Apparently, the Bears Won

I am aggrieved to inform you that the proverbial ‘Roche Limit’ for the bulls was breached today and now the great Sword of Damocles awaits your figurine like heads.

Let me explain.

According to foremost experts in the laws of investing, the market reversal today was a ‘supreme and absolute’ death knell into the psyche of investors. This is that walk in the park you don’t come home from.

I’ve placed myself, we’ve all placed ourselves, in a most heinous and invidious position. After six long years, over 2,000 sunsets, the bull market has concluded today. On this very day that I speak of, ghouls plot your destruction at the Holland Lodge. Bears masquerading as humans are lulling you into a false sense of security. The theatrical fertilizer that you call news will leave indelible marks upon your 4 figure portfolios.

Might I suggest, if I might be so bold, that you get your affairs in order? At the end of the day, we’re all drifters and wastrels. Some do it from abject squalor, housing tenements located in high crime/risk parts of the world–like many of you. Others do it from 10,000 sq ft tombs, walking the night in a home better suited for mannequins, instead of people.

Alas, the javelin throwers have succeeded and we’re all coxcombs to their dominant alpha position. Flee now, lads, while you still have the chance!

It has been narrow. Many good stocks have been left behind, which makes me feel uneasy, as always. When the markets start to go up and some of my stocks are left behind, two things happen.

1. I begin to doubt the positions.

2. I look to upping the risk profile of my holdings, in order to participate in the rally.

Therein lies the danger. If we get a pullback, you’re left holding a bag of shit. Having said that, I pared back my HABT position again and started a new position in AGIO. I know, AGIO is super expensive and the stock is already up huge. However, their cancer drugs might be the biggest drugs ever. If approved, the stock may do what REGN did, so it’s worth the risk.

Right now I am in my office, drinking from a bowl with a handle on it, an obscene amount of coffee. I am fielding dozens of emails from prospective Exodus users and trying to come to grips with today’s market reversal. I went from being +0.4% to down 0.25%. It’s not a big deal, in the big scheme of things. But, I think it’s important that we recognize that oil/gas and homebuilders have been the only stocks that have risen in recent weeks. Almost everything else has remained flat to down.

The original game plan was to be long crude through April, was it not? Going with that train of thought, we should be paring down those positions here. I am thinking about selling out of my SLCA position and the rest of my FMSA. In its replace would be its natural enemy, an airline or two–maybe even a trucker.

If you’re short stocks, indeud the Sun Also Rises, especially from the East. You will walk away from this trading session a renewed man, a person of extreme importance and interest about the town. Beautiful women will flock to your side, hoping to glean a small piece of brilliance from your person. Remember to bestow unto others what has been given to you, good man.

NOTE: Fifty more Exodus trials will be emailed soon.

I realize today is a hard day. By looking at the indices, one might think a dedicated short seller is mad with rage. Its been 6 years of Dantes Inferno for short sellers and they never seem to get a break. Just when it looked like oil was on its way down the toilet bowl, when their leader of hell, Dennis Gartman, said it was going to $10 per barrel, it careens higher.

They almost had a Greek default 10 times, but no dice.

They once even had western countries teetering on insolvency, with sovereign debt yields spiking through the roof. Now Spain can borrow at a cheaper rate than the United Steaks.

More recently, biotech stocks posed as imminent danger to the bull market, overheating too fast–much to the bears delight. Well, it pulled back 5% and now they’re running again.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is being given to the short sellers of America. These poor lads have been living in abject squalor for more than half a decade. I am thinking about starting a foundation to help these people. Perhaps we can all donate, and show our good grace, just 1% of our profits to this foundation and help feed a bear family tonight.

What do you say?

In other news, TWTR is breaking legs to the upside. I am pissed off for not owning it. I wanted to buy Rignet, RNET, 10 points ago; but missed that too. AGIO flagged oversold in The PPT yesterday, with a 10 up 1 down track record. That stock still looks good today.

My PANW, SLCA and N are powering forward today, lending to an even more hedonistic 2015 for yours truly. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns today, with breadth at around 59%.

Lastly, we sent out 12 beta trials last night. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts. We will send out another 50 today.

We’ve selected a random 12 people, apostles if you will, to beta test Exodus tonight. After that, we will choose 50 per day for the next week, to give everyone a 3 day look inside the world’s best financial tool ever made.

What exactly is Exodus?

Look at your hand and remember these 5 things.

1. Powerful equity and ETF screener.

2. Vibrant community of sophisticated professionals and self-directed investors.

3. Instant analyzer of both technicals and fundamentals, for over 4,000 stocks and ETFs.

4. A reservoir for actionable ideas, given by the creator of Exodus and founder of iBankCoin, none other than Plutonium Petey himself–master and commander of the internets.

