iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,474 Blog Posts

OFF TO SEE ABOUT SOME KALE

This started out as a little man’s rally, small penis, flaccid, forked, fucked, radish. But now, as you can readily see, the city square is populated with all of its finest people to bear witness to the new DICKCHOPPER 5000 guillotines, removing men from their anatomy because they were short the market.

I am pressing gains of 1.3%, despite having a large cash position. But I haven’t been sitting, idle. I’ll have you know that I bought ANAC today, in decent size. And, for the love of kale juice and collared green milk shakes, I added to my WFM position. This is a 13 point average up; but I like my chances here with WFM heading into the gluttonous months of the year.

I am going to have a profound effect on your net worths, if you’d just shut the fuck up and pay attention, and bend the knee (extra Stannis, the one and only true king–by law).

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12 comments

  1. vandamme

    Them security stocks look nice too post-feye

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  2. Dr. Fly

    Long panw

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  3. the profit

    The entire game of thrones is about money… so the Iron Bank determines the winner.

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  4. the shiek

    All you need to know is Materiality wins the derby and Mayweather takes a nap in the 7th

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    • matt_bear

      if Fly ever let me use his time machine, i’d be betting my parent’s house on Douglas over Tyson.

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  5. matt_bear

    was that your 250k shares bought at 1:24pm EST? i love seeing large 1 minute candles

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  6. bonobo smores

    A friend of mine who has a few cannabis plants says the males aren’t good for anything but pollinating the femmes. He throws a little of the male plant in the blender with his morning smoothie. Calls it the new kale. Hows that for a Dickchopper 5000?
    Nice call on the $TEX

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    • doughjadank

      CBDs and a lil THC. Plus all those terpenoids. Get your CB1/2 synapses firing right.

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  7. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Even goats won’t eat Kale and they will eat a fucking old vinyl car seat. That’s how bad it is.

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  8. kdog

    Yes, my Lord.

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  9. it is showtime
    it is showtime

    They better move it back up
    To keep the fabric of society from breaking
    Oh look they did

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  10. one-eighty

    We filled up our garden with kale and collards. We had fresh greens almost every day all winter long until yesterday, when I dug up the last plants.

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