Happy 8th Birthday iBankCoin

Unlike previous birthdays, I’m not going to wax poetical over the past, bring back old bloggers from the dead, and reminisce over yesteryear’s glory. I’m very excited with the new iBankCoin and the direction the site is headed. For years I treated the site as a littering ground for my frustrations, thrusting them upon you, the reader; and, as a result, I greatly limited my ability to inform and communicate with an otherwise inferior set of intellects.

Thankfully, I’ve decided to embark on a new journey with iBankCoin, one focused on content, finance news with an interesting twist, as well as continued excellence in stock market commentary, wrought with scandal and ripe for picking. During the year we were able to launch Exodus, our market intelligence platform that is 2nd to none in the Fintech industry, one that defecates on all of the combined products of my competitors, then lights their skeletal remains on fire.

Over the past year, we’ve built a solid infrastructure, brought in some new people. We established an iBankCoin customer services department with a live 24 hr per day hotline, manned by a real person who doesn’t live in India. I pay him to just sit there and watch televsion, awaiting your calls. I have tons of new tools and ideas that will go into Exodus, all free upgrades. But most importantly, we brought back the Peanut Gallery, aka iBankCoin’s Blogger Network. I’m really excited about bringing new talent into our fold. I intend to expand the program from the current 6 bloggers to 30 within 6 months.

As you know, we just executed another website redesign, one that brings us in line with current trends, focused on mobile. Over the past month, traffic is up 50%, thanks to the new approach and design.

What to look forward to in the future?

I’m gonna continue to rain fire on all of the catamites out there, pretending to be stock market gurus. I have a brand new arsenal of weapons and I intend to use them, up until the time when I finally complete my Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) and use it to destroy whole continents in one fell swoop.

I’ve had lots of bloggers and stock pickers come through these halls throughout the years. We’ve never, ever, had better content and talent than we have now. I really mean that. The team that I’ve assembled at iBC is second to none and anyone who’s attended our investors conferences knows that to be true.

Thank you for reading and supporting the site, as its grown from nothing to the dark, insidious force it is today. Thank you for all of the people who contribute in the comments section, keeping the energy levels high. Thank you to all previous and current bloggers, giving me your passion for stocks and love for the written word. And, lastly, thank you to the fucked faces who keep this stock market ponzi-fuckhead scheme going. You’ve given me endless nights of horror and countless days of wanton enjoyment, watching humans behave very badly.

Happy 8th birthday to iBankCoin!

NOTE: I just opened a Facebook account for iBC like last month. Words cannot express how stupid I am for ignoring the world’s largest social media site. Please like it, share the content with your moron friends, and help spread our brand of propaganda.

 

Back in 2007, this was our introductory video, made by Danny, unveiling the new site.

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