5. Predictive algorithms with an amazing track record since 2008, currently 84% successful in timing market turns from oversold conditions. We have hundreds of testimonials to support these arguments.

I made 0.52% for the day, at annual highs of +16%. Off to the gym.

Styling Like A Champion from iBC on Vimeo.

I don’t mean to chastise any of you. Like a father cares for a child, sometimes it’s important to be authoritative with guidance, otherwise the child runs off to get ran over by automobiles.

“The Fly” is of ‘supreme intellect’ by far above your layman capacities. You could live for another thousand years and not come within 25% of my intelligence quotient. It’s not because you were born stupid, or anything like that. Very simply, I was built better.

The market is off to the races and I am making moves again. I sold out of LVLT and bought CENX, a seasonal trade in a stock that has been battered to pieces. The company is making plenty of money and falls in under my umbrella of discounted free cash flow companies trading at distressed levels–off by 40% for 2015.

You can try to beat me and suffer the pangs of miserable failure. Or, you can simply fold tent and behold the winship that shadows Señor Tropicana, a designation that has been abundantly clear since the early days of adolescence.

That dip lasted all but 9 minutes (thank you Raul for tracking it for us!).

This isn’t a game, never has been and it never will be. “The Fly” is like a fencing master, only he fences with nuclear bombs. If you’ve come to battle me, by attempting to take my coin, I will Nagasaki you.

I don’t need to rehash my top stock picks. Cut it out already. I don’t want to know about your position in stupid things, like gold. All that is important, at this juncture in time, is that the short sellers get their heads chopped off clean.

It’s time, gentlemen, to bring forth the gimp, officially known as ‘Le Gimp’ in France, and bask in the glory of sharp upside reversals.

NOTE: Bluestar’s funeral has been scheduled for tomorrow.

For current subscribers and interested parties in Cain Thaler’s Income Investment Report, the quarterly report has been posted and up for your analysis. If you’re interested in dividends and need a resource to generate ideas, backed by sound fundamental analysis, this is for you.

Happy Easter everyone, non-christian heathens included. Futures are off by around 1%, thanks to Friday’s jobs report. The Atlanta arm of the Fed is expecting flat GDP, which is going to stoke the flames of recession through the community of fucking assholes. You have nothing to fear, but fear itself.

I’d like to wager dollars to donuts we close up tomorrow. The fact that the jobs number was soft only lends to the idea that the Fed will not hike rates. With that off the table, the free money camp should run wild…naked…in the daytime.

The dollar should go down, gold up, stocks the fuck higher.

If not, fear not, the dip will be short lived.

Over the past two weeks, biotechs have softened, while residential construction and chinese stocks surged. The market is rotating out of one hot sector into another. But you know which sectors don’t give a shit about hot money? How about companies that are banking coin, generating tonnes of free cash flow?

I have an idea for you tonight, straight from one of my Exodus screens: Ralph Lauren, ticker RL.

Year to date, the stock is off by 26%. Yet, at the same time, the company is generating more than $200 mill in earnings per quarter. The PE is absurdly low and the price to sales ratio hasn’t been this low since 2007. I don’t like RL here, I love it.

NOTE: We might send emails to a limited few tonight to begin The PPT Exodus beta trials. If not tonight, soon.

We all know about The Shining or the one retarded film that Stanley Kubrick made called Space Odyssey 2001–thanks to horror fan buffs and acid addled hippie bastards. However, how many of you have seen Barry Lyndon?

After watching this movie, I became transfixed with Kubrick’s work. It is by far the most innovating, crisp, and creative of his era.

This film in particular, Barry Lyndon, is a personal favorite. Every single scene is a work of art, literally. You can screen shot any part of the film and it will look like a classic oil painting.

As for the content: dark, dry, comedy, mixed with sarcasm– my favorite type of funny. Mrs. Fly watched some, at my request, and didn’t find it funny, not even in the least. Then again, she can sit through an entire Eastbound and Down episode, complain about all the profanity being used, and not crack a smile once, not even a little.

This is a classic film, one of the best ever. Watch it!

I’m just trying to keep up with the psychotic minds of the people who pull levers. A few month’s ago, good jobs numbers sent the market spiraling, for fear that the Fed would use this new found prosperity to fuck the country. Using the same logic, now that we see people unemployed again, manning soup lines, shouldn’t that mean that rate hikes are entirely OFF the table; therefore, QE is a real possibility, which will jack prices–the fuck–higher?

One thing is for certain: the status quo of watching the economy plod along in the midst of a commodity rout cannot last forever. At some point, the economy needs real stimulus. It’d be nice if the fuckheads in the White House and congress actually gave two shits, and a few camels, about growth and passed some tax cuts/stimulus packages, instead of having to rely on Dr. Frankenstein at the Fed.