iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,428 Blog Posts

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY STOCKS ARE UP THIS MUCH

Do not talk to me, for my gains are too largess for idle discussions amongst the plebeian/reader class.

Both CYBR and ONCE are up more than 7%. What does this mean?

For one, all of you shit-talking motherfuckers needs to check yourselves before I punch your jaws loose through the computer screen. I’m on vacation, but will not hesitate for a second to inflict disturbing bodily harm to your person.

It also means my YTD gains are at new highs, upwards of +30%.

Frankly, I cannot believe the gains I am lathering myself in this morning. Part of me wants to sell and then partake in wanton depravity. But that’s my dark/sinister side. The gentleman in me knows that my stocks are up because the Gods have selected me to be a lottery winner, at life. As such, it is my right and duty to press these gains, casually, and graciously inform my readers that betting against me is a futile endeavor, a task that has slain many men before you and will continue to harm and maim in the future.

“The Fly” stands atop the apex, victorious, urinating on all below him.

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18 comments

  1. speerothekid

    enter: malware drones

    https://hacked.com/hacking-drones-close-drawn-boeing-hacking-team/

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  2. berniecornfeld

    I demand to see a photo of The Fly riding the Intimidator at Kings Dominion!

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  3. zuulzuul

    Your gains aren’t gains until you convert them to dollars and convert the dollars to physical gold.

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  4. mrcharlie

    Fly = crushing life….again! Wheres OA? I need to buy him a Don Julio Anejo neat. GPRO still delivering

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  5. og

    Why did I recently buy FB instead of CYBR? Damn.

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  6. t.c.

    I own $CRUS which is up 18.79% today.

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  7. pyromonoxide

    CYBR and SBNY, yessssss.

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  8. longview

    TEN BILLION DOLLARS!

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  9. blahblahblah

    what about CRUS SNDK MBI AFOP USG
    sincerely, random milkshitter

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  10. aggiealum

    CRUS and SNDK definitely giving me second thoughts on YOLO Puts on SWKS…

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  11. bruce keller

    Good call on the CYBR! You’ve been pimpin’ that the last week or so.

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  12. it is showtime

    Most of MY stocks are up to. Ironic.

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  13. t.c.

    There goes $N. Like a strange looking baby in Mississippi.

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  14. bruce keller

    Man I wanted to get some $AMZN calls, but the premium was so ridiculous for same weeks that even if it opens up 17% tomorrow, the profits would have been relatively lackluster. Good thing is that that might help out the markets just a tad.

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    • mx2101

      bruce- I think probable outcomes are baked-in to the option price by normal and natural market forces. You need to be correct about an outlier event or a relentless trend.

      I think you could find that lackluster profit regularly in other option trades that are less likely to blow up.

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