iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

EVERY TRADER MUST DIE

Before this year is done, all traders will be dead. Plus anyway, once Bernard Sanders becomes President in 2016, he will tax short term profits at 99%, effectively ravaging Wall Street of all of its gains for the benefit of a few million poor citizens.

These are the final stages of American capitalism. Before long, you will all be given a stipend. Your businesses will be seized and managed by a 300 pound woman, who grew up in a very urban setting. Your company will be forced to employ homeless people and offer healthcare, at an onerous expense.

Ten years hence, you will long for these days of profit. Over 100 trillion dollars will be owed by the US government, forcing old people into FEMA camps to be executed for the benefit of the national budget.

A NASDAQ rally for the ages is coming soon. The best way to catch it is to sit there, like a moron, and do nothing.

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35 comments

  1. Marc David

    Living Wage … coming to a town near you soon!

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  2. in your weeds

    “Your businesses will be seized and managed by a 300 pound woman, who grew up in a very urban setting.”

    Best line in a long time…bravo

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  3. it is showtime

    Lumber – new low

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  4. quad

    Best article you’ve ever written.

    Trump 2016. Let the bulls run free

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    • kdog

      Trump assures a Clinton win, I hate to say. Wait…at this point anyone on the Repub side assures a Clinton win for that matter.

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  5. Marc David

    “Taking muscle building advice from steroid users is as functional as learning how to get rich from a kid with a fat trust fund.”

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  6. kdog

    A buddy of mine got a really bad skin infection from a bench he used at the gym. It was nasty. He probably used it after another one of those roiders.

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    • Marc David

      I got an arm rash once using the preacher curl at my old gym. Needless to say, that opened my eyes to skin infection stuff you just mentioned @kdog

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      • gapfiller

        This is why I procured a large home in the suburbs with a home gymnasium. You guys will get Ebola or those amoebas that eat brains.

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  7. lplongo

    Quote of the day: “These are the final stages of American capitalism.”

    I’ve sort of had that feeling about it.

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  8. rigged game

    The cocksucking greedy banksters, business owners and management have nobody to blame but themselves.

    $20 million CEO pay “because we must stay competitive”.

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    • razorsedge

      U my friend r a communist,

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      • frog

        Politics is so retarded. You have no idea, Razor, what the political leanings of Rigged are.

        Donald Trump has been talking about excessive CEO pay, compared to average workers’ pay too. So some of the people who believe what Rigged just said are Republicans.

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  9. sloop

    You hit a FUCKING HOME RUN with this article. The fucking god damn liberals are going to kill America

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  10. longview

    Seriously though, is this to come to pass after the monster rally? My life may be pathetic, but I still like to plan ahead.

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  11. vandamme

    Amzn is actually the perfect way to play this despondent dystopia.

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    • joyous__ending

      Gawd I love dystopian thinking.
      Finance never seems to find its way into science fiction, since the future has no money.

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  12. ironbird

    What Catalyst? Other than Granny baking the biggest crack cocaine fruit pie ever conceived in Hell. What? Draghi fagged out. The Chinese can not see right. So where will this rally come from? Only the little old lady can do it.

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    • sloop

      it will be just an oversold bounce

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      • ironbird

        The Red Emperor is meeting with the Uncle Cheeseburger and his trusty crew of scoundrels today. Maybe the Summer dump was a ruse to get his balls licked by Americas best and brightest. Could be a catalyst.

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        • Dr. Fly

          Nice story

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          • ironbird

            Senor Fly. Indeed. If one cannot keep a sense of humor about the game one will not last. Learned that most important lesson from these hallowed halls.

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  13. mr_peartree

    this blog has gone full retard.

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  14. razorsedge

    Would have said laughing my ads off , but don’t know how to express that.

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  15. razorsedge

    Ass, Damn spell check

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  16. jacked rabbit

    This post has me confused. Should I be afraid of a dystopian communist with back acne or hate the 300 pound disabled woman taking over a business with just a verykool IFON?

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  17. Marc David

    Be afraid of both. They can exist in the same time and place.

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