AMERICAN COWARD

You’re all punk-ass bitches. It’s impossible to have a decent market with people like you trading in it, always dumping out, ham and egging it, capital losses abound.

Stocks are now careening lower, reversing nearly 400 points from this morning’s open. How wonderful!

Every second that passes, I lose 5k. When growing up, this is exactly what I envisioned myself doing, getting beat the fuck down, watching the values of my equities fluctuate like temperature in the desert. This is 100% bullshit and all of you are to blame.

I’ve done my part, trying to keep spirits up, buying into the blood, being a man. But not you, the American Coward, sashaying in and out of stocks, taking “rips” and eating potato chips lathered with ranched dressing, stuffing onion rings into and around your big, fat fucking faces.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I shouldn’t have to put up with this sort of chicanery. “The Fly” is an upstanding citizen of the United States, located in the Northeast corridor of these great lands. I’ve built profitable businesses and have dedicated vast swaths of my time to entertain a reader class during times of duress, as well as triumph. I come to work in order to bank coin, and make fun of bears. This whole upside down nature to the markets is insidious, cancerous and wholly unwarranted, even though it’s completely understandable.

For the day, I shed a little more than 1%.