. The weatherman said we might get 18 inches of snow.’

To that, I denoted an over abundance of both milk and bread were conveniently found inside of my pantry and that my back up generator was somewhat questionable, but should be ready by tomorrow’s harrowing affair.

After an awkward silence, he removed himself from the conversation, without ever utilizing any of the conventional social graces of decorum that is expected by well bred citizens of the human race. Instead, a staggered shuffle back to his beaten up car, followed by a frantic grab of at least 10 grocery bags, followed by a half cocked waive towards my general direction with his eyes firmly fixed on the floor, marked the end to our little prattle.

Recent data suggests America frackers are having a field day drilling for oil at current price levels. The House of Saud is on record saying they would not cut back production in order to placate American drillers gone wild. Essentially, we’re at an impasse here, juxtaposed between overzealous American drillers who have nothing to lose and sovereign governments in the Middle East who solely depend on the price of crude to keep their lights on, figuratively speaking.

“It will be interesting to see how OPEC rhetoric will evolve with this price correction. Is price the only consideration when it comes to the decision of extending cuts?” BNP Paribas global head of commodity strategy Harry Tchilinguirian told the Reuters Global Oil Forum.

Very little has been said about the 3mo lull in crude prices and recent acceleration to the downside. It has not been pretty.

According to Exodus, the median price drop for the oil drillers is in the magnitude of 17% — effectively approaching bear market territory. Today the sector is bouncing — but this is definitely the single most important sector to watch for a variety of reason.

Alongside being a barometer for global economic conditions, the oil sector also comprises a large portion of America’s high yield credit — represented by ETFs $JNK and $HYG. Bear in mind, this is still an industry with hundreds of billions in debt and could pose as a systemic problem at anytime during the credit cycle — should liquidity tighten.

Why am I still in cash? I’m appropriating myself according to the tenets of proper decorum, attempting to re-enter the market like a hero returning from the scourge of war. In the meantime, the overall condition of the tape continues to bore — which is likely a good thing.

As expected, basic materials are bouncing today with excellent participation rates. Exodus demonstrated a very low score for the sector last week, especially in gold. Bargain shoppers are diving back in today.

You’ll want to be out of this trade by the time that oscillator hits the high end of the range. In the interim, there are many bargains to scoop up here — following an 8% overall sector pullback.

I’ll wait just a little more for the broader indices to firm up before diving back in. I’m not bearish, at all — just patient.

Market breadth stands at 62% today — meaning we can go either way now. The recent bias has been to the downside. Let’s see if breadth can firm up into the 70% range. If so, we’ll likely rally into the close and possibly set up for a good week for traders.

Scotland’s leader, Nicola Sturgeon, said she was going to prepare the groundwork for a second independence referendum — after losing one miserably in 2014 by 10%. The causation for this level of absurdity is due to the UKs decision to leave the EU.

What Nicola intends to do is trade one master for another. The Scottish people weren’t born to be free — instead opting to be subjugated by England or in this case the empty vessels in Brussels.

Clearly, she is a stooge for the EU — a point of leverage for Germany and her friends. It appears, however, the U.K. isn’t thrilled about this decision.

The evidence clearly shows that a majority of people in Scotland do not want a second independence referendum,” the U.K. government said in a statement. “Another referendum would be divisive and cause huge economic uncertainty at the worst possible time.”

The market is literally laughing at the Scots now, bidding up the pound by 0.44% v the dollar.

This is a brilliant acquisition by $INTC. Now some of you might say ‘that’s madness buying $MBLY for $16b, why that’s 40x sales.’ Yeah but so what.

More to the point, instead of wasting money on idiotic buybacks, the company is taking out a Yolo trade with MBLY. They’ll be able to scale the business and the tech far greater than anything MBLY could’ve done on their own. Self driving cars, apparently, is the future. With this acquisition, Intel lo but assures themselves a dominant position.

The acquisition price is upwards of 30% higher from the Friday close.

In spite of MBLY fetching for such an ornate price tag, the company had been growing and will help Intel in that regard, even if the overall effect is nothing more than a rivulet in a larger body of water.

With approximately 15% of the shares short or anywhere from 20-25m shares, a sundry of bears stand to get castrated today. This stock had been a bear favorite due to valuation. The timing of this acquisition coincided with a weak overall market — meaning there’s likely an elevated amount of shorts stuck in the stock now.

Sucks to be them.

A young girl named Shree chimped out on the White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, the other day for merely existing. Lacking all of the basic rules of decorum set forth by thousands of years of evolution, this young lady tossed barbarous questions at dear, sweet, Sean — asking him how it felt to work for a treasonous Russian racist fascist bastard, replete with orange tones and idiotic red hats.

It wasn’t long before Sean tucked tail and ran out of the store — likely to cower underneath his silk sheets for having met face to face with such primordial barbarity.

BEHOLD THE Troglodyte!

Shree penned an explanation of sorts for her trespasses — accusing Mr. Spicer of threatening her with his racist ways.

“Such a great country that allows you to be here.”

Indeud.

 “Have you helped with the Russia stuff?” “Have you committed treason, too?” “You know you work for a fascist, right?” And, “Do you feel good about lying to the American people.”

America! Enjoy.

It’s imperative that Wall Street be afforded the opportunity to pile up investment banking fees in China — before the whole kit and kaboodle goes bust and the Chinese reinvigorate the ancient ritual of cannibalism to fend off mass starvation.

In light of the fact that worldwide debt to gdp has exploded to near unsustainable levels (US 105%, Japan 229%, Italy 133%, Portugal 129%, Singapore 104%, Spain 99%, France 96%, Ireland 93%, Canada 91%, UK 89%) — China’s mere 43% debt/gdp offers our beloved banksters with wanton levels of opportunity. Most of the low debt/gdp nations are third world shitholes — who are completely reliant upon globalist schemes to uplift their standard of living enough to make their credit marketable. But the Chinese are ready now and several of Wall Street’s finest banks are prepping the grounds for massive issuance.

Deutsche Banks sees the Chinese bond market expanding my a staggering 27% this year — equal to its GDP. That’s awfully ambitious, especially given the fact that foreign owned Chinese debt has shrunk in recent years.

“There are a lot of developments in recent weeks for hedging,” said Chia-Liang Lian, head of emerging-market debt at Western Asset Management. “It makes it very constructive in terms of the outlook for onshore investments in China.”

Part of Wall Street’s plans is to give investors FX protection via hedging tools. The PBOC are working towards meeting the demands of foreigners, in order to take their money.

“The PBOC will definitely improve arrangements of related regulations, such as law, accounting, auditing, tax and credit rating, and create a more convenient and friendly environment for overseas investors,” Pan said. “We’ll need to communicate more with overseas investors in this process. I don’t think this is urgent. We’ll do it step by step.”

In the onshore corporate bond market, both JP Morgan and BNP Paribas just joined Standard Chartered PLC and HSBC as the only banks permitted to sell ‘panda bonds’ in the country — yuan based debt to Chinese investors. That too is a ripe market for growth, with overseas banks representing just 2.8% of the issuance in China last year.

“Foreign underwriters have an advantage over Chinese counterparts in helping foreign companies tap China’s bond market because they know overseas clients a lot better,” said CG Lai, the Greater China head of global markets at BNP Paribas in Shanghai.